


A Promise Unbroken

by raelee514



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fix It Fic, M/M, Robert gets out prison, reunion 3.0 is an inevitability
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-01-24 12:55:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 63,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raelee514/pseuds/raelee514
Summary: I HATE SUMMARIES.It's been seven years since Robert went to prison.Aaron has custody of Seb and has moved on and engaged.But will Robert find himself getting out prison early?Can Robron get their future back?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 434
Kudos: 483





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to wait a bit longer to write this since I already have so many WIPs but damn it I couldn't.. canon is just too shattering at the moment.
> 
> *editing to add... Yes, in my headcanon Robert is at Isle of Man and not Isle of Wight cause fuck that. :)

Sometime in September, 2027

**Dad,**

**Da and I went away for the whole weekend. Just us, and it was amazing. We went to the beach, and he taught me all about fossils and seashells. I have almost a full shoebox full of the things we collected, everything is different, nothing is the same. And we went to the zoo — I love the zoo, there was ice cream and candy floss. And I saw a giraffe and a zebra! **

**I wish we’d stayed there. **

**When we got home, Da and Dennis sat me down, and I don’t like what they said… They’re engined or something, and the three of us have to move to some other house because of it. I don’t wanna move, I don’t like it, I like my room, and I like our house. I told Da that, and he got a look on his face, and I ended up crying and running to my room.**

**I slammed the door.**

**I’m probably in trouble.**

**Love you, Dad, **

**Seb **

**P.S. I drew the giraffe and some of the fossils for you.**

The paper crumbled in his hands, the shattering in his heart, wanted to destroy the evidence, and he tossed it across his cell and cursed at that tears pricking his eyes. He didn’t have the right to be upset, he lost all rights to Aaron a long time ago — he’d chosen it. He’d wanted this, wanted Aaron to move on, and live a life without him. Because he shouldn’t have trapped with Robert, not when he was in prison and so far away from everyone else Aaron loved. 

Robert almost wished he’d never conceded to contact with Seb — it was just letters, but sometimes they hurt more than they helped. But it was his son, and from the first little missive in scrawly six-year old penmanship arrived, it’d given him something to live for, to look forward to…

But this… this? Robert sighed and leaned back on his cot and stared at the ceiling. He knew every crack, ever water stain, he knew every imperfection of it and it almost soothing sometimes but not now. Now it just reminded him he was trapped and alone, and he had seven more years before any hope of seeing the outside again. 

“It’s for the best,” he muttered, over and over, a familiar mantra, one he’d been saying since the first second he decided to cut Aaron off. “It’s for the best.” 

Over and over, he said it until the tears stopped falling and went dry on his cheeks. Then he took a deep breath, sat up, and pulled the drawing his son sent him out of the envelope. He stared at it for a long time, tried to picture Seb and Aaron on the beach — it was hard to see his son as anything but a toddler, despite pictures that Seb sent of himself over the years. He got one every birthday and every Christmas. 

Aaron always dressed him in an ugly sweater in the Christmas photos — and Robert sighed and reminded himself not look into it. Not to grasp at straws, they were over — he knew Aaron moved on. Now it was cemented. Robert sighed, and went over to add the drawing to the collection he had, putting it on the top. He picked up the pile of drawings that were his only connection to his son. 

After another moment of wallowing, he took a deep breath and found a piece of paper and pen and started to write back to Seb… to tell him it was okay to move, that it would be good for him and his Da. As much as it broke his heart and felt like lie. He was good at lying, though.

~~~

Aaron frowned at the for sale sign that in front of the Mill, and crossed his arms against his chest, inhaling deeply and telling himself it was for the best. It made sense, they should move, because he was starting a new life, with his new fiance, who would be his new husband. Something about it stuck in the back of his throat, but he swallowed it and reminded himself that it’d been their idea, together, he wasn’t being pushed into anything. 

He never liked change. Ever. 

But he continued to frown at the sign. He heard footsteps on the pavement behind him and turned half expecting to find, his mum, Liv, or Vic there with a concerned looked on their face, ready to spout advice or concern he didn’t need. He felt relieved when it was a stranger, which felt wrong really, and guilt settled in his gut — but he was used to that. 

“You the one selling?” the stranger asked.

He turned to really look at her. She seemed about his age, blonde and short, dressed in black jeans and a black shirt. He’d never seen before, and instantly, the thought of a stranger in the Mill made him feel ill. “Yeah,” he said, anyway. 

“Could I take a peek inside?” she asked. 

“Don’t see why not.” He shrugged and started walking. 

He heard her behind him. 

He opened the doors and let her go in first. 

She stepped inside, and he walked in behind her, wishing that she hated the place more than she liked the place. And half hating himself for it… It might be better if they got a fast bite. Sell it quickly, rip it off like a band-aid. They already had their new flat. In that apartment complex, Kim Tate managed to get built up the road to the horror of most of the villagers. It’d taken Dennis a bit to talk him into it, the only reason he ended up giving in was it kept him Emmerdale. He didn’t really want to live anywhere else — and he’d known Seb would be upset, and this at least kept near the family. 

“It’s nice… Not sure about the stairs, though.”

Aaron cracked a smile at that. 

“I’m Lace, by the way,” she said and held out her hand.

“Aaron Dingle.” 

They shook hands.

She dropped it and looked around the living room a bit. “Why are you moving, if can ask, this place seems a bit nice to give up?”

“Fresh start, getting married, we want a new place for our new life…” it sounded ridiculous to him when he said it out loud. 

“Ah…” she looked around more. “Fiancee wants to add a woman’s touch?”

“No, he just wants us to have our own space.”

“Oh, sorry… shouldn’t assume,” she picked up a photograph that was the table. “This him?” she flipped it around so Aaron could see it. 

His throat went dry. It was a photo of Robert and Seb, taken just a few weeks before Robert decided to vanish from their lives. Aaron shut his eyes, trying to shut out the memories, they cut, they always cut and he avoided ever looking at that photo directly. It was there for Seb because Seb loved Robert and he had so little of him. 

“That’s my ex and our son,” he managed to say after a beat. 

“Oh, I stuck my foot in it, I’m sorry.”

“It’s…”

“That’s MINE,” a voice shouted, and Aaron turned to see Seb flying off the stairs, and he’d ripped the photo out of the woman’s hand before he could even get his mouth open. 

“Seb,” was all he managed when did. 

“It’s alright,” She said. “I overstepped.”

Seb hugged the photo and glared at her. “You shouldn’t touch people’s things.”

“Seb,” Aaron said. “She’s a guest.”

“I don’t know her. You say never talk to strangers, why should I let them touch my stuff.” 

“It’s alright,” the woman said again. 

Aaron sighed. 

“I apologize,” she said to Seb. 

Seb eyed her warily. “Alright. Who are you?”

“I’m looking at the house.”

Aaron braced himself for his son to go off and he wasn’t disappointed if that could be the word.

“It’s not for sale, Da’s going to change his mind… Aren’t you?”

“No, Seb…” he said and shook his head sadly.

“I know you don’t really want to move, I KNOW IT,” he shouted, and then he flounced. 

Aaron groaned as he watched him, stomp up the stairs. “He’s nine going on fourteen instead of ten…” he muttered. 

“Why I’ll probably never have kids,” she said, but she looked understanding. “Could I see the upstairs?”

Aaron nodded and motioned for her to go first. 

“Where are you moving too?” she asked. 

“Just up the road, those flats you probably saw them on your drive in.”

“Those buildings that ruined the view?” she asked.

Aaron shrugged. “Kept us in the village, near family, near my job.”

“Oh, what do you do?”

“Own a scrapyard.”

“That can be good business.”

“Sometimes.”

“And your fiance?” 

“He’s bartender, works for my mum.”

“All in the family.”

“Dingle way,” he said. 

“Must be nice,” she said. 

“What?”

“A family,” she said softly and stuck her nose into what used to be Liv’s room. 

“Guest room now, though never been used. Used be my sister’s, but she lives in town with my cousin and her friend Gabby now.” 

She nodded and indicated the closed door that had a plaque that said Sebastian on it. “Your son’s room?”

Aaron nodded. 

“He’ll come around,” she said.

Aaron shook his head. 

“Stubborn?”

“Takes after his dad…” Aaron muttered though he wasn’t sure if he meant Robert or himself. 

“Does he see him, his other dad?”

Aaron frowned. 

“Sorry, keep your nose out, Lace… always been too nosy for my own good.”

Aaron shrugged and felt relieved she didn’t push. He didn’t want to throw a possible buyer out of the house. He didn’t want to put her off by mentioning Seb’s father was in prison. 

She poked into the master bedroom and nodded to herself. “I’m definitely considering this…” she said. “Should I call the number on the sign, or just give you my info and you’ll have real estate agent call me?”

“Uh… yeah, give me your info,” he muttered. He’d shunt it off to Dennis. 

She pulled a wallet out of here back pocket and rifled through it a bit, before producing a card. Aaron took it and blinked. It simply said: Lace and then a phone number. Which struck him as odd, and he must have given her a look. 

“I don’t like my family,” she said.

He remembered what she said earlier and nodded, remembering why he’d changed his last name to Dingle. Why he’d needed too, and suddenly he wanted her to have the Mill. “If you meet our asking price, we’ll take it right out the market.”

“Really?” she smiled. 

“Yeah, just, you’ll get a call.”

“Great,” she said.

He motioned to the stairs, but as they started, Seb’s door opened. Aaron looked back and watched Seb’s green eyes narrow at… Lace, was it? He almost warned Seb not to start. But needn’t have worried. 

“Da, can I go up to Isaac’s?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Can you mail this?” he handed him an envelope.

He took the envelope, flipping it so he wouldn’t have to see Robert’s name and nodded. “It’s early, yet,” he said, because there was a schedule, it was every two weeks. Seb would write, and Robert would write back, and it came out every two weeks. Robert’s next letter would arrive in a few days. 

“I had things to say,” Seb muttered. 

Aaron shut his eyes and told himself it was none of his business what Seb and Robert wrote to each other. When he opened them, Lace was watching him, and he could tell she was trying to not stick her nose in, and he appreciated it. They walked down the stairs. 

“I can find my way out…” she trailed off. “You know, I’m heading to the post, actually if…”

Aaron hesitated.

“Am I overstepping? I mean, I do hope we’ll be neighbors.”

“It’s just, don’t forget to mail it? It’s important…to Seb.”

“Alright.”

“Um… it’s…. he didn’t really do anything wrong,” he muttered an instant defense for Robert as he handed over the envelope knowing the woman would read it — she was nosy. He wondered why he liked her?

Her face was confused until she saw the address. She looked back at the now empty table where the photograph had been and nodded. “I won’t judge, explains a lot…”

Aaron shrugged. 

“I look forward to that phone call,” she said and walked out. 

Aaron sighed and slumped onto the couch. He felt tired. 

~~~

“Sugden,” a guard called out.

Robert stopped short before biting into his sandwich and turned. 

“Got a call from that solicitor that’s been trying to reach you again?”

“I’ve told ya, not interested.”

“It’s your right to accept it or not…”

“Unless it’s Clive, my solicitor, I will not take the call,” Robert said.

“Alright…”

Robert sighed and went back to his sandwich, ignoring the churning in his gut that was curious what it was about it… Probably another hotshot young lawyer who thought they could appeal his case. It’d happened a few times, but it was pointless. The evidence against him was stacked, despite what that monster did his sister. There was no getting out of here until he finished his time, and that was that…

And maybe he’d get lucky and be paroled when the whole fourteen years was finally over. Until he’d keep keeping his head down, rely on his charm, and bite his tongue as much as he was capable — he could do better. He knew he could’ve had it harder, he knew he’d gotten lucky being sent to the Isle of Man. 

Still, it wasn’t easy…but at least he had Seb’s letters. 

Even when they broke his already shattered heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Robert felt eyes on him as he made his way over to the exercise bike in the small gym area the prison had for the inmates. It was the same old song, there were always a handful of inmates who hated him. It was either his cleverness, his smart mouth, or they found about his sexuality. He never had as bad as Aaron had with Jason, but there were a few times it came close or felt like it might. There wasn't much he could do about besides try to keep his trap shut and just deal with some rough handling. He'd learned to give it back, though, and he wasn't small, he could use his size to his advantage and his anger. 

But anger had always been a piece of him. The angry teenager he was turned into an angry man — it was only Aaron who softened those edges, it'd been uncomfortable easy to fall back into it. To use it again as a shield and a defense. But it never felt quite as easy, it always chafed, but it was a way to stay as safe as he could manage. 

He was in prison, after all. He swung onto the bike, he liked to do thirty or so minutes a day, it kept him fit, made him feel less like he was wasting away — he knew he'd never been skinnier. It was hard to fill up on prison food, he missed real food, he missed his sister's and Marlon's cooking.

He missed Aaron's fry ups. 

He got a look at who was around, and it was a newer inmate. Barney, he thought his name was…he was bulky guy, with beady eyes and always seemed to be shaking. Robert guessed it was withdrawal of some sort — or maybe he was just twitchy. It seemed he'd taken an immediate dislike to Robert. Hate at first sight, or something. He'd already gotten in Robert's face a few times, spouting typical homophobic crap, as he looked Robert up and down. He was almost positive Barney was in the closet, repressed and angry — and probably why he was in jail for beating on his wife one too many times. It made Robert sick, it twisted his stomach, but there wasn't a thing he could do about it. 

He wanted to stay out of trouble. He kept his head down, and his reputation with the prison was in good standing — which meant the better he was the more freedoms he had… So, he looked away quickly, literally put his head down, and just started to cycle on the exercise bike. 

"Heard you're playing Professor again," a voice came up from behind him. 

It was Johnny… A bald and stout man with a red beard and tattoos everywhere. He wasn't a bad sort at all, was in for felony burglary and an assault charge. He was friendly, or was friendly-ish, as Robert thought of it. No one was really friendly in prison. They acted like mates, they pretended they were friends… It was an arrangement of sorts in Robert's mind. He'd helped Johnny out a time or two, and Johnny helped him out. It went back and forth, back and forth. And now years later — they were mates, though Robert never really would think of him like that. Because it wasn't like they'd ever spoken outside of a prison, they'd have never met outside of the prison walls. The only thing they had in common was fatherhood, but Johnny got to see his kids and his wife… They came to visit them often, and it would set jealousy churning in Robert's gut, despite the fact he knew his lack of visitors was all his own doing. 

"Yeah. Taylor's wife had her baby, according to Stan," Robert muttered, answering the question. Stan was his guard, they all had their own guards — sometimes he thought the Isle of Man sounded fictional, every inmate having one guard, classes and therapies and a lot of time outside of their cells — cells they never had to share with another soul. "So, yeah, they asked me to do the class."

"How'd you get so smart in maths anyway?"

Robert shrugged. Numbers had always been easy for him, and for years he never questioned it, though he had used it to give himself a leg up in business. It'd been his gift with numbers that got him noticed by Lawrence, that had helped him prove his worth as a partner to Jimmy and Nicola when he first paid his way into the Haulage firm… He knew he still got money from it, in an account he had but never tapped into except to send Seb presents on his birthday and Christmas. He guessed it was doing fine, he'd offered through his solicitor to sell them his shares. Yet they never did… He assumed it was mostly Jimmy. It was a tiny part of home, he saw in the shape of a pound figure. He sighed and remembered when he really realized his skills in maths. 

It'd been Liv. She'd needed help with maths, and he'd found it fun and interesting to show her how to solve the problems. To watch her figure it out herself with his guidance. He missed her, her gob, and her snark at the ridiculous word problems he used to read aloud to her. The first time he stood up to teach a bunch inmate some maths, he kept seeing her face in the back row, just as grumpy as the inmates but reminding him of Aaron. He felt it now, again, just one thought, and he was off wondering… 

How she was, she was a young woman now, out of her teens, had she gone to university, she was always bright enough for it — even if she hadn't seen it in herself. He'd wanted that for her, to help her, to push her because no one had ever done it for him. He wondered if she was happy, if she had anyone in her life who accepted her for who she was — who was worthy of her. He tried to remember the last time Seb mentioned and her and thought he should skim through his letters to find it. 

He missed her. 

"Where are you," Johnny asked, breaking into his thoughts. 

"Nowhere," he lied. "I'm just good numbers," he mumbled, finally answering the question. 

"If I can do some accounting when I get out here, the wife is going to adopt you into our family, mate."

Robert snorted.

"Only get it when you're up there… So, guess it's you for the foreseeable."

"Guess so… until the class is finished."

"Always another one… them and their therapeutic therapies."

Robert snorted again. 

"That one is squirrelly, thought," Johnny muttered his head minutely cocked toward Barney.

Robert minutely nodded in return.

"You do best to steer clear…think he's got a crush on ya."

That made something shudder down Robert's spine. "Yeah…" he glanced over quickly. "I can handle it."

"Not as tough as you think, mate… but I've got an eye out."

Robert nodded, played the part of them being mates, and feeling somewhat thankful they did have an arrangement that had someone who had his back — as long as Robert has his back too. Barney could be trouble, so it was a bit of a comfort that there was someone else who saw it and would keep an eye out. He hated depending on other people though, especially here — but he was here, so he didn't have much of a choice. Especially when someone like Barney kept giving him the evil eye… 

It was all game, they all played to survive. 

"My girls sent me pictures of their dance recital…" Johnny said, going on like he hadn't pointed out anything at all. He produced some pictures from his uniform pockets and started going on about his family. 

Robert glanced at them, nodded along, played nice, and thought about Seb. He wondered if he was coping better with the changes to his life. He felt a stab in his heart as thought about Aaron marrying someone else — saying the same vows they promised each other, twice, to another man. They were leaving the Mill — that almost made him feel better, the thought that at least Aaron wouldn't be raising a family in their home with someone else. 

He'd told Seb it was all alright, but it was far from it, he'd wanted to tell his son to raise hell — he would've as a kid he knew, but he couldn't do that, he'd swore to always do what was right by Seb. Giving him to Bex, cutting himself out his life, making sure Aaron got custody when Bex died… via his solicitor, of course. He hated Seb had lost them both, that wasn't the way it was meant to be. But he'd always have Aaron. 

At least one of them did. 

He finished up on the bike and went off to head back to his cell. He wanted some quiet before he taught the maths class the prison was offering. It wasn't really his idea of fun, though it would stave off boredom. And he was good at it — which always been something he enjoyed. Being good at something and being noticed for it…

Not that he really wanted the attention of his fellow inmates. 

As he past Barney, he felt his beady eyes stare at him, it felt cold , and it followed him until he turned a corner. It was ice being spilled down his back, and all the instincts he'd built up in the past seven years were screaming at him to lay low, keep his head down, and be careful about the man. 

~~~

Aaron walked into the Woolpack and glanced toward the bar. Dennis wasn't in sight, so he shrugged and scanned the room for somewhere to sit. He spotted Vic in the corner trying to feed Robbie — her son, all blonde and green-eyed and very much a Sugden. It made something twist in Aaron's gut, but he walked over there to watch Vic sigh and give up, making him eat his broccoli. He smiled at Aaron, chewing on some chips with his mouth wide open.

"Chew with a closed mouth, Robbie," Vic said with a yawn. 

"Tired?"

"He spent all night coughing, he managed to sleep, I didn't…" she messed up his hair.

"Know the feeling," Aaron smiled and thought about long nights worrying about Seb when he had a fever or a cough. He leaned back in a chair and stole a chip, making Robbie giggle. 

"I think Dennis ran off on some errand for Charity."

Aaron shrugged. "Can catch up with him later..." He frowned, remembering he did have something to tell him. "Might have an offer on the Mill."

"Already? Sign just went up today."

"Someone was passing through, she was a bit nosy but seemed interested…I hope she meant it, I want it done."

Vic looked at him. "You know, you don't have to move to those impersonal Tate flats."

"We need a fresh start," Aaron said.

"But you love the Mill and…" she sighed.

Aaron knew that face, though, he'd seen it in the mirror. "Seb told you he won't move, hasn't he?"

Vic nodded. "He's really upset, Aaron."

"It's the only home he remembers, of course, he is…but this it's for the best, really." 

"You guys could just redecorate," Vic said.

Aaron shook his head. "No. Best, we have our own four walls…"

"You won't miss it?"

Aaron looked away from her and shrugged. He would miss it, but he didn't want too. He didn't want to feel anything for the Mill, because it was just a place. Four walls. It wasn't important, not really, sure he, Seb, and Liv had made it a home for a long time. Since Seb was six, and he showed up on Aaron's doorstep with a woman from social services and the tragic news of Rebecca's death. He hated feeling it was the best day of his life, but in so many ways, it had been… Robert hadn't contested a thing, even agreed to contact Seb — a request Aaron had thought would be ignored, like so many others he'd made in those first seven years. 

At first, he had to read what Robert wrote to his son, but he never mentioned Aaron unless it was in response to something Seb wrote… It was hard to see his handwriting though, to see in words how much he'd missed his son…

It'd been so thankful when Seb turned eight and decided he wanted them private… 

No. The Mill served him well, but he was starting a new chapter, another new chapter — and one with Dennis. They would be making another home, them and Seb, and maybe a dog. It was how it should be. 

"So…" Vic had her fishing tone again.

"What?"

"Going to start looking into surrogacy?"

Aaron made a face. "What? No."

Vic looked surprised. "But Chas… I mean, I… well, really? I thought that'd be the next step for you and Dennis… marriage, home, kids."

"We've got Seb."

"You do, you mean, but…"

"I don't want more kids," Aaron said. 

"But you did…"

Aaron stared at her and shook his head. "That was a long time ago and not what I want now. And not what Dennis wants either."

"Oh…guess I just assumed."

"You're wrong."

"Okay, alright," she said. 

"Hey?" a gruff voice said from behind his head. 

Aaron turned and smiled at his fiance and moved over a bit. Dennis slid into the seat next to him and made a cute face at Robbie as he said hello to Vic. He then found himself looking into warm brown eyes and nodded another hello to him. 

"Wasn't expecting you until later."

"We might have an offer for the Mill."

Dennis' face lit up. "Really?"

Aaron nodded. 

"That was fast."

Aaron shrugged. "Woman saw the sign and wanted a look. She seemed to like it. I told her if she met our price, we'd just sell it to her."

Dennis stared at him. "Just like that?"

"Yeah."

Dennis smiled, but he looked wary.

"What is it?"

"Just don't know, I thought you'd drag our heels a bit more that's all…I know all this wasn't an easy decision, Aaron.."

Aaron frowned at that. "It's for us, innit?"

Dennis gave him a dimpled grin. "I like that…Guess we just have to try to win over Seb, huh?"

"That will take a miracle…" Aaron grumbled. 

"Where is he?" Dennis asked. "I saved him a piece of chocolate cake, I'm not above bribing him."

"Off getting into trouble with Isaac, sure Moira is watching them."

"I'll bring home with me later…" Dennis started to get up when his cellphone went off. He looked at it. "It's the realtor."

Aaron nodded.

"Hello…" Dennis nodded and said yes a few times. "Lace?" he repeated and looked at Aaron.

"That's her," Aaron said. 

"Yes, yes…" Dennis kept nodding. "Seriously?" he asked. 

Aaron felt his heartbeat move to his throat. 

"Yeah, yeah, we'll see you tomorrow and sign everything." 

Aaron felt sick suddenly. 

"You were right? That was a bite, they offered above our selling price — said they had someone do a quick estimate and it was higher than ours. They offered that… I'm not gonna tell them they've offered too much."

Aaron blinked and tried to fight against the sudden unpleasant churning in his stomach. He'd wanted this. He wanted fast. He'd chosen this. He wanted to move. 

"We need to call, Liv, the two of you will need to sign the paperwork tomorrow."

"Yeah… I'll go find her now," Aaron said and got up. He needed air, he needed air and to be alone to find his balance again. 

Dennis kissed his cheek. "See you at home."

"Not for long," Aaron muttered.

Dennis smiled. 

Aaron turned to leave the pub. 

"Aaron?" Vic's voice was right behind him.

He turned to look at her. "I should find Liv," he said, using his excuse.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"What? Yeah, of course…" Aaron turned and found a smiling Dennis charming two women as he poured them wine. "It's a fresh start."

Vic smiled and hugged him. "Okay," she said into his ear.

Aaron hugged her back but backed out of it quickly. "Later…" 

He held it all together until he managed to find a spot where no one could spot him, or would walk past. He leaned against a wall of the building he'd ducked behind — possibly Keepers or Tate's Grocery shop. Aaron felt like the whole world was tilting, and the sky felt too close, he felt closed in on…

Panic slammed into him in a way it hadn't in years. 

He couldn't breathe. 

The Mill was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

His ribs were bruised, his lip was cut, and his cheek was swollen. He shifted in the seat in the visitor's room, wondering why Clive asked to see him and trying to ignore the pain. Barney laid into him out of nowhere, said he hadn't liked his tone — they hadn't been talking. He winced a bit and knew this was going to get worse, the look in Barney's eyes been terrifying as Johnny yanked him off of him. Robert closed his eyes and told himself he could get through it — it was just hard to remember why. 

Clive winced as he caught sight of him as he walked in. He put his briefcase down and shook his head. "Robert…"

"Why are you here?"

"A solicitor has been in contact with me about you."

Robert shrugged, vaguely recalling being told about two attempts to contact from some random solicitor. 

"They want to appeal your case, Robert — said an organization that helps rape victims looked into your case and thinks it has merit."

"I'm not a rape victim."

"What I said, but they said given you were protecting a rape victim, they liked your case. I asked them their strategy, and it's sound, Robert."

"No."

Clive's hand slammed on the table between them. "This is a good idea, Robert."

"I said no," he shook his head. "It's not worth it, I'm guilty."

"There are circumstances…"

Robert shook his head. No, he wouldn't let his hopes be raised. He couldn't do it, he wouldn't. He was going to do his time. He deserved it. He deserved every bloody second of his sentence. Maybe not for that bastard, but the other things he did, the other blood on his hands… 

"You have my answer."

"Look at you," Clive said.

"Just a bit of an altercation, I can handle it."

"You're punishing yourself for no reason."

"No… if that's all."

Clive sighed. 

"Don't waste your time coming here for nothing, Clive."

~~~

Liv tapped her stylus against her tablet and tried to ignore Gabby's stare. It wasn't working, and she sighed and looked up from the drawing she was working on and glared at her best mate.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Why, I'm not going, am I?"

"Why not?" Gabby shook her head.

"Doesn't feel like the right time."

"He's getting married, Liv. He's moving to those dreadful flats, starting a new life… it's the perfect time."

_On paper_, Liv thought, and she looked at the time and felt like everyone was running late. She turned behind her and looked at the door of the cafe, but no one walked inside. Turning back to Gabby, she couldn't help but snort at her friends raised eyebrow. 

"Go on, give me the reason."

"It's a lot of change, innit?" Liv said. 

"It's good though, you've been wanting him to be happy for years Liv, he's happy."

_Is he?_ Liv sighed and tried to tell herself she wasn't being fair, she shouldn't compare things — it was just that, she wasn't sure and wasn't sure she'd ever be sure. It was complicated, and she'd fought with Aaron, she'd pushed him toward Dennis. She felt like she was always pushing him toward chances of being happy. Had it finally worked?

"He's not yours to take care of Liv," Gabby said. "He never was."

"He's my brother."

"I know, and he's raised you, and I get that, but…"

"I just can't, okay… stop pushing."

"Liv… You've been offered a spot in an art seminar at the Louvre."

"SHHH," Liv hissed, spotting Brenda craning her neck. 

Gabby snorted. "Fine, I'm going to work, hold yourself back if you want…"

Liv sighed as Gabby flounced off. It wasn't that, it wasn't that at all, she muttered to herself and decided she didn't want to think, so she went back to her drawing. After a few minutes, the bell to the cafe rang, and Liv looked behind her and hoped for Aaron. It wasn't Aaron, but it was the realtor Kate and a blonde woman in a leather jacket. 

"Liv," Kate smiled and sat across from her. "This is Lace, Lace. This is Liv Flaherty."

Liv smiled politely and offered her hand for a shake. Lace's grip was firm, and she had sharp eyes. Liv swallowed as she looked at her and tried to picture her living in The Mill. It was hard, it felt wrong, someone else in the Mill other than her family. Other than Aaron, Seb, and… Her. 

"Your the sister," Lace smiled.

"Mentioned me, did he?"

"A bit."

"It's really mine, but well, I could use the money…" she said and really wondered if she believed that. She'd offered this. She'd done this for Aaron and Dennis. They were happy and deserved their own places. That was the decision, right? 

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just… don't live there but will miss the place."

"Happy home?"

"Yeah…" Liv trailed off. 

"Good energy for me, then," Lace smiled.

"Suppose that's a way to look at it," Liv said.

"Oh, wow…" Lace was looking at her tablet. "Is that you?"

Liv looked at the unfinished drawing on her table. It wasn't anything special, just a section of Doug's garden she'd been doodling on and off for a while. "Yeah."

"That's brilliant."

Liv shrugged.

"Sorry, we're late," Dennis' voice saved her from having to take a compliment. She turned to look at them and frowned at the look on Aaron's face. He was smiling, he looked presentable, he even looked happy, but something was wrong, something was off in his eyes and his smile. This was being harder on him than he thought it be, she thought — she knew it. She hoped he wouldn't back out. 

That was for the best right?

~~~

The pen felt shaky in his hand, but Aaron pretended it wasn't and signed on the lines the realtor put a red x by and ignored how it didn't quite look his usual signature. He wanted it done, he needed it done — the Mill was sold. It was his choice, their choice — he and Dennis talked it out for weeks, pros and the cons and he'd decided to go for it. He'd decided it was right, and it'd made Dennis smile so bright. It'd been the right decision.

It just felt hard. 

He blinked and muttered something about needing coffee, as he dropped the pen onto the table and made his way up to the counter. He smiled at the young girl behind the counter. Sally, something or other, she was a sweet kid and not at all like Brenda — who still stuck her nose into everything with her opinion attached. He ordered a brew and tried to get his emotions in check before Dennis noticed. This was a happy day for Dennis, for them and Liv was happy with it too… 

They were moving forward to the next chapter. 

"Why are you following me, I told you NO, I said to do one… GO AWAY." 

Aaron spun toward the shouting, it was Vic, and he hadn't heard that tone on her in a long time. It nearly made his blood run cold. He found her by the doors standing with a dark-haired woman who seemed to be sticking a phone into her face. 

"Please. The article is too help other victims with similar bad stories…just a few minutes and a few questions about Lee Posner."

"No, I don't talk about that… it was a long time ago, NO." Vic shouted. 

"But, please, Ms. Sugden…"

"OI," Aaron shouted, and he was by the door and in front of Vic. "She said no, now go, DO ONE."

"This article…"

"Get lost, will ya…" Vic yelled.

"You heard her," Aaron bumped into her as he went to the cafe door and opened it. "Go on, and don't show back up here." 

The woman sighed and left. Aaron stared after her, watching until she got into a car and drove away. Making sure, when he turned back around, Vic was sitting next to Liv looking like she was trying to catch her breath. He hurried over and sat across from her. "Vic?"

"I… just shocked me, all out of the blue and kept on and on…" Vic shook her head. "This is ridiculous," she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"It's not," Liv said. "She should've listened."

Aaron nodded. "She won't come back if she knows what's good for her." 

Vic nodded. "I'm alright, I will be… was just a shock, I thought… I even thought his name in years and now…"

"It'll be alright," Dennis said and put a hand on Aaron's shoulder, making Aaron realize he was shaking. "Why don't you come for tea tonight, Vic? We'll keep your mind off things."

Vic smiled. "That'd be nice…" she noticed the papers in Dennis' hands. "Is that… the Mill is sold?"

"Yeah," Dennis smiled. "To that lovely woman over there."

Aaron followed Dennis' hand to wear Lace was sitting, her copy of the paperwork on a table as she looked down at her phone. She didn't look too happy, he thought idly and felt an odd hope she was having second thoughts. 

"I wanna meet her," Vic said with a sniff. She stood up and straightened her posture. 

Aaron wondered why that was necessary. 

"I'll introduce you, give me one second," Dennis said, and he squeezed Aaron's shoulder harder and dropped down a bit to look him in the eye. "You alright? You went about as white as Vic?"

Aaron shrugged. "Don't like people upsetting family, I'm good."

Dennis looked like he didn't quite believe him, but he nodded. "Okay… we'll have to sit Seb down soon."

Aaron sighed at that. "Going to go introduce Vic and Lace."

"Fine…" Aaron said and thought he wasn't really looking to make Lace a friend… She was just going to be the person who took his home — no, he sighed at himself. No, it wasn't that…

It was a new chapter. 

~~~

_Seb,_

_Hey Kiddo… It's alright to upset about the changes that will be happening now your dad is marrying Dennis. I know it's hard to lose a home, but it's not the building that makes one, I promise. It'll be your dad, he'll keep you safe and loved and warm and feed. Always. Seb. He'll love you no matter where you live…_

Seb frowned as he reread the first paragraph of his dad's letter. He'd really hoped he be on his side — he almost always was, but he was siding with them. Why? It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. He crumpled the letter up and threw it on the floor. Then he stomped out of the house and started to run and run with no destination in mind.


	4. Chapter 4

He ended up sitting in the gazebo, his mind scrambling to not think about why for more than a second at a time. Which meant he was barely thinking at all, he was just a myriad of emotions. None of them good and the guilt about that was curling around him, and he needed to shove it all away. He sighed and slumped on the bench and looked up. Looked up at the ceiling of the gazebo — which he never noticed before. At least it was new, a different perspective, and he shoved away the bright memories that came with a different kind of tears. He wiped at his eyes and scowled at himself. 

It was just a house. 

_You built us a home._

It was just a house. 

Maybe someday he’d believe it. 

Footsteps made him sit up, and Liv was standing just outside the shelter of the gazebo, that worried look on her face that resembled his mum too much. It always made him want to shrink in and apologize, even when he didn’t feel the words that made his way to his lips. He knew she meant well, always, and he loved her, but sometimes he hated the worry, the concern, the fear in their eyes he might fall apart. He’d held it together for years now… 

“Maybe you could undo it…” Liv said.

He stared at her. 

“We could, right?” 

He shook his head. 

Liv sighed. “I didn’t…” she stepped into the gazebo and sat down next to him. “I didn’t think it’d hurt me.”

“If you didn’t…”

“I do, I did… too late now. But…” she trailed off. 

Aaron sighed. 

“It was our home,” Liv smiled sadly. “It was happy, and now the new place will be too, for you, Seb and Dennis.”

_Robert._ A piece of him would always expect Robert to be the rest of that sentence, and it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right. It hurt, and it made him angry. This time the anger rose up more, and he hated Robert — hated him for making choices for Aaron, for his family, for shoving everyone away. He hated Robert for his impulse and his ruthlessness when it came to the people he hated when he wanted to lash out that people that hurt him… Or the people he loved. It stung, the anger, and it hurt as much as the first second he realized he’d lost him — that Robert had ended them without ever asking him what he wanted. 

“Yeah,” he said to Liv and shook his head. “Dennis, me, Seb, all new memories, right?”

Liv nodded. “He’s good for you.”

Maybe he was… he could make him smile, he was warm and loving. They worked together, somehow, Aaron wasn’t really sure why. It was simple, though, wasn’t it, and that made it easy. It was low key, it would be a good life, and he would be loved. And he loved him, he did, it was just different. That was all. That wasn’t good or bad, really. Nothing was ever the same, he’d loved Jackson too, and it’d been different from Robert.  


“How are you going to tell, Seb?”

Aaron sighed. “He’ll kick up, just… ride through the storm, make sure he knows I love him.”

“Me too, I’ll keep an eye on him for ya.”

Aaron wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

Liv sighed and snuggled in, and Aaron knew he was lucky, but for some reason, it stung, and a stab of guilt pressed into him. A memory flashed in his mind of teary green eyes and a brilliant smile, maroon tie, and hands pressed against his face. He could feel them, large and warm, cradling his face now — he could still feel them and guilt churned in his gut. Layers of it that couldn’t begin to understand. And fear made him shove it away because he couldn’t, he wouldn’t, he needed to focus on now. 

He’d seen a different future that day, a different life and maybe he would never stop grieving it, maybe stopping just wasn’t possible. But he had a good life, maybe it was unforeseen, but it wasn’t awful. He wasn’t unhappy, he wasn’t walking around with a feeling of rage at all times any longer. He’d found some kind of contentment. This was just… A change and it was hard, it was big, and maybe it was all right that he was feeling pain and sadness at it. Maybe he didn’t need to feel the guilt so hard. 

“It’s raining,” Liv said. 

Aaron nodded as he watched the rain hit the ground. 

~~~

Aaron stepped into Woolpack about twenty minutes later and wiped the rain off his shoulders as he made his way up to the bar. Smiling as he caught Dennis laughing at something Tracy had said to him while she was picking up her drink. She gave him a smile of hello, and he nodded back before sitting down and nodding at his fiancé. 

Dennis grinned at him and pulled him a pint. He sat it down and gave him a bit of a head tilt. “Are you alright?”

Aaron nodded.

“I’ll get it if your not…” Dennis said. 

Aaron shook his head. “I’m good, really. I know this is a good change for us, we’ll have our home together.”

“And Seb,” Dennis said with a smile.

Aaron sighed at that. “We need to talk about how we’re going to tell him.”

“You want me there?”

“It’s important, ain’t it?” Aaron asked.

Dennis nodded. 

“I just, it’s important, yeah.”

“I want to be a good stepdad for him, Aaron, I do.”

“I know,” Aaron smiled.

“We have a few weeks before we need to leave the house, so maybe that will help us help him get used to it. Not rush all our stuff to the new place at once, at least what we’re taking.”

Aaron nodded. “New furniture arrive yet?”

“It’s coming tomorrow, at the flat.”

“I’ll be there after my scrap meeting.” 

Dennis frowned. “You prepared for that?”

Aaron shrugged. “Kim Tate isn’t going to mess with my business, any more than she’s going to get her hands on this pub…”

Dennis nodded, but he looked worried. “It’s just… she’s managed to get her hands every business but this pub and the scrapyard.”

Aaron frowned because it was true, Kim over the years, lied, manipulated, and taken advantage of nearly every Emmerdale business. His family were the only hold outs, and the truth was the pub was just scraping by, due to Kim opening another pub closer to her the flats Aaron was going to move into. He nearly put his foot down, but the problem was he wanted to stay in Emmerdale, and that was the only option — sometimes, you had to give in. But he wouldn’t let her take over his business, though, he was proud of Holey Scrap. Amazed with himself for keeping it going and solvent for so long. He wasn’t going to let her steal it away so she could knock it down to do who knew what with the land.

“Go sit, I can take a break in five, yeah?” Dennis winked at him.

Aaron grinned. “I’ll be here.”

~~~ 

When the rain started, Seb felt a fresh set of tears fall from his eyes. It felt like vindication like the world was matching the storm that was inside him. He ducked his head down and just kept walking. He wasn’t sure what he wanted or where he was going, all he knew was he was so angry, and he hurt and no one around him understood that he couldn’t leave his home.

It was his home. It was where he found out he could smile again after losing his mum, it was when he had gotten Da back… He’d missed him so much for a few years when his mum wouldn’t let him see him. He wished he could’ve kept both of them, he wished he’d gotten his Dad back too. Or more, at least he’d gotten letters and understanding.

Until today.

He should’ve been on his side. It was his home too. He built it, Da had told him how Robert built it for them — he told him the story over and over again when he’d first come to live with him. When he’d been crying about his mum and missing another bedroom. He couldn’t remember that room now, but that was because his room now was his real home. It was his dads’ home and wasn’t that where he was meant to be… 

Somewhere that was all of his family. It didn’t have much of his Dad, just letters and old pictures, of times he couldn’t remember. He’d look at himself as a baby and wonder if it was really him. If you couldn’t remember something, was it real? Did it happen, did his Dad really hold him so tight and look at him the same way Da did all the time. Like he was worth the world?

Seb sniffled and shivered, and he wrapped his arms around his chest. He was getting soaked through, his feet were starting to hurt, and he was starting to get afraid, and his anger hadn’t abated, but doubts were creeping in. Maybe he shouldn’t have run, maybe he should go back…

But that meant he might Da might not see, might not see just how much he hated everything. That he didn’t want to move, he didn’t want a new house, there could be no new home. Why couldn’t they all just stay in the Mill? So, he kept walking, head bent against the rain, and ignored how the wind was picking up, and he was getting colder and colder. 

A car honking behind him made him jump, then it was pulling to the side of the road in front of him. He stopped walking and stared at it, confused, he didn’t recognize it at least. A least no Dingle had stumbled onto him, but he wasn’t sure what to do with this… 

A woman got out of it, she had dark hair, and she gave him a worried look. “You’re freezing, do you need a ride somewhere?”

“No.”

“You’re soaking, you’ll get a cold…”

“I’m not getting in a car with you, I don’t know you.”

“I’m Rebecca… I’m a reporter, what is your name.”

He blinked at her. 

“I promise I just want to help.”

“My mum’s name was Rebecca.”

“Okay, what is your name?”

“Seb… Sebastian White.”

“Okay, well, please get in my car, you’ll get sick, Sebastian White.” 

He sighed and looked behind him. He felt tired and confused, and his anger was starting to make him feel numb and stupid. Maybe he’d made a mistake. He stared at her again. 

“Please, let me help you?”

He nodded and ducked into her car.

She got in and pushed some buttons, moved some vents. “I wish I had a towel. Now, how about you tell me where you live, and I take you home?”

He shook his head. 

“Why not?”

“Why should I go to a place their gonna take away?” he muttered. 

~~~

Aaron frowned as he walked up to the Mill, the outer door was wide open, and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He hurried forward and saw his door wide open as well. He hurried inside and looked around and noticed that nothing seemed out of place. But his stomach churned when he saw Seb’s book bag by the bottom of the stairs. 

“Seb?” he yelled, starting to come up with the scenario his son just forgotten to close all the doors. “Seb?” 

Nothing.

He picked up the book bag and looked around. Then he saw a torn envelope on the table. He walked over and picked it up. Robert’s handwriting on the front. His letter had come, and the hair on the back of Aaron’s neck rose higher. He looked around and shouted for Seb again. 

“SEB, SEB…” then he saw it, a crumpled piece of paper by the door. He picked it up, his insides doing things out of worry, out of having to read Robert’s words… 

It told him all he needed to know. Seb had gotten upset and run out of the house. He hurried back out, suddenly worried about the rain, and yelled for him. “SEB….SEB….” But he was nowhere and who knew what his head start could be. He grabbed his phone and called the first person who popped into his head to help him.

“Cain, yeah… Seb’s missing.”


	5. Chapter 5

"I really need to take you home, Seb," Rebecca said, though he could barely hear, she was rummaging for something in her back seat. He stayed quiet because he knew he really couldn't argue with her. He wanted too. He wanted to go back into the rain and keep stomping away from everything he didn't like. He knew he was crying and was happy his face was wet from the rain cause maybe the lady with his mum's name didn't know. 

"Ah ha," he heard, and she was sitting straight in the driver's seat again and handing him what looked like a winter scarf. "I know it's not actually a towel, but please try to dry your hair, at least."

He shrugged but did it, mostly because he was cold despite the heat she had blasting at him. His clothes were wet, his shoes were wet, all of him was wet -- he almost liked it. Fit his mood. But it wasn't all that comfortable. 

"You're from Emmerdale, I'm guessing, not a hard one, it's the only choice for around here."

He shrugged. 

She sighed and opened her mouth, but the ring of a phone cut her off. She opened her purse and pulled it out, looked at the caller idea, and shook her head. "Keep drying our head, I have to take this... Hello?"

Seb shrugged again and attempted to dry his hair with the knitted scarf. 

"I know...I know..." Rebecca sounded defensive. "I screwed up, I know, I didn't mean... You're right, you are...but..." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Listen!" she snapped. 

Seb couldn't help but look at her, she sounded fed up and boy he could understand that. 

"I have a little boy in my car..." She said a beat later. 

"I'm not little," he snapped.

She glanced at him. "I have a boy in my car..." 

Seb bit back arguing about being a boy, it wasn't untrue. He just felt like he was still being referred to as a kid. And he wasn't a kid, he wasn't a baby, he was old enough to know things and to know what he wanted. He slumped and pouted in the seat of the car. 

"Yes, I'm... I'm... Yes, yes," she said into the phone. "I'll call you back later, once I'm back in the office." Rebecca tossed her phone into her purse carelessly, and she looked at Seb. "You know, I'm having a day myself."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah?" she sighed. "Things can be frustrating, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I have people who care about me, and I'm willing to bet you do too."

"How do you know? I could be running away from a really bad, bad situation."

"Are you, though?" she asked. 

"IT'S UNFAIR," he shouted. 

"I'm sure it is."

"You do?"

"Sure... But that doesn't mean I'm not obligated to bring you to a parent, Seb."

"But..."

"Or, I have to take you to the police station and tell them I saw you trying to run away."

His eyes went big.

"Which one, Seb?"

"Home," he muttered not because he wanted too, and not even because the police station scared him. But he got a flash of his Da's face if he got a call he was at the police station. He suddenly flashed on how much he was probably worried about him and scared. And he was probably crying, and guilt poured through every inch of him. He crossed his arms across his chest, though, because he was still mad, and everything was really really unfair. 

~~~

"Aaron, stop..."

He kept pacing the length of the Mill and glared at his mother. "My son is gone."

"Cain, Debbie, and Liv are out there looking, we're here in case he comes home... We'll find him."

"What if we don't? What if he's hurt, or too far away, somewhere they can't find... What if I've lost him."

"Stop thinking the worst, hey..." Chas got up and grabbed him by the shoulders. "He's nine years old, he couldn't have gone far, sweetheart. They'll find him, and no one's taken him, there is no reason to think he's physically hurt. He's just upset about the move."

Aaron swallowed the sob in his throat and shrugged out of his mum's touch to wipe at his eyes. "I know, I know... Haven't even told him it's sold yet, that it's done... He still thinks he can change my mind. This is him trying to hurt me into it..."

"Aaron, I doubt he's thinking about what he's doing."

Aaron snorted. "I know my kid, mum..." He smiled, though, because he did, he knew his kid. 

"Then he'll be home, because he loves you so much, Aaron. He can't stay away."

Aaron chewed on his lip and started pacing again, stopping only when the door the burst open, but he sighed, disappointed when it was only Dennis.

"I just ran into Moira, who told me about Seb..." He said, staring at Aaron. "Why didn't you call me?"

Aaron shook his head. "I had to get the family looking... I wasn't hoping he'd be found by now..." 

Dennis stared at him with a bit of an odd expression, then grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Alright, who is looking? Do you know where maybe I can try some other possible places? He couldn't have gone far? Why did he run off?"

"The move, innit."

"Did you tell him?"

"No, he was gone already when I got home... I found this..." He pulled the letter from Robert out of his pocket. 

Dennis took and glanced at the words. "Guess, he wasn't too happy he wasn't getting told he could stay..."

Aaron scowled at him, because that was obvious, of course, that was what happened. "You think," he snapped and stared at the door again, fear and worry all he could focus on. Where might he have gone? The family looked in all the obvious places. Liv took off to a few of Seb's favorite places, a few hiding places they knew about -- there were ones they didn't. Seb liked to disappear with his books, and Aaron felt like a fool now for allowing it. What if something horrible happened while he was racing away from him? He knew he was right, Seb wanted to hurt him back, he was so much like Robert, really. It was instinctual when he hurt, he wanted others to feel that sting too. 

It was working. 

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking..." Dennis' voice sounded distant, but Aaron looked up at him. "Aaron' they'll find him," he assured and squeezed his hand. "I'll make some tea."

"'Cause tea makes little boys appear." Aaron rolled his eyes and ignored the guilt he felt for taking it out on Dennis.

"Aaron," Chas snapped.

"It's alright, Chas..." Dennis muttered and went into the kitchen.

"Aaron, he'll..." The door buzzer went off. 

Hope swirled in his chest, and Aaron raced to answer it with his heart in his throat, praying it wasn't the police with horrible news. "Hello?"

"Um, I have your son..."

He didn't bother buzzing them in, he just flew to the other door and swung it open and grabbed his son into a hard hug, holding him as tight as possible and hating how wet he felt -- how long had he been in the rain. He was going to catch a cold. He squeezed him and ignored how stiff he felt in his arms, but it didn't last because then he was being hugged back. And he felt something slot back into place. 

His son was safe. 

He let go only far enough to look Seb in the eyes, he dropped down to his level and shook his head. "You scared me."

"I know," the little boy muttered.

"You wanted too?"

"Maybe," he muttered, but he looked guilty. 

"We'll talk about this later, but first, I want you to right inside and take a warm shower and put on some dry clothes?"

Seb nodded.

Aaron yanked him into another hug before really letting him go, yelling after him. "Shower and change, then right downstairs, Seb."

Seb just disappeared in the house. 

That was when he stood up and looked at who had brought him home, and his eyes instantly narrowed. The reporter who had gotten into Vic's face was standing right in front of him. He scowled. 

"I didn't realize it'd be you... That you would be his father," she muttered, and she had the decency to look guilty. "I swear, I really didn't mean to upset Ms. Sugden."

"You did."

"I know... I went around it all wrong. I should have started with that. I'm writing a piece of this organization that helps victims like Ms. Sugden..."

"I don't bloody care," he snapped. 

"You're right, you're right... Anyway, I found him walking in the rain, out of town, I tried to dry him off and talked him into letting me bring him home. He seems like a good kid."

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, he is... Thank you," he conceded because he was thankful. "I still think it's best you leave town. Don't go bugging Vic again?"

"I won't..." She nodded and turned around. 

Aaron closed the door and leaned against it. He felt relieved, but it was only marginal. He was going to have to tell his son the Mill was gone, make the reason he ran away in the first place even worse. He closed his eyes and hated the situation, hated it ever had become an option in his life to leave this place...

"Aaron?" Dennis appeared in front of him. 

Aaron opened his eyes and looked at his kind and worried face. 

"How do I tell him?" he asked. 

Dennis frowned. "We'll do it carefully."

"I need to talk to him alone first."

"Alright."

~~~

Rebecca slipped into her car and shook her head. She hadn't been lying to the kid, she'd had a day. She'd put her foot in with Victoria Sugden, and Aaron Dingle wasn't actually looking at her like she was a hero -- it was just her luck she'd find Sebastian White trying to run away. 

Her phone rang.

She wasn't even surprised at the caller I.D.. "I told you I'd call you when I got to the office."

"Am I known for my patience?" her boss snapped.

"No."

"No. Is he safe, is he back with Aaron?"

"Yes."

"Was he thankful?"

"Not exactly."

"So, there is no way you can get near Vic, then, to find out anything that might help?"

"No."

"Fine, follow another lead on Posner."

"Like what? There are no other leads, the man is dead..."

"You think I've forgotten that?" 

"Of course not."

"Try his family, find out an ex-girlfriend. Just find something, otherwise why the hell do I pay you."

Rebecca sighed. "You seem to be taking this case a bit more personally..."

"I take every care personally."

"But this isn't even a woman. Victoria Sugden is the victim, and she's fine..."

"A man went to jail for killing his sister's rapist, Becca... Find out dirt on Posner and do it now."

"You're holding back something... And if it could give me angle or information I need."

There was a sigh in her ear. 

"Boss?"

"Fine. I know Robert Sugden... Or I knew him. Once. A long time ago. It is more personal."

"Oh."

Another sigh. "That kid, okay?"

"Bit angry, but I think he was happy I took him home."

"Alright, then. Dirt on Posner, Becca."

"Okay," Rebecca hung up and sighed.


	6. Chapter 6

Robert liked to get to the classroom early. He wasn't really a teacher, and he liked the time to go over the lesson plan -- it was a set plan, generic, dull, but he was allowed to mess with it a bit. And he'd look ahead and think it out, and he liked to go over it alone for a bit before the rest of his fellow inmates strolled into the room. Most of them just looking for a different way to be bored for an hour or two... Depending on how long they decided to pay attention and if they'd do the work plans in the provided notebooks. 

He turned the corner and paused. Barney stood in front of the door, shifting on his legs, and looking like he wanted to walk out of his own skin. He was always twitchy like that, and that alone put Robert off of him. The man's mouth twitched into a grin when he spotted Robert, his beady eyes traveling Robert's body and landing on his face. His cheek really...

"You're healing up," Barney said, and it sounded like an accusation. 

Robert refused to step backward, but he wanted too, he swallowed over the lump in his throat and forced his gaze to stay on Barney. Maybe he could talk himself around this -- he didn't glance behind him, knowing no one was following. Stan, his guard, was on a break, he knew Robert liked his alone time before the class and was... Allowing it. It was a perk, Barney hadn't earned too many perks yet... 

Robert wondered where his guard was, it was Tony -- he was bribable, and that didn't bode well. He shrugged and stepped closer, hoping Barney would just let him pass into the classroom. 

"I like your face all marked up..." Barney said and stepped toward Robert. Close enough, he could feel Barney's body heat and smell his awful breath. Robert bit the inside of his cheek and tried for a nonchalant shrug. 

"Did you hear me?" Barney snapped. 

"I heard you..."

"I like you marked up..." Barney's hands came up, hit his chest, and shoved Robert.

"Fuck off," Robert snapped and kept himself standing. 

"No..." Barney snapped. "I don't like you..." 

"You sure about that," Robert snapped and wished he hadn't. 

"Fucking shut up," Barney yelled and shoved him again. "I don't want you forgetting who is in charge here..."

Robert rolled his eyes before he could stop it -- Barney was trying to be the head of the pack, but he was failing. Johnny was rising up to the top, but Barney thought if he could scare off and beat up the right people, he'd end up being in control of things. Robert never cared about the dynamics of the inmates, as long as he was allowed to keep his head down... 

"Look at me."

Robert inwardly sighed, but he met Barney's beady eyes and tried not to look afraid. In a way he wasn't, because this wasn't a shock, this wasn't a surprise, this wasn't even new. The only difference this time was they were alone -- Barney hadn't brought anyone with him, and that was unsettling. But maybe Robert could get out of this... Somehow.

"What do you want?" he asked. 

Barney blinked at him, and his eyes went up and down Robert's body, but then he sneered -- Robert figured more at himself than Robert. 

"Respect," he spat out. 

"Fine," Robert said through gritted teeth. 

Barney stared at him and started to laugh. "Like you, Posh Boy is going to give me respect, like you'd turn on Johnny...."

"Maybe I will give me the right incentive," Robert said, buying time. 

Barney was looking at him again, beady eyes flicking everywhere, and Robert tried to ignore the icy shiver that went down his spine. Then he was being grabbed and pushed against a wall. Barney's look a leer and glare all at once. He crowded into him and opened his mouth. 

But nothing but foul breath came out of it. 

Robert shuddered, and his mind scrambled. 

Barney blinked, and for a split second, Robert saw fear. 

There was only one choice to make because there were two, but only one wouldn't strip him of all dignity. 

"Go on, Barney.... Make your move, give in, you know you want it, a right good dicking..." 

That was all it took. 

Barney started to wail on him with his fists. 

~~~

Aaron sat on the couch, his head in his hands. He felt sick to his stomach, and a bit dizzy, like the world, might slip out from under him and leave him flailing in space. It wasn't a new feeling, it always came with significant changes, and when he had to do and face things and feelings, he'd rather have kept bottled up, or run from. But when Seb was at the center of the problem, running was never an option. 

A weight settled next to him on the couch, and he heard a familiar breath and the clink of two mugs landing on the coffee table. Dennis let another breath and nudged their shoulders together. It was solidarity, and Aaron supposed it was meant to help calm him. It was meant to remind him he wasnt' alone. 

"Your mum's left."

"I know."

"Just wasn't sure if you noticed. But she needed to get back for Eve's bathtime."

"I know," Aaron muttered, though he hadn't a clue why his mum left. He only knew he was relieved he had. 

"So, do we have a game plan?" Dennis asked.

Aaron turned to look at him then, his dark eyes and his beard. He always looked friendly, nice, and it was true. He was nice and friendly, and it was part of the draw -- wasn't it? Dennis gave him a soft smile, it was supportive, and Aaron felt it, and he wanted to turn into it. 

"We'll figure this out."

"No," Aaron mumbled.

Dennis' fell. "Aaron?"

"I mean... He's run off, Dennis and he doesn't even know we sold it... I have to talk with him alone."

"But..."

"Dennis, please? We will talk to him together, about the move and all. But I've got to do this just me and him, alright?"

"We're going to married, Aaron."

Aaron stared at him, blankly, and shook his head. "I know that...but he's upset about losing his home, Dennis. He's run off, and I have to make sure he won't again, and it's just gotta be me and him."

"I just... I want us to be a family, Aaron."

Aaron smiled at that and nodded. "I know. Me too, but let me deal with this alone...first."

"Alright... I'll um, I'll go to the new flat, check on things there, crash on that futon that's in the bedroom."

"Thank you," Aaron said. "I know.."

"It's fine... Seb comes first, I've known that and I... Want that too," Dennis' hand fell on his shoulder, and he squeezed. "We're going to be a family, right?"

"Of course."

"I'll let you do this, then we both talk to him together?"

"Yes... Let me help him figure out a way to start accepting it."

Dennis nodded, leaned forward, and kissed Aaron's cheek. "Call me, alright, let me know how it goes?"

Aaron nodded and watched Dennis leave. 

He breathed out a sigh of relief. 

~~~

Liv watched in horror as Charity started to check glassware at Kim Tate. The fight had started loud and gotten louder and louder. It was about the pub, and it sounded more and more like Kim Tate might be driving them to the brink they would make a deal with her.

A literal blonde devil.

Liv frowned as she watched and thought she should leave, she should just leave Emmerdale and go to Paris and study art. She saw it all in a flash, her and her notebooks as she wandered the streets and tried to get lost and not be trapped in the tourist locations. She wanted it, she was dreaming about it enough that she could pull one up while she was awake. While Charity shouted louder than banshee and glass shattered. 

Chas and Paddy were part of the fray now, Marlon trying to calm everyone down and guilt at leaving them hit, and she thought about getting out of her chair and trying to help Marlon. But she couldn't for some reason. What she did notice was the only other people in the room where Jimmy, Nicola, and the blonde woman -- Lace -- who was buying The Mill. 

Lace caught her eye, and Liv shrugged. Lace walked over to the table Liv was at and sat down. "You picked the right seat for the show, good view, not in range of flying glass..."

Liv laughed despite herself.

"Who are the blonde tornadoes?"

"Charity Dingle and Kim Tate."

"Kim Tate, the one who seems to own some percentage of everything around here?"

"That'd be the one..." Liv sighed. 

"Huh..." She looked back at them again. "I think I don't like her."

"No one does."

"Charity Dingle, so a relation?"

"Sorta," Liv shrugged. "To my brother, but yeah me..."

Lace nodded. 

"Regretting wanting to move here?"

Lace looked back at the fight. "No. I like drama."

"Right place then," Liv said.

"GET OUT," Charity and Chas screamed in unison.

"I will get what I want," Kim shouted as she finally flounced out of the building. 

"I better help with the cleanup," Liv said and got up. 

"I'll help too," Lace said. 

Liv shrugged. 

"Have you talked to Aaron?" Chas was in front of her and offering a broom. 

Liv took it. "He texted me Seb is safe. But no."

Chas sighed. 

"What?"

"I'm just not sure selling was the right choice..." Chas trailed off and looked at Lace. "Um, who are you?"

Lace looked up from where she'd been piling up some glass, using a napkin as a small broom. "I bought your son's house, I think... I thought I'd help with the cleanup."

"Why?"

"Chas?" Liv said.

Chas sighed. "Tired of people sticking their noses in."

Lace cleared her throat. "I'll go over there and help... Charity was it?"

Liv nodded.

Chas smiled politely and turned toward Liv. "I'm not sure you and Aaron should have sold..."

"Yes, we should've, it's for the best Chas... It is, it's just hard. But sometimes hard things are the best things, we have to keep moving forward and staying there wasn't fair on Dennis... Or Aaron."

Chas nodded. "Dennis is good for him."

"He really is, I really like him, he feels like family -- Seb likes him too he's just upset."

"Aaron will get through to him, if anyone can it's him, those two are peas in a pod... He's a great father."

Liv smiled, and Chas returned it, but it faded.

"What?"

"It's this place... Kim might win, we might have to take her money... Or go broke and have her steal this building right out from under us."

Liv shook her head. _See you can't leave._ "We won't let that happen."

"I hope not."

~~~  
Aaron put a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of Seb, along with the chocolate cake Dennis brought home for him and sat down at the table next to him. Seb looked at the offerings and gave Aaron a look. 

"You're trying to trick me."

"It's just chocolate."

"That's from Dennis, isn't it, it's Marlon's double chocolate cake."

Aaron nodded.

Seb glared at the cake. 

Aaron watched him and hoped he'd relent. 

Seb reached for the hot chocolate, but he only curved his hands around it and pulled it closer. Aaron frowned and touched his face. Seb curled away from him. 

"Da..."

"You don't feel cold, are you still cold?"

"A bit... It was rainy."

Aaron sighed and hoped he hadn't caught a cold. "You can't do that, Seb."

"Why not?" Seb bit out. "You're taking this place away, why shouldn't I leave it."

"Seb..." Aaron was at a loss for words. 

"You don't have a good answer," Seb snapped. "That means I'm not wrong."

"Doesn't make you right," Aaron said, but he felt a bit defeated.

Seb stared at him for a bit and turned back to the mug of cocoa and finally took a sip. 

Aaron felt relief. 

"Why isn't he here," Seb asked.

"I wanted to talk to you alone first. Just us."

"Why? I mean he's always going to be around now, anyway. I mean he already is but you two getting all married makes it more, doesn't it...makes him a part of us. It won't be just you and me, will it. He has to be here."

"You're too smart, for your own good, for me..." Aaron sighed. "Had to get his brains, didn't ya..."

Seb smiled because he loved being compared to his father, but then it faltered. "He said, it would be okay, that it was for the best and that it was you that made a home, not the building."

"Your dad said that?" 

Seb nodded. "He said it was you that made a home, and you'd keep me safe and fed and all that..."

Aaron felt a lump form in his throat. "You didn't want him to say that?"

"NO," Seb shouted and sighed. "I don't want to move. I like it here. You told me he made this house for us, for you and Liv and me... I don't have him, and I don't have his things, but this house is him, isn't it, isn't that why told me when I was little?"

Aaron sighed because he had, he'd told Seb story after story about how Robert built the Mill for his family, for the people he loved when he'd been crying his eyes out every night missing Rebecca and his home with his mother. He wanted to create a safe place for Seb, and maybe having Seb back with him brought out the pain of missing Robert all over again -- but it started to heal him too. 

"See, aren't denying it," Seb muttered. 

"I told you all that so you'd feel safe, Seb... You were missing your mom."

Seb frowned. "That lady's name was Rebecca, do you think mum sent her to find me?"

Aaron blinked. 

"She was nice, she said you'd be worried."

"I was, you scared me."

"I know," Seb said, and he looked defiant.

"You can't hurt me into giving you what you want," Aaron said. 

Seb sighed. 

"Or scare me... Look, Dennis and I...we sold it, Seb."  
Seb's eyes went wide. 

"Someone has bought it. We have a few weeks before we have to leave, but..."

"You already gave it away?"

"Sold it."

"You gave it someone else?"

Aaron nodded.

"But..." Seb blinked furiously. 

"Seb, I know it's hard, but we're starting a new life."

"I like our life as it is."

"We aren't going far, it's a new a place for me and Dennis, but you'll always be a part of that, you will always, always come first."

"If I come first, why can't we..."

"We need the fresh start," Aaron said.

"Why?"

"This was..." Aaron sighed and looked around the Mill. There was nothing of Robert on the surfaces or the tables. But he was there in the couch and few of the art pieces that were still on the wall -- the Dinosaur stuff really, because it'd been there for him and Aaron hadn't been able to take it down. But Robert was in the color scheme and the stupid staircase. He sighed. "I'm marrying Dennis." 

"So, that means we have to go somewhere else?"

Aaron nodded. "Sometimes, you have to let things go to move forward."

"What if you don't want too?" Seb asked. 

"It hurts, but it doesn't mean it will hurt forever."

"I like it here."

"I know, but I'll be with you, and your Aunt Liv will be over all the time, just like here. All your stuff will come with us.... Not much will change, just you and me and Dennis will make some memories in a space meant for the three of us."

Seb sighed.

"You like him, don't you?"

"Yeah, I like him..." Seb muttered.

"He knows he can't be your dad, but he cares about you, Seb."

"We'll still have us time, right... Just you and me trips and such?"

"Always," Aaron said quickly. 

"Fine," Seb mumbled and started to pick at the cake. 

Aaron blinked. "Are you sure?" he asked before he could stop it and scolded himself. He shouldn't have given Seb an out, or inadvertent hope they could stay. It felt too simple, too easy, maybe his kid would explode again later... He watched him as he picked at the cake. 

Seb looked at him back, his eyes big, and Aaron could see him thinking, and he saw Robert for a second. So, he reached out and messed up Seb's hair to get his face to screw up in a way that pure Seb, that was a nine-year-old expression looking at him again.

"Da..." He muttered and sighed. "I don't like it. I'm not going to pretend I like it. But as long as we get our time together and he doesn't budge in too much..."

Aaron grinned. "We'll always get our time, Seb. Just you and me. You're my kid, my son, I love ya."

Seb grinned. "I love ya, too."

Aaron smiled and sat back and felt relaxed for the first time in hours. 

~~~

"Alright," the nurse smiled at him, professionally and all teeth. "You no longer have a concussion."

"Yay," he muttered sarcastically and groaned because Barney had beaten the shit out of him, and he felt like mincemeat. He'd felt worse each time he woke up, the problem with becoming more aware. Robert sighed and realized he was probably stuck with the chipper nurse for a while. 

But it was better than having to deal with Barney.

Though that would happen again inevitably, wouldn't it? He sighed and told himself he could handle it, and a smaller voice whispered he deserved it. 

"This means I can let you sleep for more than a few hours at a time," the nurse said, talking about his concussion. 

He nodded.

"Also, the mail came, you have a few letters. If you think you can read them, I" ll leave the light on for a bit longer. It's light's out time but... I doubt you get a chance for word from home much?"

He frowned at her a bit, letters? Had he been out of it longer than he thought if so, Seb was probably worried. "I wasn't out longer..."

"Oh, just a day and a half..." She smiled at him kindly. "They're right there, think you can read?"

"I'll make do."

"Okay, I'll go take a bit of a break, and when I get back, you need to get some real rest."

He nodded and watched her go. Reaching for the letters reminded him that he had broken ribs and was bruised pretty much over all of his body. He sighed, and his face hurt, he was pretty sure Barney tried to break it. He felt swollen and in pain -- but nothing really would stop him from a letter from his son. He grabbed the three letters and let them fall on his chest. 

"Three," he muttered and looked at them confused, and it made worry churn in his gut. The last letter had mentioned moving, this might mean his son wasn't okay, that was in a crisis. And how was he meant to help? He almost shoved them back but couldn't make himself...

He looked at the post dates and frowned when two were dated one day after the other. That was weird. He stared at the envelope and thought something was weird about it, but his head hurt, and he couldn't pinpoint what. He decided to open them order and opened the first letter.

It was about a school trip, had a new picture of Seb with his versions of Isaac, Eve, and his nephew Robbie. Robert stared at the fact Seb used the blonde he used for Robert on his nephew and the same color green he used for their eyes. He sighed and wondered what his nephew was like if he was like Vic, sassy, and spirited. He sighed and read on, the only mention of not wanting to move at the end of the letter. 

But it was subdued. 

The second letter was not. It was an angry scrawl about finding a picture of them being held by some lady and how she was looking in all the rooms and being nosy. She was saying she wanted to buy the house and he hated her and he hated Dennis. 

Robert was thrilled with that last one for a brief second. 

He opened the third letter, expecting more angry shouts, but different paper fell out, and it had adult writing on it. It wasn't Aaron's, it was too neat, it was in cursive. He frowned at it and blinked, the words smaller than his son's penmanship. 

_Robert..._

_You're a hard man to get in touch with. _

_You know if you wanted a rapist dead, you should have called. _

_Though guess how we left things was pretty messy._

_Yeah, I stole your son's letter and copied the envelope. _

_But it was clear he's the only one you'll talk too. _

_And my message was a bit grown up to ask him to help._

_I can get you out, you idiot. _

_You should see my solicitor. _

_If you won't do that..._

_AT LEAST PUT MY NAME ON YOUR VISITOR LIST. _

_If not to help yourself, at least out of curiosity. _

_ By the way -- you came out of the bisexual closet, congrats looks like you got that life you always wanted but pretended you hated... _

_Let me help you get it back. _

_See you._

_I will keep faking letters from Seb if I have too._

__


	7. Chapter 7

Rebecca didn't even flinch as Wendy Posner slammed the door in her face. It hadn't gone well from the start. The woman going on and on about how her poor son was once again being maligned. It'd been a long shot, all the research told them that Wendy Posner never believed her son was a rapist. Rebecca sighed and pulled out her notebook. There were a few friends of his she could try contacting, though she doubted they'd give her anything. Mates of a rapist — she wasn't sure if she'd trust them at all. She turned to start to walk back toward where she'd parked her car when the front door opened behind her. 

"Wait."

She turned and saw Posner's brother standing in the door, baby on his hip. Both he and his wife just watched the whole exchange, in silent horror from what Rebecca could tell. He stepped out of the house and closer to her. She stood still and waited him out.

He cleared his throat. "Did… did he, did he attack you?"

"No," she said. "I've never met him. I work with an organization that helps rape victims."

He shifted the baby on his hip. "Is… Vic alright, you've talked to her?"

"Not really," she said. 

"What is it you want? What you brought up was ages ago and my mum — she's still upset she can't have anything to do with her grandson."

Rebecca couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes. 

"It's hard for her."

"I wouldn't know… But I'm trying to get at the truth. Your brother may be dead, but he hurt people, I think the world should know what he was… so do the people I work with. You believe his victim, don't you, you believe Victoria Sugden?"

Luke nodded. "Look… talk to Stephanie Fowler."

"Who is she?" she asked, scribbling name down on his notebook.

"She was seeing him, right before he died… she never showed up for the funeral, disappeared for a bit. I saw her again a few months ago, and she was… distant when I said hello, couldn't get away fast enough."

"I see." Rebecca curbed a smile, but this was interesting news, to say the least, she thought. It was a new name, a new lead. "Thank you."

Luke shook his head and looked down. "Yeah, well… can you keep my name out of it if you write some article on my brother?"

"Sure," she said before turning to walk away. It was an easy promise, really. She wasn't really a reporter. She climbed into her car and looked at the name Stephanie Fowler — this would make the boss happy, she thought. Especially if the information gathered panned out to be anything. 

~~~

Aaron smiled as Dennis walked into the Mill. He put down the dish he was cleaning in the drying rack and turned toward him and got a familiar kiss on the cheek. Dennis grinned and put his hands on his shoulders and squeezed. 

"How did it go with Seb?"

"Better than I expected, honestly… It's far from alright, though." He sighed and looked toward the staircase, knowing Seb was up in his room, not starting to pack like Aaron requested. "It's just hard on him, you know. This is really the only home he remembers, and he's lost a lot." Aaron chewed on his lip as another spike of worry churned in his gut. He knew they'd made some good steps the night before. He and Seb had really talked, but it was far from sorted. He knew he needed to be realistic about everything — the truth was the move was hard on him, too, but he understood the need for it. He understood why it was for the best, why he needed to leave the Mill and start fresh with Dennis. But it was hard, and fatherhood didn't come with instructions. "I just want to do what's best."

"We will, I promise. He's a great kid," he sighed. "I hate that he and I seemed to have taken some steps backward."

"He likes ya," Aaron said. "I guess it's just easy for him to turn his feelings on ya… though, not like I'm not a target."

"But you're his world," Dennis said. "So, the three of us going to sit down soon? Talk it out a bit more? What's the plan? I thought maybe the three of us could do something today."

"Oh…." Aaron shook his head. "I promised him we'd have a father and son day today."

"What?"

"He's just really scared we won't have us time anymore, and I promised him that would never happen. I thought I'd just take today to prove it to him. Just me and him… Seb needs to see that I mean it when I say he'll always come first."

"Aaron…" Dennis threw his hands up and stepped back a bit, head shaking. He sighed and looked at Aaron, an odd expression in his eyes. 

"Seb needs this," Aaron said, again, confused by Dennis' reaction.

"You just took him away for a weekend, remember. You thought it'd soften the blow of telling him we decided to move... Then, we were going to tell him together about the sell, but you took that back…"

"Yeah, but he ran off, I needed to handle it."

Dennis sighed. "I know, I understand… I do…but…"

"But what?" 

"We've talked about this, Aaron," Dennis stepped closer again, his hands on Aaron's shoulders. "We've talked about this more than once since we decided to get serious… That it needs to be you, me, and him. That Seb is always part of the equation, and I've accepted that. I want that, Aaron. I want us to be a family. And, I get it, I get this is his only home and that it's even hard for you to leave this place — but I can't help it be easier on the both of ya if you keep shutting me out." 

"No…" Aaron shook his head because it wasn't that at all, was it? "I'm not shutting you out… He told me last night he's scared of losing me and I've gotta show him, Dennis. It's just one day."

"It's just… if I'm going to part of his life, it can't always just be the two of ya," Dennis said. 

"It's always the two of us," Aaron snapped, and Dennis' eyes went wide. Aaron felt guilty, but it wasn't overwhelming. "I don't mean, you said it yourself, he's the priority, Dennis."

"I get that, and I love ya for that, you're a great father…"

"I have to show him… He's run off, he's scared about this move, and he needs to see it, that I'll always put him first. I can tell him, but it won't sink in if I don't show it… It's just one day."

"We were going to tell him about the sale together. Today we were going to do things together… I just feel a bit cut out."

"I'm not cutting you out…"

Dennis sighed. 

"We will, alright, the three of us will do things, maybe this weekend we can all do something, but I promised him today would just be us. I have to follow through on that… I won't change our plans."

"He's going to be my stepson, I want him to know he can rely on me," Dennis said.

Something soft settled in Aaron at those words, and he gave Dennis a small smile. "And I'm thankful for that, but right now, he needs just me."

"Of course, he does, but…"

"But what?" Aaron sighed. 

"Aaron…I just need to know we are working together on this.

"Of course, we are."

But Dennis just stared at him.

"Dennis?"

"Maybe I'm just overreacting, I don't know… you aren't saying anything wrong, really — but neither am I. I just… if you don't let me in on these important moments…"

Aaron sighed. "I'm trying to look out for my kid."

"Right. Your kid…" Dennis tone dripped sarcasm.

"What does that mean?"

"We're meant to be a family, Aaron."

"We will be."

Dennis sighed. "You don't see it?"

"What?" Aaron shouted because he was confused, he was lost. He and Dennis had plenty of time to make memories with Seb. Right now Seb needed just him, though — it was just way it was, and he thought Dennis got it, hadn't he already said he got it. "You know, Seb's my first priority."

"Yeah but, I want to know we are too."

Aaron just stared at him.

Dennis stared back. 

There was a knock on the door. 

"I'll get it, I'm leaving," Dennis mumbled and turned around.

Aaron opened his mouth, something telling him to stop him, but he couldn't get a sound to come out. He heard the door open, and Lace's voice and Dennis grumbling something. Then Lace was standing where Dennis had been and was giving Aaron a confused look.

"Maybe I should come back later…" she said.

"No, no… just relationships, right?"

"I wouldn't know, aromantic…" she said.

Aaron blinked at that but then shrugged it off. "Why are are you here?"

"Wanted to take some pictures and some measurements… trying to figure out my plan for the place."

"Oh…" he looked around and tried to imagine the Mill looking different, and he couldn't at all — it made him promise himself he'd never step foot in it again after he left… It needed to stay the same to him, and he felt the loss again. And the pain that came with it and he could barely handle it. And he was asking his son, his nearly ten-year-old son, to learn to handle it. 

He was making the right choice with the father and son day. He almost saw what Dennis was thinking and feeling. He almost got it, he almost felt guilty about hurting him on any level. But he wasn't wrong, he needed to do this today — he needed to show Seb it was always them. That he would always come first, even if that might hurt Dennis a bit — it wasn't like they wouldn't have time to make memories of the three of them. 

They already had some.

They'd have more. 

"Are you alright?"

Aaron nodded, remembering he wasn't alone. "I'm fine."

"If you're sure."

"Yeah, I'm sure…. Go ahead and do what you need. Seb and I are going out soon, so…"

"I can be quick if you're not okay with leaving me alone…"

Aaron shrugged. "I mean, it's technically your home so…" and it was, it belonged to her, and he had a new home. With Dennis and he was being a right arse, wasn't he?

"I don't want to impose," she said. 

"It's not," Aaron said, and he sighed, thinking about Dennis. "I'm just gonna go make a call…" he pulled out his phone and walked outside. He half hoped Dennis might still be in sight, but he wasn't, and he didn't pick up his phone either. Guilt was firmly under his skin now. "Hey, I'm sorry, you've got a point and after today we'll, we'll do what you want, I won't cut you out when it comes to Seb."

~~~

Seb frowned when he found the blonde lady from the other day standing at the bottom of the stairs with a measuring tape. He glared at her until she stopped what she was doing and looked at him.

"Hello, again."

"What're you doing?"

"Just measuring some things... For when I move in."

It was her. They sold the Mill to her? He narrowed his eyes at her more and looked around. He knew he'd heard his dad and Dennis talking — nearly shouting. It'd sounded a bit like a fight, and he'd hoped maybe it was about moving, that maybe it meant that they wouldn't have to leave. But now neither of them were around and she was here. 

"I'm Lace, by the way, and you're Seb?"

He nodded.

"I'm not really going to change it much."

"No?" 

"No… just might get rid of these stairs. They seem like a right death trap," Lace laughed as she looked the spiral staircase up and down.

"Fallen down them a few times," he said. 

"Hurt yourself?"

"No. Da says I bounce."

"You're dad seems great…"

"He's the best. We're going to the movies, and then we're going to get burgers and ice cream for dessert. Just us, just because I asked…" he looked around the Mill. "It's a bribe, though. Because I don't want to move."

"I'll take good care of the place," she said. 

He frowned and wondered why he should care about that? "I just don't…" he sighed.

"What?"

"I don't see why Da marrying Dennis has to change things… everyone is acting like it changes things. They've been together for years, living here, why does a wedding mean things are different?" 

Lace sighed. "I don't really know, not really the marrying kind… but life, it changes, Seb. It always changes, and you just have to try to make good decisions and make the best of it. It's not easy, no lie."

"I don't want to like you, stop being nice," he snapped, renewing his glare at her, realizing he'd stopped.

She laughed. "Go ahead, hate me all you want… better me than your family."

Seb frowned. "You mean Dennis?"

"And your dad."

"I could never hate my Da."

"And Dennis?"

Seb sighed. "He's making us move."

"He just wants to create a home."

Seb frowned and looked around the Mill, and his eyes landed on the picture of Robert, his father, holding him on his shoulders. He felt the loss and confusion he always felt when he saw it, he felt sad and he never really understood it because he got to write to him. He was the only one who got to write to him. 

"Seb?" Lace's voice was soft. 

He stared at the picture. "Someone built this place to be a home."

Her eyes widened, and she followed his stare to the picture. 

"I'm going to find my Da," Seb muttered and finally ran the rest of the way down the stairs and out the door. 

~~~

Stephanie Fowler looked a bit like Victoria Sugden was the first thought Rebecca had when the door opened. She took a deep breath and told herself she needed to handle this better than she did when she tried to talk to Victoria about the situation. 

"Uh, hello?" Stephanie said. 

"Hi, my name is Rebecca Smith… I'm a reporter, and I'm doing a story about how rape victims rarely get justice."

The woman tensed and took a step backward, hand going to the doorknob of her door, it moved a bit toward Rebecca — it was obvious if she didn't play this right she'd get another door slammed in her face. 

"I was wondering if you could help me."

"I don't see how…"

"The focus of my story is on a Mr. Lee Posner. He allegedly raped someone, her brother hit him in the head with a shovel and went to jail for it — it's a bit sensational I know but seems like something that happens a lot. Don't you think the victims get punished more than the person doing the crime…"

"Well, this doesn't have…"

"Luke Posner said you dated his brother, right before he died…"

"We weren't really together…" she muttered. 

Rebecca sighed. "I was just wondering if maybe he ever acted.."

"I want you to go now."

"I just would like to ask a few questions…"

The door slammed in her face. 

She sighed, but she knew enough. There was something here, Stephanie Fowler knew things and was possibly another victim. It was more than they had beforehand. She nodded to herself and turned around, pulling out her cell phone. 

"Boss… I think I may have found another victim."


	8. Chapter 8

It was late when she pulled up in front of Stephanie Fowler's home. The house looked like any other house — they always did. She sat in her car outside of it, though, and looked in through the windows. Past the curtains. There was only one light, and after about twenty minutes, it went out. She frowned, it was after nine o'clock but seemed too early for Stephanie Fowler to go to bed. 

The front door opened a few minutes later. Stephanie Fowler stepping out and opening an umbrella, it was raining, and she started walking down the street. 

She started up her and started to slowly drive down the street behind her. Watched as Stephanie walked head down into the rain, umbrella being blown back. Something determined in her steps. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and hoped this was about Posner. That Rebecca had ruffled this woman's feathers enough that something was about to get kicked up out of the dirt. 

Why else would she be taking a walk in the rain at such a late hour? They both turned a corner, and a cemetery came into sight. Stephanie Fowler stepping off the sidewalk and onto the green of it. She stopped her car and watched her from it. She almost walked completely out of sight but not completely. 

She looked around and found the name of the cemetery and grabbed her tablet from the passenger seat, and opened her file on Lee Posner. She gathered as many details as possible. As always, one never knew what might be helpful. And yep, this was where he was buried…

She nodded to herself. She got out of the car, ducking her own head down against the rain she walked toward Stephanie Fowler, careful to keep quiet, to not let her know she was coming closer and closer. She managed to get close enough to read it, and she rolled her eyes at it saying, Beloved Son. 

Then Stephanie spat on the grave. 

She almost laughed because it was obvious it was what the man buried there deserved. 

"I don't deserve…" Stephanie started talking. "I don't deserve this, I never deserved this… the things I let you, no the things you did to me and laughed about later. I've never once regretted it, never for ONE second do I regret hitting you with that skillet…. I just wish it'd killed you quicker. I just … that woman she had to remind me of you, of your hands on me and you… It makes me sick. She had to remind me that man went down for killing you when… It was probably me. Not that is proof, maybe it was the both of us… I don't care though, you deserve to be rotting here. And I don't deserve to pay for it, do I. I don't deserve to be punished for what you've done…"

"No, Stephanie, you don't."

Stephanie screamed, her hand flying to her chest and turned around. 

"But neither does Robert Sugden."

"Who are you?"

"The person who is going to make sure no one pays for putting THAT in the ground."

~~~

Twenty years, give or take, that was what the maths were telling him. That was forever, wasn't it, that was two decades between people. It was like fourteen years. It felt too long. Endless. Too much time apart and you couldn't back, you just couldn't go back…

You couldn't step backward.

No matter how hard you might want too. He saw Aaron's face, clearly in his mind's eye, his bright blue eyes, and his soft cheeks. That perfect nose. He saw the tears in his eyes, barely contained — he saw the hope in them too, the belief they'd see each other again. 

But they wouldn't.

They couldn't.

Robert couldn't hope. 

But he unfolded the letter. The letter with her handwriting on it. He swallowed and flinched. She'd slammed the door closed, she'd walked away and not looked back. He hadn't even blamed her, a part of him knowing she was right, she was always right. He laughed now, bitterly, as he thought about how it all ended with the White's…

That Seb had come out of that darkness. 

Another thing he'd never deserved. His perfect son. At least he was with the better father. The one he deserved, the one that deserved him. Robert wiped at his face and stared at the writing again. It'd taken a few sentences in, but he recognized it. He'd known her, and she'd known him. She was the first person to see bits and pieces of what he'd shared with Aaron. Not all of it, of course, he could never let anyone in completely until Aaron…

But she had caught glimpses. 

She'd been his friend.

Maybe the only person he could ever truly call a mate. 

But he'd ruined it. 

He ruined it all.

He didn't deserve her forgiveness. If that was what this was? Was it? He stared at the letter, the demands in it, the promises, and he felt something fluttering inside of him that felt like hope. But he couldn't let it bloom, he wouldn't let it grow, he didn't deserve hope. 

"Okay, Sugden, we're sending you back to your cell, today," the always chipper nurse told him. Echoing his thoughts. 

~~~

Aaron handed Dennis a beer. 

Dennis took it. 

Aaron shifted on his feet and sat down next to him. 

Dennis took a long sip from the bottle. 

Aaron knew he needed to make the first move here, but he wasn't sure how to at all. He knew he'd made the right call with Seb. They'd had a great day together, talked some more, and while his son wasn't about to be happy about the move. He was trying to accept it. Maybe he was failing, but Aaron knew he was doing all he could to make sure Seb knew he was loved. He felt tired from it, the exhausting of raising a kid and never knowing if he was getting it right. 

And he sighed as he looked at Dennis because he knew he'd found a man who was willing to help him with that burden. If Aaron would let him? And yeah, maybe Dennis had had a point. But it wasn't simple, but also wasn't fair. 

"I'm sorry."

Dennis sighed. "I don't…"

Aaron sighed himself. 

"I appreciate the apology, but...I don't want you apologizing for loving your kid."

"He's the most important thing in my life," Aaron said.

"I know."

"You're important too," he added.

Dennis smiled. "Same here."

"I don't mean to cut you out, but it's what Seb needed yesterday… I think I think he's closer to accepting it. Maybe he won't until a lot of times past, but I don't think he'll run off again."

Dennis nodded.

"And now, I'd like to work on making him not glare at ya," Aaron laughed.

Dennis smiled. "I'd like that, miss him not minding me being around."

"Thought we could watch on his fav movies, tonight, some hot chocolate, and you could steal some more of Marlon's cake from the pub?"

"Charity will sack me," Dennis laughed.

"But chocolate is the way to my son's heart."

Dennis laughed.

Aaron grinned and felt like this was going better than he'd thought he would. He needed it too, there was something nice and simple about everything between him and Dennis. But it'd felt more complicated lately, and he didn't want that. He needed things to be even and nice… he didn't want to be second-guessing things. The move just caught him more off guard than he'd expected, it'd been harder too…

The loss felt sharp. 

It tugged on him now, and he looked away from his fiancé. 

"Aaron?"

"It's nothing."

"Seb's not the only one still upset, is he?"

Aaron nodded. "I'm sorry …it's just life, innit?"

Dennis wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into him.

Aaron sighed into it and felt thankful Dennis understood.

"We just need to get over the hump, get out of here into the new place…. It'll be easier then, we won't be caught between the two places."   
Aaron nodded. "It'll be good."

"Yeah, you, me, Seb…. Maybe in the future another kid."

Aaron tensed. 

"It'd be great," Dennis went on. "Right? Us, all a family?"

Somehow Aaron nodded. 

~~~

Robert wanted to believe it was in his head that Barney was always watching him. It'd been two days now since his release from the infirmary, and the hair on the back of his neck seemed to be in a permanent state of being on end. He walked toward a table, with a book under his arm and his lunch tray in the other. He sat down next to Johnny, who was playing some card game with a few inmates. 

"Sugden," Johnny said, and others grumbled his name as well. 

Robert just nodded and opened the book to where he left off. It was some cheap thriller that he was barely paying any attention too, but he was using it to try to distract himself. Most of his life was him using tricks to try to distract himself. He started reading, but he felt that stare again, on the back of his neck, and tried to fight it. He tried not to look up. He tried to read the words on the page in front of him and chew on his sandwich, but instead, he just ended up rereading one sentence over and over…

And listening in on the minutia of the card game.

Until it was over.

He sighed at that and looked at his unfinished sandwich and the fact he hadn't flipped the page in what was probably twenty minutes. And he could still feel it, feel Barney's eyes on him. 

Johnny cleared his threat.

Robert looked up from the page he wasn't reading and realized it was just them at the table.

"You need to be careful," Johnny said in a mumble, his eyes darting in the direction Robert knew Barney was at. 

"I know."

"No. Sugden. You need to be careful…" Johnny warned again and then stood up. "He got himself some right hot water, but he's only blaming you for it. He's bad news…"

"I know that."

"Keep your head low, don't irk him."

"Don't plan on it…"

"Yeah, he's twitchy," Johnny sighed, stood up and slapped Robert on the back.

He winced, Johnny's hand hitting bruises that were still unhealed. Robert turned to watch him go, and that was a mistake because he caught sight of Barney, who was looking right him. Barney leered at him and touched his own cheek and then pointed at Robert's face. 

His cheekbone was still swollen. It still ached. He'd been told it was amazing it hadn't been broken. Barney leered at him for another minute before glancing away. Robert hoped he hadn't shown fear in those moments…

He shut his eyes when he turned away and told himself he could ride it out. He'd ridden out others who targeted it, managed to get through it — some of them got bored, some of them proved too violent to be allowed to stay in this prison. 

Barney was probably the latter. 

Another ten minutes later, he managed to finish his lunch. He hadn't wanted too, but he couldn't afford to not eat, and he knew it. He closed the book, given up on it, and thinking he'd go to his cell and read through Seb's letters. They were the best reading he had, and he needed something bright. He was feeling hollow, and the emptiness could get to him. Make him lash out, and if did that, he'd antagonize Barney. He'd do it on purpose if he let himself fall too far down the hole he felt threatening to swallow him. 

He couldn't make it worse.

He kept his head down as he had to walk in the direction Barney was in.

He walked past him. 

Stan, his guard, glanced at him as he walked by and nodded, but went back to the conversation with another guard. Robert didn't think much about it. He knew Stan knew where he was going — that was the only thing that needed to be understood. He slipped out of the room and into the hallway. 

A minute or so later, he heard heavy footsteps behind him.

He turned around, and there was Barney.

He froze.

Barney laughed and crowded into him, pushed him into the wall, and looked at him. 

Robert forced himself to keep eye contact. 

"Been thinking, Sugden…" he said.

"Don't hurt your head?" he wished he could keep these things quiet. 

Barney sneered. "Might take you up on that offer."

Robert stared at him.

"For that dicking…feeling rather antsy," Barney touched his cheek with his hand, pressing into the swollen wound. "Might do the trick."

Robert gritted his teeth.

"Hey, back apart, now…" Stan's voice carried down the hall. 

Barney stepped back, hands in the air. "Was just chatting."

"Get back to the community room, now Wilder." 

Barney snickered and walked away. 

Robert slumped against the wall.

Stan looked him over and shook his head. "Want to report anything?"

"No," Robert said.

Stan gave him a look.

"No," he said again.

Stan sighed. "Let me help you?"

"You know I can't do that," he muttered. 

Stan nodded.

Robert started heading for his cell, Stan behind him. His heart started to hammer in his chest, Barney's threats buzzing in his head. His throat was dry, and this was worse, worse than ever before — he believed the threat. 

He stepped into his cell. 

"Alright, Sugden?"

"I… I need to put a name on my visitor's list."

Stan stared at him, surprised. "Alright, who?"

"Uh…" he trailed off, second-guessing himself. Should he? He deserved this, he deserved to be here. Maybe he deserved what Barney was…. He shuddered though, he couldn't do it. He couldn't handle that. He wasn't that strong. 

The chances of him getting out were… impossible. But if anyone could, if someone could manage the connections and possibilities to do it. It'd be her. 

"Sugden? The name."

"Lace."

"Lace? First or last?"

"It's just Lace."


	9. Chapter 9

Lace put two cups of tea down on the kitchen table and sat down across from Stephanie. The woman looked pale, and she was shaking. Lace was positive it wasn't from being in the rain. It was more about being faced with a stranger, a stranger who knew her two darkest secrets. But Lace was used to knowing women's secrets by now…

She thrived on it, and she thrived on getting them what the needed to survive them. She pushed one of the teacups closer to Stephanie. "We really need to chat," she said. 

Stephanie stared at her big hazel eyes and Lace shivered — Rebecca been correct, she looked a bit too much like Victoria Sugden. She couldn't help but think Victoria probably looked like someone else. It was always the way, though wasn't it with the sick and the perverted. She felt her stomach churn, and she shook herself mentally. She needed to stay focused, not get angry. 

"Who are you?"

"I told you."

"I don't understand."

"Lee Posner, he raped you?"

Stephanie paled further and looked away. 

"It was a skillet?" Lace asked. 

"Oh god, you did hear me…" Stephanie gasped, and tears rolled down her face. 

"Is it still here?" Lace asked.

Stephanie stared at her. 

"Is it?"

"I don't cook my eggs with it, no…" she spat out. "Who are you?"

"So, it is here?" she asked. 

"Well, yes…but… I don't understand."

"I need it."

"What for?"

"Forensics," Lace shrugged. 

"You're going to turn me in?"

"No, I'm not going to turn you in."

"I don't…" Stephanie stared at her. 

Lace sighed and offered a smile. "Look, I have this hobby."

"Hobby?"

"I help women who've been in abusive situations. All sorts of things, really. Teach them how to fight, help them get some money together so they can disappear. Keep them out of jail if they finally can't stand it anymore, fight back, and then find themselves in the back seat of a cop car. When it's not them, who should be there at all."

"I took care of it. It's over."

"For you," Lace said. "It's over for you. A man is in prison for killing Lee Posner, and I just found out it may have been your skillet that really finally drove him into the ground."

"I can't go to jail, I can't… I'm engaged, I met a real man, and I'm happy."

"And I won't destroy that, but I'm going to need your help getting Robert Sugden out of prison."

"How will I not get in trouble."

"Simple, my solicitor is expensive."

Stephanie blinked at her. 

"I'm still sorta getting used to that myself… also that I found a somewhat honest man — you don't want a too honest solicitor, by the way. But anyway, he is willing to take on tough cases and is pretty bloody good at winning them too. I've gotten three women out of jail for killing their abusers in the last two years. I want Robert Sugden to the fourth — well man, not woman, but you get my meaning." 

"Who are you?"

"See my mother, my father used to beat her, and he treated me terribly too. Him and all of his family — not one of them were good people. My mother died at his hands, but it was never provable. They covered for him, and I… ran away. And I swore no man would hurt me, and I saw worse happening to other people, and I decided — I'd help."

"I don't need help. I took care of it."

"And I'm impressed, Stephanie, I am. But Robert Sugden…"

"Why should care about that man, I don't know him. He could be just as bad as…" 

"You shouldn't, you have no reason too… But he's nothing like Posner. I mean sure he's ruthless and he can hurl some verbal abuse if he wants too…and he was an arse. But I owe him, I owe him more than once over… And he shoveled a shit rapist in the head. Which, again, impresses me."

"I can't go to prison."

"You won't. I just need the skillet." 

"How can I trust you?"

"I'll give you £500,000 for it."

Stephanie blinked at her. "What?"

"This is important, and really, I won't miss the money." 

"I… I'd need to see it before…"

"Of course," Lace picked up her cellphone and dialed a number. "Yes, it's me, Warren, I need you to get £500,000 and bring it to 1359 Bird Lane, Leeds… Yes, yes. Cash….Yes, now…yes, I do realize it's nearly 1 am." 

Stephanie stared at her. 

Lace hung up. "I'm also going to need a written statement, but I swear to you won't even get near a prison cell." 

"Who are you?" Stephanie asked again. 

_Two Days later_

Lace paced the room, the science lab that was on the bottom floor of her building. People in white coats were at many different stations, going on with their business. Though, they kept looking over at her and probably wondering who she was — only one of them realized she was their employer. And he only knew because she'd taken him from a dead-end job tutoring rich kids in science and put him in charge of her scientific department. And he was finishing up his study of the skillet that was on the counter, wrapped in a plastic bag. 

"Well?"

"Just give the computer some time, I told you it was going to be a while, Lace."

"I just need to know if I can use this…" she snapped. 

He stared at her. 

"What?"

"Who is he?"

"The rapist?"

"No, the guy you want to get out of jail. It's not like you get into knots over a guy."

"I love you, I take offense at that."

"We go back, Lace. You saved my life."

"Well, this guy saved mine."

"Seriously? You ever needed saving?"

"Everyone needs saving sometimes."

"Becca told me he still hasn't okayed the solicitor, or put your on the visitor's list."

"Doesn't matter, I'm not giving up. We're taking the case…." She stared at the computer. "Joey…"

"I can't make it go faster."

"I hate waiting," Lace whined. "Entertain me."

Joey snorted. "No one knows how to do that."

She grinned. "Point."

"Is it true?" he asked. 

"Is what true?"

"You're moving to Emmerdale."

"Oh. Yes."

He frowned at her. 

"What?"

"Why?"

It was a good question, Lace guessed. It wasn't easy to answer, though, and she leaned forward a bit, her eyes on the computer that wasn't quite finished analyzing the samples Joey put into it. She felt impatient to know if she had some evidence to help her get Robert out of prison. Anything would help, all she had to do was make it seem like time served was enough. Just pull him out early, and everything would better.

If he let her. 

"Lace? Emmerdale?"

And wasn't Emmerdale all tied up with him? He used to talk about it all the time. He pretended he hated it. He made it sound awful, or he tried to make it sound awful. He tried to make it sound like the last place anyone would want to run to… She always found herself wondering about it, what it would be like. To live someplace small, to be in a space where people noticed you, and you weren't just another name, or another face, or someone to ignore. It fascinated her the way he talked about the village as a whole. It'd always felt alive to her. 

"Always thought it sounded nice. It's a place someone lives, Joey," she shared, and then she felt a spark of mischief. "And well, I think it needs saving."

Joey shook his head. "So, what, you're graduating from saving people to saving villages?"

"Why not, right?" 

The computer beeped.

"Please tell me we've got some evidence?"

Joey looked at the printout. "It's got Posner's blood on it all right." 

Lace squealed and grabbed the sheet of paper. "All the copies, to all the right people, you know who," she said. 

Joey nodded. 

"Thank you," she said before turning away and walking out of the room. Laughing as she heard to people gossiping about if she and Joey were an item. She pressed a button for the elevator and hit the button for the top floor. As it rolled up, her phone rang. 

"Lace."

"Boss," a woman with a reedy voice said. "I put that request through again this morning."

"And?" she asked, expecting she already knew the answer.

"It was approved, you can make a date to visit him at your convenience."

"Seriously?" she deadpanned into her phone.

"Yes, Ms…"

"Lace or Boss, please, Lynette." 

"Boss… Yes, would you like me to book you a visit to the prison?"

"Yes, IMMEDIATELY." 

The doors to the top floor opened, and three men in suits converged on her. 

"Ms… Ms…."

"Lace, please. Or boss."

"Ms…you need to take some phone calls, there are some meetings you really should be at, especially since…"

"Since what?" she asked, rolling her eyes at suit number one.

"Your CEO quit…"

"Ms. You have stop chasing off CEOs."

"They need to listen to how I want to spend my money."

"That's the problem," an old man with a mustache yelled, standing in front of her. "I have worked at this company since your grandfather started it, Ms…"

"LACE."

"Lace," he said reluctantly. "And you are spending too much money."

"Am I spending more than we are making?"

"Well, no, but…"

"But what?"

"You keep spending like you are, and we…"

"What?"

"Might start to lose…"

"Can a billion pound a year company really lose all that much right away?"

"Uh, no…"

"Is everyone still employed who wishes to be employed here."

"Yes."

"Are we making money still?"

"Of course…"

"Then, I don't care what you think of my spending, Byron. I'm only keeping you on until that contract of yours expires, so don't worry, in a few years you can see the back of me."

"Your grandfather is rolling over in his grave."

"My grandfather was an abusive arsehole, just like his son."

"Ms..ms…" voices yelled after her as she tried walked away. 

She sighed. "What?"

"We need a CEO."

"Oh…" she looked at the paper that was telling her that Stephanie Fowler's skillet killed Lee Posner. "I'm working on getting one, just give me a month. Until then, just have someone do it temporarily." 

Voices yelled after her again. 

"I mean it, I only want to see Florian when he gets here," she looked at her secretary, Lynette, as she finally got near the door to her office. 

"Yes, Boss," the woman there said. 

"Did you book that visitation?"

"Yes, and arranged your flight to the Isle of Man."

"Perfect, thank you."

"Also, this is the information you requested on Kim Tate," she pointed to a thick folder.

"Perfect, I really love today," she said and grabbed it.

She stepped into the office and glared at its four walls. It was big, spacious, and pretentiously decorated. It was her late father's office. It made her sick to her stomach. She sat down behind the desk, though, and let out a small breath.

She looked at the evidence about the skillet having Posner's blood. Robert had put her name down on his accepted visitor's list. She was shocked as hell if she was honest. She thought she might have to find a way to use Seb's correspondence again. Maybe she'd pissed him off more than she thought by using his son. 

Though it still shocked her that he had a son. 

It still shocked her that he'd gone back to Emmerdale. 

He'd believed all his lies about hating it. 

The biggest shock was he'd been married. To a man. 

He lived a life as an out bisexual.

Lace shook her head. 

She would never have taken that bet. 

"You better let me save your arse, Sugden. Cause been working mine off to make sure it can happen," she muttered.


	10. Chapter 10

His entire life, Robert got away with physical altercation by relying on his height, the size of his hands, and his ability to let all his anger and rage show on his face. His sharp tongue helped, so he'd punched a few people, and shoved more than that, but generally, it was intimidation skills that kept him from a few bad beatings in his life. Also, never stopped him from managing to commit murder -- twice. 

Not that he'd meant to the first time, and he told himself over and over it was an accident. Somedays, he almost believed it, that he hadn't meant to kill Katie. He just could never get away from the fact he had meant to shove her, to scare her, that he'd felt the need to do anything to make her shut up. It'd been different with Posner but the same too, he'd wanted him gone and he wanted to hurt him. He'd picked up that shovel. And just hit him, from behind, without thinking about what came next... 

He hadn't used his fists because he couldn't...

Now he could. Prison had taught him. 

And he hoped he'd made the right call and he was beginning to think he hadn't because Barney had him on the floor again, fists pounding on him but he'd started this fight, and he needed to finish it. He needed the power dynamic to change between them, he'd planned this for a week, and he really hoped he wouldn't be spending the night in the infirmary. 

Robert wedged his leg between Barney and kicked, he kicked with all he had, and he shoved at the guy, used his the shaking that was in his limps against him and he punched him, scrambled and suddenly he was on the one in control. And smacked his fists into Barney's face, again and again, counting it, making sure it was enough to get the point across but not enough for him to get in deep with the guards. He heard them, shouting, he felt arms start to grab him, but he got in the last punch and heard Barney's nose crack. 

He stared right into his beady eyes as Stan and a few other guards dragged him off the other man. "I'll kill you," he said, cold and direct, nearly emotionless. Threats were always best when icy, he thought, and all this was one big threat. In the hopes of keeping himself safe. 

A moment later, he was being shoved into his cell, by Stan. He walked inside it and started pacing, adrenaline firing in his blood, and the craziness of his decision hitting him. Later, it was always later. He shook his arms and turned and saw Stan shaking his head at him. But there was a look in his guard's eyes that told him he knew what was going on. Stan was nearing his mid-sixties, he'd worked at the prison longer than some of the inmates had been in it. As far as Robert could tell he was a good guy, and they'd have a few conversations about their sons. He'd helped Robert decided to allow Seb to write to him. 

"I hope that wasn't stupid, Sugden."

"Me too.." He muttered and tasted blood. He touched his lip and realized he reopened a wound, and he was starting to feel some aches, new and old bruises he supposed. He sighed. "Me too."

"That visit of yours is on the rotation."

Robert blinked. 

"For next Friday, paperwork and all for a new visitor, since she's a private citizen and not a solicitor."

"Right..." He'd been purposely not thinking about putting her name down. Maybe he half made himself believe he dreamed it, and it was mad. But Lace was mad. He shook his head as he thought about how he'd gotten a letter from someone he'd thought long lost... 

"Who is she, Sugden? 'Cause always figured if you caved, it'd be your son."

She sent him a letter in an envelope marked with his son's handwriting. It was about his son, and it was about curiosity. And it was about fear. But the one thing it wouldn't be was about hope...

"It was probably a mistake..." Robert muttered. 

"I can get her taken off, but I don't need to remind you of that, do I?"

"No. She can come... Once," Robert muttered. 

"You want to see the nurse?"

"No," Robert shook his head.

"I gotta go report that, and do paperwork about that..." Stan sighed. "It better work out, Sudgen."

Robert shivered at the thought of what might happen if his plan to intimidate Barney failed. 

~~~

Aaron sat on his bed and stared at the left side of the closet. The room was empty, pretty much, except for the bed. He'd never liked the bed, really, he'd bought it a year after Robert... 

Unable to stand their empty bed any longer. He'd never liked it, never slept a full night of soundless sleep in it. He hadn't slept a full night of sound sleep in years, now, had he? He tried to figure it out, but just last night, he'd woken up at least twice. 

They weren't taking the bed, they'd sold it and a few other pieces of furniture to Lace. He wondered what she wanted with a couch and some chairs. The espresso machine. Aaron sighed, it wasn't like he and Dennis used it, they used the coffee pot Dennis brought with him when he moved in. It was in their new kitchen now, Dennis had grinned that morning as he poured Aaron a cup in his #1 Dad mug that Seb bought him when he was seven. 

Aaron looked around at the bare walls, the empty dresser they were leaving for Lace -- that dresser, Robert had picked it out, at some point when Aaron been the one in jail. Aaron never really looked at it before, though, now that he thought about it. It was just wood like he cared, but it had the perfect number of drawers though...

He and Dennis had run out space in their new one, having to reorganize how they did things, socks, and underwear now intermingled. Aaron stared at the old dresser and pictured Robert counting it all out, figuring out just how many drawers the two of them might need plus a few extra -- because life always brought you extra. 

Aaron sighed, and his eyes went back to the closet and felt a sense of guilt and relief flood him. He'd kept Dennis away from packing up the closet. He'd kept Dennis on the right side of it for their entire relationship. A long time ago, that'd been his side... But all his stuff been on the left now but it wasn't all his... 

He stood up and opened it. All his clothes were in the new closet, or in boxes on the floor and waiting. But there were three boxes, pushed as far back as they would go in the corner. Three boxes all labeled _Robert._ Aaron stared at them and wondered where the hell he was going to put them now. 

He'd put them in his boot, for now, he'd figure it out later, maybe rent a storage space... He shook his head at himself. Maybe he should give it all away, but that made his entire body freeze in a way that shouted no. He picked up the box on the top and carried it over the bed and dropped it down. Maybe he could talk himself into giving the stuff away. 

He opened the box. One last look? He thought and silently counted the times he'd told himself that -- but it'd been a good two years since he opened the boxes. The last time being right before Dennis moved into the Mill... He shook his head, it felt odd to think he and Dennis spent more time in this place than he and Robert. Time sometimes made no sense to him, and he laughed a bit as he opened the box and the watch was there...

The bloody watch. 

He heard a creak on the floor by his door and shut the box quickly. He stepped in front of the name to hide it from whoever was about to interrupt him. He felt guilty and tried to guess who it might be. It couldn't be Dennis, he'd made sure Dennis wouldn't be anywhere near the Mill before driving over to get the boxes. 

"Oh, hey..." Lace smiled as she stepped into the room.

Aaron breathed out in relief. 

"I thought you guys were mostly set, except for Seb's room?" 

"Just a few boxes I forgot about," Aaron coughed. 

"Oh, want any help..." Lace stepped forward and went to pick up the box. 

"No...no..." Aaron tried to grab it. 

"Is that a pasta maker?"

Aaron closed his eyes and sighed. 

"A watch, leather jacket... Pasta maker and miscellaneous Stephen King novels..." 

Aaron closed the top. "It's just some old random stuff..." His eyes darted to the other boxes, full of random things of Robert's he just couldn't bring himself to give away. 

"Robert..." Lace said, and he saw her looking at the name on the outside of the box. 

Aaron looked down at the floor.

"Heirlooms for Seb?"

"Just the watch...." Aaron muttered. "Robert wants him to have it so..."

"May I?" she reached out and picked it up. Aaron scowled because he didn't want her touching it, or looking at it, but also didn't feel like he had right to be possessive of it -- it wasn't his. If it belonged to anyone, it was Seb. 

"What are the dates?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I'm being nosy, I'd apologize, but I'll just do it again... I take it's complicated with Seb's dad, huh?"

"With him being in jail in all?"

"None of my business."

"No, it's not," he said but not too sharply. He sighed. "Seb... Keeps hoping we won't move, really. It's why I've let him put his stuff off until the last minute, the last second. He's still waiting for me to stop the move..."

"Will you?" she asked. 

"What no?" Aaron sighed. "No. It's yours all signed and sealed."

"Doesn't mean you couldn't try to change my mind."

Aaron stared at her. 

"Tempting?" she asked.

"No..." But he trailed off. "A bit..." He laughed and felt thankful she wasn't serious, that it couldn't be a serious offer. "Seb's Dad... He built this place up for us, it was a burned-out shell when I bought it -- for my sister, really, but for us, him, me. And her...." 

"Your sister."

"It made this home..." Aaron sniffed as he felt the tears form in his eyes. "It's hard, walking away, harder than... But life changed, things changed, and I'm getting remarried so..."

"Different home for a different husband."

Aaron snorted. "That sounds..."

"Practical, I think...right? Relationships are always messy. Most of mine have been, I don't even do romance," she snorted. "I think people come and go, but a few, they always make deeper impressions." 

Aaron nodded. 

"Robert..." She said. "Sounds like he made a deep one."

He reached out and took the watch out of her hand. "A bit, yeah..."

"It's okay to miss that, you know..."

Aaron nodded, but he wasn't sure if he felt okay. About anything, he kept feeling like he was making the right choices, the right decisions. His life was moving forward, and that was how it was meant to be. Stepping backward wasn't an option and wallowing in what he wished his life had been...

Nearly had destroyed him. 

"This is for Seb," he said. 

"You said. Was it Robert's dad's?"

"No, no," Aaron laughed. "Doubt Jack Sugden owned anything this expensive. Robert bought it to look good to clients when he worked a salesman, said he saved up for months just for it. Was prat about it, making sure it was cleaned and all... I stole it once." 

Lace snorted. 

"Kept it, to myself, to piss him off. Was dead mad at him, and all..." Aaron sighed. "I'm always dead mad at him."

"Huh..." Lace said.

Aaron looked at her, and she was staring at the watch oddly. 

"I knew this guy once... Real arsehole, total selfish prick, he put himself first, all the bloody time....and I wished more than once that could hate him."

"Did you?"

"No," she shrugged. "Cause the thing was...that wasn't who he really was."

Aaron nodded. 

"But I ended it, our friendship, I ended it and told him I never wanted to see him again and I walked away."

"Good decision?" Aaron asked. 

"No," she said. "I missed him. But I couldn't turn it back, life went on."

"So, never saw him again?"

"Not yet..."

"Yet?"

"Never say never, right?" she smiled.

Aaron looked at the watch.

"Look... If Seb gets homesick, and if my horrible interior design choices don't freak him out too much, he's always welcome to pop in. Maybe we can wean him off..."

"You don't have to do that."

"No, I don't... But you know, you can bring him over anyway. You could too, you know."

Aaron frowned. "No, I'm moving forward."

"So, giving this stuff away,' she tapped the box. 

Aaron couldn't answer her because he knew the answer was no. 

"Okay... I just... Tell me off for being nosy, but... A pasta maker? I mean I can get clothes, books, a special watch but..."

Aaron laughed and looked at the pasta maker. "We'd broken up, and I was... I was trying to make this dinner for the guy I was dating, to make up for something, I can't remember. But I can't cook, and Robert came in and saw me and my sad pasta... And fixed it."

"Fixed it?"

"He made a new batch, made the dinner for me and...whoever it was... And, well, we ended up eating the dinner together and I... I knew by the time he left that I wasn't over him..." Aaron smiled. "It was a nice night."

"No chance of you and him again?" 

Aaron shook his head. "No."

"Why not?"

"He's in prison for another 7 years at least, and I've... Moved on," Aaron nodded. "I have moved on." 

"Want help with the boxes," she cocked her head toward the closet.

"Nah. I'll get them all."

"I'll take good care of this place," she said as he started out of the room, carrying the first box. 

Aaron turned back at her, ready to shrug it off, but the look in her eye made him give her a thankful look instead. He was moving on, at least the person he'd given his home too, while nosy, seemed like a good sort. "Seb and I might take you up on that offer."

"Door is always open."


	11. Chapter 11

2006

His stomach hurt from being hungry, he was freezing, and all he had was his jacket and bunch of newspapers — none of which given a way of finding a job. His car wasn't given him any warmth either, despite being to shut a door on the cold, and he'd just fallen asleep, and someone was banging on his window. He sat up in his backseat and glared at the girl. He'd seen her around, sleeping under the bridge and keeping her head down, dirty and always looking cold like him. Their eyes met through the window, and she yelled. 

"You gotta leave the car."

"What?"

"You gotta get out… they're gonna tow it, they find you with it, they'll arrest ya." 

His eyes narrowed. 

"I'm not trying to steal it, look…" she cocked her head down the street. 

There were a lot of abandoned cars left down here, most of the shells of their former selves, and belonged to a scrapyard really. It's why he'd parked down here when he realized he was low on petrol and would never be able to afford more. There were a few tow trucks, men in hi-vis, and two police cars. He frowned and opened the door, and started to grab at his backpack and stuff…

"Hurry up before they notice us… yeah," she said. 

He hesitated.

"It's just a crap car…" she grabbed his arm, and they ran down the street. 

November 2nd, 2027

He bounced his leg as he sat the table, waiting for the visitors to let in the room. It felt weird having one — and half of him still didn't believe he would. He wasn't quite buying that he hadn't pulled Lace out his mind. Why would she of all people be reaching out? Why would she want to help him? He shook his head, remembering the barbed words that passed between them the last time they saw each other…

He'd been angry and full of it and out to show his father. 

And she'd known he was lying bastard. 

But he wouldn't back down. 

He thought he'd never see her again. 

He'd buried missing her. 

She became a memory. 

He never even told Aaron about her. 

The doors opened, and people spilled inside. All boring and ordinary-looking to his eyes until she walked in — looking nearly the same. White blonde hair, tiny, but sharp eyes and in jeans and leather. She found him quick enough, her eyes taking him in, and he knew she saw every bruise on his face and how he couldn't quite sit straight. She frowned and walked over and sat down. 

"You look like shit."

"You look…" he looked at her. "The same."

"Why mess with perfection?"

Robert shook his head.

She tapped her fingers against the table, and he noticed they were expertly manicured and painted purple, except for one that was a deep red. He looked up and clocked that her haircut wasn't something cheap either… "Maybe you have changed."

She frowned. "Not how it matters."

"Alright… Why are you here?" he asked. 

"I want to get you out of here."

"I'm guilty."

"He was a sick monster."

Robert shrugged. 

"And you didn't kill him."

"Yeah, Lace, I did…" he said. 

She leaned back and unzipped her leather jacket and pulled out a stack of papers. "I'm assuming you're still too clever for your own good…" she said as she moved them across the table toward him. 

He leaned over and glanced at the page on top, curiosity only, telling himself he didn't care. It was some sort of forensics report, and it mentioned a kitchen skillet and Lee Posnar's blood…. He leaned forward and picked it up. Found a witness report from an anonymous source explaining how Posner raped her, and she attacked him with the skillet when he returned to her home — acting like he was welcome. The date of the attack was after Lee had woken up from his coma… 

"But… it's still probably related to me hitting him," he looked at Lace.

"Florian Lakewood, that's my solicitor that you've been ignoring, is very good at his job. He can get your sentence reduced to GBH, Robert, then time served… We can get you out here."

"With what money?"

"Mine."

He raised an eyebrow.

"They all died, except for that one Aunt I liked… and she doesn't care what I do with the family legacy." 

"All of them?"

"Company jet crashed…it was several years ago, might have seen it all over the news if you weren't locked up in here."

He snorted and winced because it hurt his bruised cheek. 

She sighed. 

"This is weird," he muttered. 

"Why?"

"Last time I saw you told me to go off and destroy my life and not count on you to rescue me…" he shook his head. "I managed that alright — a few times over."

"And you thought I was an idealistic child and would never get out of our boxy cheap flat."

"One of us was right."

"Both us were wrong," she said. 

"How were you wrong?"

She dug into her jacket again, and this time she pulled out a photograph and pushed it toward him over the table. He flinched when he saw it, and a sob lodged itself in his throat. It was his family. It was him, Liv, Aaron, and Seb — the picture he used to have on his mobile, and he clenched his jaw. 

"You, Robert 'I'm Straight' Sudgen, came out of the closet and married a man. You were raising a kid with him and took on that girl… Liv, as your own. I do my homework, Robert. You got everything you were always afraid to admit you wanted." 

"Don't…" he pushed it back. "I lost it."

"You can have it back."

"I thought you did your homework."

She snorted. "Dennis? That won't happen."

"He deserves a good life, and from what I can tell, Dennis is an alright guy."

"Sure, he's alright — but he's not you."

"Lace, why do you care?"

"For fuck's sake, Robert, I love you. You're…. The only family I ever had that mattered to me. We were… Brother and sister, you and me against the hunger and the cold. You saved me more than once out there."

"Lace…"

"So, I couldn't watch you hurt yourself…" she shrugged. "Still, though, you should have looked me up when that monster attacked your sister."

"What, so you could kill him?" 

"Maybe… or at least threatened him real good."

"Not like I had your number."

"You missed me."

"Of course I did… but…"

"What?"

"Deserved to lose ya, didn't I?"

"No. Don't deserve to lose Aaron either from what I can see."

He frowned. 

"Seb's cute."

"Don't use my son again," he snapped suddenly.

"I won't… made it, so I don't have to."

"Lace…" he shook his head. "I belong here, there are things you don't know…"

"And someday you can tell me. After I get you out."

"It won't work."

"Let me prove you wrong."

"Why?"

"I owe ya, I love ya… You earned a life you deserved from what I can tell. Don't you want it back?"

"He's moved on, and Seb's better off…"

"You don't believe your son is better off without you, that's just lying to yourself, and it sounds good, so you believe it." 

"Fine, I don't think that alright… but I'm here, Lace. I put myself here. I ruined that life I wanted that I never knew I wanted as much as I did, that I craved with Aaron. That we carved out somehow despite the mess we started as and nearly ended…" he wiped at his nose and tried to control his chin. 

"Aaron still loves you… I'd bet money on it."

Robert shrugged. "Just because he might, doesn't mean I deserve him or should mess up his life."

"How about being in Seb's life? Liv's? Your nephew's? Let me get you out."

"It won't work."

"Let me try."

Robert sighed. 

"I have a last name," she said. 

"What?"

"Inherit a billion-dollar company they kind of make you have a legal name…." 

"And?"

"My name is Lace Sugden, not like we've never told people we were brother and sister."

"Huh."

"We're family, like it or not, Robert. I chose it. Even mad at you, even after nearly twenty years of not seeing ya." 

"Fine…" he muttered. 

"You'll let me get you out?"

"You can try? It won't work."

"It'll work."

He shook his head, and his eyes fell on the photograph still on the table. "He's alright?"

"Which one?"

"Both…" he coughed. "Seb?"

"He's a great kid, really. Snarky and not afraid to tell it as he sees it."

Robert smiled. 

"He loves ya."

"Doesn't know me."

"Bet he'll love ya more when he does."

Robert shook his head. 

"Aaron?"

"Hard to read, sentimental, though… found him staring into a box with a watch, your old Stephen King collection, and a pasta maker." 

The pasta maker? Robert smiled and fell back in time, where he'd allowed himself some hope. Where he'd glimpsed a road where they made it back to each other again. 

"I think he still loves ya."

"He'll always love me," Robert whispered. "That isn't always enough, Lace."

"Fight for it then, never known you not to go after what you want."

"Things change."

"Not the things that count." 

"Look. I'm getting you out. Prepare for it."

"I still…" he really looked at her. "Not quite sure I even believe you're here. After all of it, after everything... I really thought I'd never see ya again, Lace."

"Some people just always come around again."

"Sugden? Really?"

"Was always the only name that made it to the list of options."

"We were…" he looked at the photograph. "Aaron and I, we wanted kids, and they were gonna be Sudgen-Dingle." 

"Sounds like a thing to fight for," Lace said. 

"I can't…"

"We'll work on that."

He laughed. "You were always such a fighter…'

"Had to be."

"I know."

"I'm here to rescue you."

"How we met."

She smiled. "Friendship, family, never dies… not the real thing."

He nodded. "I've missed ya, just… thought the door was shut."

"Me too. Until I had a file with your name land on my desk."

"Alright, get me out," he said and wiped at his eyes. 

She opened her mouth, but the announcement the visit was over boomed throughout the room. "I put in a visit from Florian, see him this time?"

He nodded.

"I'll see you again soon." She stood up and picked up the paperwork. 

He stared at the photo of his family. 

"Better keep that, huh," she said.

He nodded, and then she was gone. 

And maybe there was hope fluttering under his skin.


	12. Chapter 12

Aaron looked at the mess of wrapping paper and the pile of presents and knew he'd gone overboard for Seb's birthday, but he'd wanted to make it special. Both because it was his tenth birthday, but mostly because Seb was homesick for the Mill. And maybe Aaron didn't blame him — the new flat was nice, and he thought he and Dennie made it cozy and all… 

There was a fire in the fireplace and warm blankets over the furniture. It wasn't as — bright as the Mill, though, and something important was missing, something Aaron couldn't put a word too, but he thought it might fade in time. 

They would make the new place a home. He kept reminding himself. 

But his son wasn't happy, though he was trying to accept things… He was being friendly with Dennis again, though not near as close to him as he'd finally gotten. Aaron kept telling himself they'd get back there… 

Right now, he needed to deal with the mess of the birthday explosion. A glance at the pile of toys and clothes told him he hadn't been the only one trying to make something up to Seb. Not the only one trying to get a smile out of him and felt warmth at the thought. His family and Seb's were looking out for him, and it was a good feeling. 

He just really wasn't looking forward to cleaning things up, and the longer he looked at the least like doing something about it. He sighed and told himself to get working on it when the doorbell went off. He opened the door, and man stood with a package. 

"Sebastian White?" the man asked.

"His father…" Aaron said. 

The delivery guy shrugged and shoved a digital pad for Aaron to sign in his face. Aaron scribbled something on it and took the box the man offered. It was heavy, and he frowned. He glanced at the return address and realized it was from Robert. 

He chewed on his lip and put the box down on the table. Then he started to clean, but his eyes kept falling on the present, and after about ten minutes, he started checking the time. Trying to figure out when Vic was going to bring Seb back from birthday ice cream with her and Robbie. He was probably never getting the kid to bed tonight, with all the sugar he'd been allowed. 

He finished getting all the wrappings in the trash and then started sorting presents and figuring out what to do with them all — Seb would have to put them all away himself in his room, but Aaron wanted it sorted a bit to help him out. 

Aaron looked at the box and frowned. Robert sent him a present, every birthday and every Christmas. Like clockwork… usually, something that Seb may have mentioned liking or wanting in his letters. It was almost always a perfect gift, and Aaron felt a pang of missing Robert. Because he was so good at knowing what the people he loved wanted or needed… 

He felt relief when the door opened but then disappointment when it was Dennis. 

"Happy to see you too…" Dennis laughed and kissed his cheek.

"Sorry, it's just that box came for Seb."

Dennis glanced at it. "Ah, THE present." 

Aaron nodded.

"Seb will love it, he always does, what are you worried about?"

"I'm not worried," Aaron muttered and decided against telling Dennis he was simply curious. That he just wanted to know what Robert had gotten their son, that he felt anticipation for it… 

Those were things he probably shouldn't feel. 

"He'll be back soon enough…. And I have something to keep us busy until he is."

Aaron got an uneasy feeling.

"We can pick our wedding date," Dennis smiled and waved a piece of paper in Aaron's face and grabbed Aaron's arm. Pulling him down onto their couch with him. "I got them to give me a list of available dates for the first six months of 2028."

Something lead thunked in Aaron's stomach, and he felt itchy all of a sudden and looked at the time. Wishing his son home, so he wouldn't have to have this discussion yet — it felt oddly too soon, which felt ridiculous when he thought it. They'd been engaged over six months, they'd moved into their own home because they wanted a place that was theirs and theirs alone. But something felt it pressing uncomfortably against Aaron. 

"So, I mean nothing against January really, but I thought February might be…" Dennis' voice got past the buzzing in Aaron's ears. And he nearly shouted out no… because not February, never February, that month was untouchable, that month was too…

Robert. 

"How about February 19th? I know it's a bit cheesy so close to Valentine's day but…" 

And it kept getting worse because of Valentine's day because just a few days later it was their first wedding anniversary and that sealed it, the no that was in Aaron's throat barked out. 

"No, not February."

"Why?"

"Uh…" Aaron winced, but he knew he had to tell the truth. "It's just… Robert and I were married in February."

"I thought it was October?"

"That was our second wedding… the legal one. It's just…No."

Dennis furrowed his brow. "You never told me you were married twice?"

"Does that matter?"

"Well, no just…." Dennis shrugged. "Alright, February is out… March is booked, so um… April 22nd?"

Aaron laughed, not that he found it all that funny really, but it just fell out of him because he felt like he was being played with by the universe or something. 

"What's wrong with it?"

"Robert's birthday."

"You're joking…." Dennis trailed off. 

Aaron shrugged and looked at the time. "Obviously, this isn't something we can just throw a dart at…. Can we talk about it later, Dennis? Seb's going to be home soon, and I promised him we'd watch some of his favorite movies with him. The three of us. This place is still a mess, and I have to make the hot chocolate."

Dennis nodded, but he looked put out. 

"I'm sorry…."

"No, it's not…" Dennis said. "You're right, we should focus on Seb… should I find a gift bag to put that box in?" he indicated Robert's present.

"Oh… not sure, it might be wrapped up in there, huh?" Aaron picked it up, his insides buzzing now that he had a reason to peek inside. 

"What are you doing?"

"Seeing if it's wrapped and all, better than me having open the box for him later…" Aaron ripped at the packing tape and sure enough whatever it was wrapped up in blue paper. There was an envelope on top with Seb's name written in Robert's hand. 

"So, no gift bag needed."

"Nope…" Aaron said.

The door was banged on then and flew open to reveal Seb, Vic, and Robbie. Seb ran right in and honed in on the present sitting on the counter. "Is that another present for me?"

"Yeah, mate," Aaron said and handed it to him.

Seb grinned as he saw his name in his dad's writing and put the box back on the counter and opened the letter first. He grinned as he read it, then stuffed it into his pocket. Aaron tried not to let the envy or curiosity about the words and content of the letter. It made him want to try to capture Robert's voice in his memories — only he knew he wouldn't be able too…

He needed to stop thinking about him. 

Aaron put his focus back on his smiling son. 

Seb tore into the paper then and then opened a white box and pulled out a die-cast model of a Porche — not just any, though, Aaron recognized it immediately. It was Robert's old car, and he felt pang suddenly about selling it, but it was hurting him too much to keep around. Seb grinned at it and smiled. "He said he used to drive one just like it."

"He did, mate," Aaron said with a nod. 

"It's amazing."

"Yeah," Aaron said. 

"Leave to Rob to get him a car when he's ten…" Vic laughed, but it sounded bittersweet to Aaron, and he saw her looking at the letter that stuck out of Seb's pocket. He wasn't the only one who'd been cut off…. He felt familiar anger rise up, and his eyes fell on the list of available wedding dates that Dennis dropped on the counter. 

Later they would really sit down and talk it out. 

Maybe being married sooner was better than later.

~~~

Robert felt beady eyes on him, and it rose the hairs on the back of his neck, but he refused to look up from his book. Refused to give Barney any satisfaction — all he'd been doing since Robert went at him was stare. But it wouldn't last, and Robert had to be careful had to play his cards right.

And he was trying not to hope Lace would get him out soon, but it was there in the back of his mind. This constant tickle that felt like the type of hope he'd forgotten existed. It was terrifying, and he had to keep pushing it away and down, shutting it into a box…

He couldn't afford to believe he was getting out of here. 

He wouldn't survive it if he did and then found himself with locked doors and dangerous men all around him. He needed to keep expecting prison to be his foreseeable future and nothing beyond it…

Lace was a force, he knew that about her, but she was just a person, and so was her expensive lawyer. 

It wouldn't do him any good to imagine getting out, so he was refusing to do so… 

"Sugden…" Stan called out his name.

He looked up. 

"People are here to see ya."

"Uh…" he stood up confused because it wasn't visiting hours, and even if it was, there was no one scheduled. He'd talked to Lace on the phone a few times and met with her solicitor twice, but there was no news since… 

"Come on…" Stan walked ahead, and Robert followed him into a room. It wasn't the visitor's room, it was more like an office, and he saw the warden and another suite standing by the desk and both his and Lace's solicitor standing with them. 

"What's going on?" he asked, and it felt like his heart was on his tongue. 

"Mr. Sugden, I made an appeal today about your case, and well, it went rather well."

"Meaning?" he asked as the world seemed to lose focus. 

"Meaning a judge has ordered you to immediately released on served time for GBH — without intent. Your prior conviction has been thrown out." 

Clive smiled at him. "Robert, you can leave. Now."

He stumbled where he stood and shook his head. "But?"

"It's good news, Mr. Sugden," the warden said. "I've sent Stan to retrieve the things we took from you on your arrival, and you can go pack anything up you wish to take from your cell. And you can leave with your solicitors."

Robert nodded, but he felt dazed and shaky on his feet. It felt too fast, it felt unreal, and he wasn't at all ready, he wasn't prepared at all — it was supposed to fail, wasn't it? It'd been doomed too. He belonged here… maybe not for that monster but for Katie, for the White's… 

He stumbled backward, and Clive hurried forward and steadied him. "It's alright, Robert."

"I've called Ms. Sugden, and she'll meet us in the airport in London," Lakewood said. 

It took Robert a second to remember he meant Lace… 

Lace.

She'd done it. 

How?


	13. Chapter 13

The Mill.

Home.

Home?

Robert scrubbed his hands through his hair and sat back down on the couch, pushing at the duvet he'd slept under and stared at his surroundings. They'd gotten in late the night before, his heart pounding as Lace's driver went down the main street, terrified someone who might recognize would be on the street. There'd been no one, of course, not even anyone walking a dog. It'd been too late, too close to dawn. He'd barely looked at the place when they walked in, faking being more shattered than he was to Lace. And she'd sent him to his old room, mentioning Aaron left behind most of the bedroom furniture. 

It was a wrong bed and their old dresser. He remembered taking forever to chose at an antique store. It was a strange memory, remembering standing in a store with Aaron because he was the one in prison... Robert shook himself out of the memory. It'd made him grab the duvet off of it and walk back down the stairs and see that the couch was the same and he'd blinked at it for a bit before he sat down…

It wasn't as soft as the bed in Lace's London Penthouse. But it felt more like home. And anything was better than a prison bed. He'd stayed awake, and looking at a ceiling he'd thought he'd never see again. It'd been easier looking at the ceiling than the rest of the place. 

But he was awake now, whether he liked it or not. Some young kid woke him banging on the door with contracts for him and Lace to sign. He knew what they were, she was making him her CEO — which seemed like a bizarre job leap, but he couldn't really argue with her. But it wasn't like he couldn't do the job, he could, and it felt weirdly good to know that…

He'd really be her puppet. But if he was going to be anyone's puppet, she was a good choice. He'd put the contracts on the table and looked for her, but she wasn't home. So he instead he opened the refrigerator — the same one he picked out what felt like eons ago, and he started to make breakfast. 

But he kept stopping to stare at the walls. 

The columns.

The stairs. 

He could feel it. He could feel the fact Aaron had moved out. It was in the echo of things, the place was too empty. But Lace was signing the house over to him as well — it was up to him to fill it. He wasn't sure he could, he wasn't even sure where to start.

Except to see Seb.

Except to hope Aaron doesn't hate him. 

He'd turned off the burner and left the uncooked eggs in the pan. And sat back down the couch, thinking about hiding under the duvet and not feel how daunting everything felt. He stared at the fireplace and the mantel. It was empty — no signs of life.

Nothing that told him how Aaron, Liv, and Seb had lived. He wanted to know that he wanted some clue, but they weren't in the house — not really, and his memories felt too long ago and like they belonged in a different universe. The one where he'd briefly managed not to ruin it all… 

He couldn't get it back.   
Could he?

He wanted it, and he always would. But could he?

The door opened, and Lace walked in carrying donuts. She went straight to the kitchen and picked up the pan with the uncooked eggs. "What's this?"

"Sorry, I just…. I'm…"

"A ghost?" she asked and appeared in front of him. 

"This place is empty."

"Won't be for long."

"Right…" 

"No more putting it off, Robert."

"I'm not," he said. 

"You are, and I get it, but time isn't going to make it easier. And hasn't enough been wasted?"

He nodded. 

"But first…" she got up, and he heard a rip two seconds later. 

He stepped up. 

"Okay, here we are your work contract, me signing over this house to you…and ooh the home farm designs."

"The Home Farm designs? YOu own Home Farm?"

"Not yet."

"Not ever… that place is cursed, Lace."

"Don't be dramatic. And I don't plan to use it like it's been in the past."

He felt like he should have seen that coming. 

"I'm going to make it the ultimate safe house for my real business… it'll be my self-defense studio, our offices for L.S. Industries here in Emmerdale, and a safe house for people running from abuse. It's a great location for it, really."

"You're insane."

"Maybe, but it's what I'm doing with it. Just need to get it out from under Kim Tate, that and all the other buildings and businesses she's stolen from around here."

"And just give them back?" he asked. 

"Yep," she smiled at him. "I don't need money."

"No, you really don't… but I will attempt to still make some for ya…"

"I know. But you won't fight me either."

"No…" he shook his head. "I don't much care about money anymore either, except for stability and comfort."

"You'll be fine there."

"This is too much…" he thought. 

"Robert."

"Lace… really you can't just…"

"Help ya?"

"Yes," he shouted and turned around and walked around the couch. Eyes on the walls and noticing everything that was missing. 

"I know this isn't… what you wanted your home to look like…and alright, if you need more time before becoming my business beast, I'm good with it, Robert." 

"Time won't help, you've already said… it's just… last week I thought I was serving another seven years — and then probably more than that. I was…" he touched his cheek. It was still cut and bruised from that last fight with Barney, and he shivered at the memory of his eyes. 

"You're not in there."

"But I am," he looked at her. "I am."

"I take back what I said earlier… okay. Facing your family and Aaron, it's not going to get easier, no matter how long you wait… and you could've been in contact with them all this time. So why waste more not doing what you want?"

He sighed.

"BUT," she held up her hand. "It's okay you feel all unsteady on your feet and like you not fully out of prison yet. That's probably totally reasonable… I do think you should talk to my friend Betty."

"The counselor that works with the people you help?"

"Yeah… she's seen and heard it all."

"I'll think about it."

"So, no, then…" Lace shrugged. "Do actually think about it."

He nodded.

She slapped her hands on the contracts. "Now come sign things, Mr. Sugden."

He rolled his eyes and walked over to the table. She handed him a pen. "Where it's x'ed by the date…"

He looked down at where she was pointing and froze. 

"What? Did I forget to sign the Sugden? I've been doing that…"

"No, you're fine…it's the 4th?" 

"Yeah."

"Of December?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Huh," he breathed out and dropped the pen and walked backward till his arse fell on the back of the couch. 

"Robert?"

"It's just… that date.'

"What about it?"

"It's the start of everything."

~~~

"What's this, then?" Chas asked.

"Do I have to be here?" Seb asked.

He and Dennis had called everyone who mattered into the backroom of the pub. His mum, Paddy, Cain and Moira, Charity and Marlon too since they were about. Victoria wandered in, always a bit nosy, and Aaron didn't mind her finding out this way — she was family, and she needed to know. But his attention was on his son, they'd told him two nights ago, and Aaron thought he'd handled it pretty well…

Apparently, it was boring. 

"Isaac's outside, you don't need me to tell 'em, do ya?" Seb said. 

"No, guess not…"

"It's just a few minutes, Bud," Dennis said. "It's about our family."

Seb sighed but stayed where he was standing. 

Aaron felt a bit of relief at the fact he hadn't bitten Dennis' head off — it was progress. "We've chosen a date for the wedding," he said and realized he just wanted to get it all over with himself. His mum was going to start fussing, and he hated a fuss. 

"That's amazing…"

"When?"

Aaron waited. "First weekend in January."

"What?" Chas' voice went shriller than usual. "Honey, that gives no time to plan anything."

"Mum, we don't want a big fuss…" Aaron reminded her. 

"We really don't… just nice reception at Wishing Well, that's what we decided."

"Wishing Well? Not here?" Paddy and Chas said. 

"Not here," Aaron said and glared at his mum.

She seemed to get the message. "Well, yeah, alright, Wishing Well does make sense."

Aaron nodded.

"Alright, I need to get to work," Dennis laughed and kissed Aaron's cheek.

"You're just running off from the fuss," Aaron said. 

"Maybe, be easy on him, Chas."

"I better go out there with ya," Charity said. "Congratulations, though…" and she squeezed Aaron's shoulder. "You've done well with this one."

He just rolled his eyes. 

"Can I go play with Isaac now?"

"Yeah, yeah, go on…" Aaron laughed, but he grabbed Seb and kissed his head. 

Then his mother tackled him with a hug, Cain slapped his back and Moira gave him a friendly nod. Paddy started to babble, and Aaron just let it go through his ears because he wasn't really saying anything. 

"Eve is flower girl, of course," Chas said when she finally let him go. 

"Of course, Mum… but it's just gonna be a small ceremony in Hotten, the up here to wishing Well, alright?"

"We can have it here…" she said but carefully.

Aaron shook his head. 

"It's just a pub," she countered.

"Mum…" Aaron just sighed. "Don't, alright."

"You're going to be happy with Dennis, you know, he makes you laugh, and you two are just… you match."

"I know, Mum. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't think all that…"

"Seb seems better, he finally making the new flat home?"

"I think so, he's nicer anyway..."

"Good."

There was a pounding on the back door. "Oh, that's a delivery, can you go get it?" Chas asked. "While I find the money purse to pay them."

"Yeah…" he opened the door to the delivery and saw the barrels of beer being taken off the truck. A clipboard with actual paper on it was shoved in his face. "This is old school."

"Digital one broke," the kid said. "It's s right pain."

"Alright…where do I…"

"Bottom line next to the date."

He found the date and froze. 

"You gonna sign, mate?"

"Yeah…" he scribbled his name. 

"Aaron?" Chas appeared. "Hi, Charlie."

"Ms. Dingle."

Aaron pulled his keys out of his coat. "I gotta… go, mum."

"What? We haven't even started talking about planning…."

"Dennis is right behind the bar… I gotta go…." He rushed out the door and to his car. He hopped into it and sped off and barely paid attention to the roads or where he was going — it was all automatic pilot, it was all a rush in his blood, and he wasn't even really fully aware of what he was doing…

But then he was at the lay by. 

He turned off the car and sat there. 

And wondered what the hell he was doing. 

He was getting married. 

Married. 

And he and Dennis did fit together. It was nice. It was easy between them. Seb made the waters challenging. And maybe Aaron had an uncomfortable conversation coming up about more kids — but it was easy and nice. 

And settling, a voice whispered in his head. 

But he scoffed. 

What else could he get? And he deserved some happiness. Seb deserved him happy — he was a better father. He leaned back in his seat and told himself to leave. There was no reason to be sentimental or honor the date, he needed to let go of Robert.

He laughed because he really thought he had, but since deciding to sell the Mill, it felt like Robert was haunting him. Again. Leaving their home, just dusted up the past and put it at his fee. Maybe he was here to say his final goodbye to him….

To finally let Robert go. 

~~~

Lace handed him her car keys when he told her where he wanted her to go — she just gave this look that was half sad and half understanding. Tossed him the keys to her car, told him not to get arrested being on parole, and not having a current license but to also take his time and figure out what he needed to do… 

It felt strange but freeing to be behind the wheel, and he probably drove a bit too fast, but he just tried to stay with traffic and remember to use his signals. And he kept getting distracted by the sky, or he was using the sky to distract himself…

It was a reminder he wasn't in a cell. It was a reminder there were open, and big spaces in the world, and his home was one of them. He kept looking at the scenery and the trees. His heart pounding harder the closer he got to the lay by — and he didn't even know why he was going there. 

It just it was December 4th. 

It was that day. 

Decades later.

But it'd been the start of his life. 

His real life. 

The beginning of Robert Sugden, out bisexual…

Not that he'd known that then.

Maybe he needed to breathe the same air to start this next part of his life.

Because he didn't know where it went next, not really, he didn't know how he'd fit into his family's lives. He didn't know if Aaron would even be able to look at him. 

He pulled up to it and sighed when he saw another car sitting there. 

The last thing he needed was some stranded motorist wondering what he was up too… He frowned as he drove by the car, thinking about just speeding past when he looked right in the driver's window and saw Aaron sitting there chewing on his lip.

He slammed on the breaks on instinct. 

The car skidded a bit.

Robert felt like an idiot as soon as he did it. 

He heard a door slam.

"OI, WHAT YOU PLAYING AT?" Aaron yelled.

Robert smiled. How could he not, and he got out of the car. "Still have that sparkling people-pleasing personality, I see." It just came out of his mouth, and maybe it was wrong, but what would be right. What could he really say?

But it took him a bit to get the courage to look up. 

And when he did, a fist hit his eye. 

He stumbled backward and fell to the ground. 

"Shit, shit…" Aaron swore, and he was on the ground with. "Are you alright, I'm sorry."

"Think I earned that…" he muttered. 

Aaron was touching his cheek, though. "What's this?"

"It's nothing."

Aaron sighed. "Nothing, that's what you say?"

"Wasn't the first thing I said."

"Yeah, all I heard was smug…" 

"Aaron," he whispered it unable to stop himself from calling his husband his name, and the blue eyes he dreamed about every night were real and right in his face. Full of tears, he put there, as always, he thought, and his hand flew up to Aaron's face, catching one with his hand. 

"Robert…." Aaron just breathed his name.


	14. Chapter 14

"Aaron..." 

That sound, because it wasn't his name, not really, it was the sound of someone telling him he was safe, that he was home, that he was loved. That he was everything. He knew that sound better than his voice, better than any other sound in the world, and he hadn't heard it years. He blinked and felt tears fall because of the softness of it, the air of it, the way it made him feel like he'd found where he belonged and felt himself make the sound that followed it, that echoed it, that matched it. 

"Robert..." 

He was right in front of him, on the ground, the both of them, and hadn't they'd been here before -- so many times. It felt like deja vu, and it felt like a dream, and it couldn't be, he couldn't handle it if it was a dream. He looked behind him, almost expecting to himself sleeping in his car. 

"I'm real," Robert said. 

"Are ya?" Aaron stared at him again, and his eyes fell on the cut on his cheek. It wasn't new, but it unhealed, and it was reddening up again, as a fresh bruise from Aaron's hand started at the corner of Robert's eye. "Shit..." He muttered again and knowing bloody well he couldn't take the punch back but regretting it all the same. 

"It's fine."

"Stop," Aaron snapped, their eyes met, and Aaron lost his breath at the sight of a shade of blue-green he thought he'd never see again. But reality was floating into the moment. "It's not _fine,_Robert. None of this is fine..." 

"Alright, yeah... I know that," Robert muttered. "I didn't want..."

"To see me," Aaron snapped, and he was on his feet. 

Robert stared up at him from the ground and deflated. 

"Were you going to see me? How long have you been out? How did you get out? Why... How..." A car horn blared behind him, and he looked to see a pissed off driver swerve around Robert's car. 

"Just stay right there, alright, don't move, I'll... I gotta move her car..." Robert jumped up, and Aaron watched him get in the car and pulled it over into the layby, and he kept staring at the car. He knew that car, didn't he? It looked familiar, but he was having a hard time placing it... 

"Her?" he said when Robert appeared in front of him again. 

"Uh... Lace..." Robert said. 

"Lace? Lace the woman who bought my house?"

"Our house."

"Did you send her, were you spying on us before you decided to show up?"

"What? No."

"But, you just happen to be driving her car and know her?" 

"She knew... She found out about my case, Aaron. It's a long story, but I know her from before..."

"Before?"

"From when I lived on the street... She was, she was the person I told you about, the one I never would have survived without..."

"That you missed?"

"Yeah."

"I left a lot out..."

Aaron scoffed and threw up his hands. It felt so familiar, it felt so typical, it felt so perfect, and his heart stuttered. He turned back toward Robert, why had he turned away? He stared at him. "How long have you been out?"

"Bit over a week, not long."

"She got you out?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"There were multiple legal points, and well, she found another suspect."

"What?"

"Another woman, same situation as Vic... It was that combined with I took bad legal advice, and it should never have been seen as murder with intent... Anyway, it was thrown out, and I got time served for good old fashioned GBH." 

"Just like that," Aaron breathed. 

"It's surreal... I thought, I thought I was in there another seven years..." Robert inhaled sharply, and his eyes went wide. "But I'm outside... It's....shit, it's too much." 

"Whoa," Aaron grabbed his biceps and gripped tight, maybe too tight. "Look at me, it's okay?"

"Is it?" Robert whispered. "I was gonna see you today, I was hoping to not... Blindside both of us," he laughed. 

Aaron let out a chuckle. 

"So, this lay by?" Robert said. 

"I don't know why I'm here, Robert. I just saw the date and..." He shook his head. 

"Same, saw the date and... I couldn't be anywhere else."

"Yeah, but..." Aaron sighed and looked at the gold band on his finger, and he felt Robert's eyes fall to it too. It felt heavy and uncomfortable. It felt like the first time he'd ever even really looked at it since he'd gotten it.... And that couldn't be right? Aaron bit his lip and glanced at Robert. 

He looked pale and thin, and his chin was wobbling. 

"Dennis, right," he coughed. "Stealer of chocolate cake."

"Seb..." Aaron shook his head. 

"How is he?"

"Perfect, Robert." 

Robert's chin jerked, and he wiped at his nose. "Yeah, I figured...I figured that."

"Wanna see him..."

"Can I see him..."

Aaron nodded.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Aaron wiped at his eyes. 

"Just like that?"

"Do you want me to keep ya from him?"

"No, but... You have every right too, Aaron. Thought, you might not want to see me at all."

"You're such an idiot. All I wanted to do was see ya, Robert. From the second you disappeared behind those bloody doors that one visit, seven years ago... ALL I'VE WANTED TO DO IS SEE YA...." He paced away and then right back again and glared at him. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING."

"I..." Robert wiped at his eyes and looked away. 

"Oh, now you can't talk?"

"I... You deserved better."

"When did I ever want better."

"YOU DESERVED BETTER...You deserved a life, Aaron. Not having to spend days counting down to see your murderer husband once a month at most with me all the way in the Isle of Man. You deserved better than to be stuck married to someone who lost the right to touch ya... I wanted you to be happy."

"Without you?"

"You'd have a shot at it at least... And look..." Robert pointed to Aaron's hand. "You got it... And until recently Seb's letters were pretty pro Dennis. Told me about ski trips, the cake, how you started smiling more when you met him..."

"Right little grass..." Aaron mumbled, but he looked away. 

"He is right though? Good for ya? You laugh?"

Aaron nodded. 

"Then good, you deserve that..." Robert muttered. 

"What about you?"

"Didn't I deserve it, Aaron."

"You shoveled a rapist, your sister's rapist... You didn't..."

"Katie."

"Robert..." Aaron shook his head.

"Chrissie. Lawrence."

"That was Lachlan."

"I put them on the road... Max."

"Rob...don't blame yourself for that, or Katie."

"Katie is on me. It was right my feet...." Robert sighed. 

"Is that what you did in there, penance for Katie?"

"Should tell Chas, huh..." 

Aaron shut his eyes and tried to clear his head. But there was too much going on inside of it, all jumbling chaos and he couldn't tell if he was angry or happy, or relieved, or terrified...

He opened his eyes, and one look at Robert showed him all of that echoed back. He took a clearing breath and decided on the one thing he knew was true, the one thing that was vitally important and had the only clear cut answer. 

"Let me take ya to see our son."

Robert sobbed out a yes.


	15. Chapter 15

Aaron kept looking in the rearview mirror as he drove back into Emmerdale. His breath catching in his throat every time he caught sight of Robert's face behind the steering wheel of the car behind him. He had to remind himself to breathe, and he'd bite his lip just to see if it hurt. The Mill came into view and pulling up next to it, parking right in front of it felt second nature. It even felt familiar to have Robert behind him in another car. 

But it was surreal, and Aaron half kept thinking he was going to wake up. They got out of their cars at the same time, two doors slamming shut in sync, and Aaron found himself locking his gaze with Robert, and it was like no time passed, it was like they were alone in the world… 

At least for a split second. 

Until his eyes found all the differences because how could he not spot them? The bruise on his cheek and his frame was thinner, his jawline jutting more than Aaron had ever seen it. He wasn't standing as straight as he used too, but Aaron could tell he was trying to keep his old cocky exterior on… He looked wary, like he was watching everything around him, and that sent Aaron straight back to prison himself. 

Robert had seven years of it. 

Aaron felt like his chest hurt. 

"You still sure about this?" Robert asked, and Aaron wondered he'd missed him walking closer. 

"Of course," he said, though he really wasn't at all because this was a lot, and it was a shock. But the idea of keeping Seb in the dark about Robert grated against Aaron like sandpaper. He didn't want to keep them apart, he'd never want that… 

"You're in charge," Robert said. "I mean, I have no rights…"

"You're his father."

"I left him."

Aaron shook his head. "Come on…he was outside the Woolie kicking around a ball with Isaac when I left. He can't be far."

"The Woolpack?"

"Yeah?" Aaron said.

"Aaron…" Robert let out a breath. 

"We can sneak you in the back," Aaron said, realizing as he did Dennis would be there and what was he supposed to say, or do, or feel…. He swallowed it all down. "Let's just focus on Seb, we'll tell whoever they can do one."

Robert smiled and shook his head. "Yeah… you know, waiting won't make anything easier."

"Suppose not."

They started walking and fell into step together. And that surreal familiarity was waving through Aaron again. He glanced to the side and felt a bit smacked in the face with Robert. Tall. Blonde. Freckled. Fit. Even if he was too thin, even if he looked too pale and not quite his usual smug nightmare self. It was there, and he caught Robert glancing at him and wondered what he was thinking, wondering what changes he might be noting…

He thought he looked the same.

But seven years was a long time. 

"Aaron…" Priya said on habit as she passed him, and then she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Hiya," Robert said and then rolled his eyes as they passed her. 

Aaron started laughing.

"What else do I say?"

"She's off to tell Leyla, I'm sure…" Aaron looked behind him. "Village will know in five minutes."

"Give it two."

Aaron grinned, and they were at their location, he glanced around, but there was no sign of two little boys. "Might be inside, wanting a snack, probably," he said. 

"Yeah…" Robert hesitated again. 

"Will tell them to do one…" Aaron reminded him.

"What if Seb… what if he doesn't wanna see me."

"Are you daft?"

Robert shrugged.

"He loves ya… he rushes to the post on the days your letters are meant to arrive. He'll love seeing ya."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Come on…" 

They made their way into the backroom of the pub and Charity was sitting on the couch, her legs up on the table and a biscuit halfway into her mouth. Aaron rolled his eyes since he was pretty sure she was meant to be working. "Where's Seb?" he asked. 

"Am I your child's keeper?"

"She doesn't even know where her own kids are probably," Robert muttered.

"Now listen…" Charity jumped up, and then she just dropped the biscuit. 

"Hiya," Robert said again. 

Aaron couldn't stop the chuckle. 

Charity stared.

"I think she's speechless," Robert said.

"Bloody unlikely," Aaron said.

"CHASSSSSSSSSSS," Charity yelled, sounding like a banshee from a horror movie. 

"There it is…" Robert muttered. 

Aaron sighed and tried to prepare himself for his mum's reaction. Because the truth was he wasn't all sure what she might do, what she might say, and he scrambled to try to figure out to tell her to do one so he and Robert could stay on track. 

"What is on fire," Chas yelled, running into the room. 

Charity just pointed. 

Chas looked and stepped backward. Then she was looking at Aaron and back at Robert. Aaron's eyes landed on Robert then, and he could tell he was worried, scared probably too, and he stopped himself from reaching out and touching his arm. 

"Chas," Robert said. 

"You left my baby."

"I had too."

Chas shook her head. "You left him and…" she stared at Aaron, and he shook his head at her. 

"Did you break out?"

"Mum," Aaron said.

"Well, did he, I wouldn't put him past him."

"Yeah, and then he walked into the corner pub," Aaron snapped back.

"Didn't we just establish he's stupid," Chas said. 

"I didn't break out… my sentence was overturned, more or less."

Her eyes widened. "How?"

"It's a long story…" Robert glanced at Aaron for help.

"Mum. He just wants to see Seb."

"What, why… never mind… he went up to Cain's." 

"What?" Aaron sighed.

"Great."

"We'll just drive up there," Aaron said. "Come on, let's turn around…"

"Chas, is it anything…" Dennis' voice spilled from the door, followed by his face. "Oh, hey, Babe."

Aaron's entire body went tense, and he glanced at Robert. 

Robert mouthed _Babe_ at him.

He tried not to smile. 

"Whose this…" Dennis asked, stepping closer, and Aaron watched to see if he put Robert's face with the picture he passed nearly every day. 

"Robert Sugden," Robert said and held out his hand, glancing at Aaron. "Um… thanks for stealing my kid cake." 

Aaron breathed out, but he still felt like he couldn't move.

Dennis looked right at him.

"It's a long story."

"Uh…" Dennis took Robert's hand. "Hello." 

Aaron had never seen such a tense handshake his life. 

"Can we," Robert asked him as he let go of Dennis' hand.

"Yeah… let's…."

"Wait, where are you?"

"To Cain's… to tell Seb, he's home," Aaron said.

"Home," Dennis echoed. 

"Well, yeah."

"Aaron…." Chas had that tone on. 

"Mum," he toned her right back. "We're going to go see our son. I'll be back… as soon as, all right?"

Chas nodded.

Dennis sighed. 

"Uh…" Robert cleared his throat. "Chas, please don't tell Diane or Vic… I mean, Priya saw me, so might be a lost cause, but I'd like to tell them myself."

Chas nodded, and she elbowed Charity.

"Lips are sealed," Charity said.

"Who am I gonna tell…" Dennis said, but he was staring at Aaron, and Aaron could feel he was hoping for something, some nod from him or something. But Aaron didn't know what to do…

"I'll be back soon as," he said he instead and he and Robert turned around together and walked out of the pub. 

~~~

"He's fit…" Robert heard himself say as they got into Aaron's car. 

The look Aaron gave him was near murderous. "Let's not."

"Yeah, good idea." 

Aaron shook his head and started his car.

"He's shorter than I thought… but then I guess to Seb most people are supertall," Robert said, and he wished he would just stop talking. 

"Robert…"

"I know, stop talking, I'm trying. I'm nervous…" he put his hands on the dashboard and then leaned back. He felt like excess energy was running through him, and maybe it was adrenaline. Everything had this feeling of not really happening. Only he knew it was… 

It was just around this time he was usually sitting in a cell. 

"I can't talk about him with you…" Aaron shook his head. "It's weird. Innit?"

"Yeah, your right, and it's none of my business right… when's the…" Robert sighed. 

"First weekend in January."

"That's…." Robert swallowed, that was fast wasn't it, he tried to remember when Seb mentioned the engagement. If felt fast, though, he supposed anything would feel fast to him when it was Aaron and another man. There was no preparation or no way to be okay with that… 

"Fast? Yeah, but it was the best date."

"Alright…"

"Anyway, Seb…" Aaron said. 

Robert nodded and felt panic clawing from the inside of his chest again, and he pulled on the seatbelt, trying to loosen it. "What's he like?"

"You've read his letters."

"Yeah, but… it's words, Aaron. I don't see him."

"He's perfect," Aaron said. "He's smart, downright snarky at times. Sweet as pie when he wants… both really and on purpose. He likes cars and footie and reading."

"Reading?"

"Right, little nerd," Aaron laughed. "Don't know where that came from."

Robert smiled. 

"His best friend is Isaac, and he watches out for Eve and Robbie a lot."

"Wow… my nephew and your sister… what are they?"

"Eve is a Dingle," Aaron laughed. "Robbie's all about dinosaurs, we talk."

Robert smiled. 

"He looks like you."

"Robbie or Seb?"

"Both," Aaron said. "Robbie's blonder. Our boy is still ginger."

"Yeah?" Robert smiled. 

"Yeah."

He nodded and looked out the window and felt shocked to be seeing the outdoors. Instead of prison walls that were an off shade of blue that had faded into something that wasn't a color at all. He swallowed and turned from the scenery to Aaron…

_Still bloody beautiful._ He'd never known another word for him, and he looked the same, really… scruffy face, piercing blue eyes, and his hair was longer than it'd been last time he saw him… He liked it better now, his curls been tamed by some product or another, but Robert could see them wild and soft over his head. Maybe his hair was thinning a bit at the back, and he seemed older even if he didn't look it… 

He was Aaron. 

He was locked in time as perfect, Robert thought. 

The car rolled to a stop, and Aaron cleared his throat and realized he'd been staring — probably gazing more like it and felt his face heat, and he turned away. He reminded himself there was a ring on Aaron's finger, there was a man who wasn't as tall as he'd thought and who called Aaron _Babe_. He shook his head and looked out the front window of the car and saw his son running around the farm with Isaac. 

"Shit.." He breathed out. 

"Ready?"

"No… but yeah, always…" he tried to catch his breath.

"Give a couple minutes?" Aaron said.

Robert nodded and did nothing but unfasten he seatbelt. "Think I need them anyway."

Aaron hovered in his seat, swaying closer for a second before he got out of the car, slammed the door shut and yelled Seb's name. Robert tracked him to walking over to both the boys, and a few seconds later, Isaac was running into the house. Robert swallowed and wasn't sure if he was thankful or upset, Aaron was blocking his view to Seb. 

But then he heard it. 

"DADDY…" and a little strawberry blonde kid was running right toward the car. "DADDY!"

Him.

That was him. 

Daddy. 

He opened the car door, was barely standing straight when he was tackled hard by the best hug of his life, he thought, and he curved himself around the boy and flashed back to the first time he held him. He'd been tiny then, and he wasn't big now, but he felt like a giant in comparison, and he'd lost way too much time. 

Seb pulled back and looked up at him. "Hi," he grinned.

Robert dropped down to be at his eye level and stared at him. He was still ginger, Aaron hadn't lied, but it had a lot of blonde in it, and his eyes were like looking in a mirror, and he was bloody freckly and spectacular. "Hi," he whispered back.


	16. Chapter 16

The first time he held Seb time had slowed down and upended his life forever because he'd held him and just known how important that small baby was going to be to him. He'd stolen Robert's heart with one small face scrunch and shown him how wrong he'd been for months -- months trying to deny his son was real, months trying to believe he could ever hate a child. It'd been terrifying, and he'd nearly run. The same fear was making his heart beat furiously at the top of his throat like it might obstruct his breathing. 

He inhaled but didn't dare blink. Time was paused again in the same way, that same odd slowing that was there to tell you this person matters, this moment is important. He pulled Seb into him again, into another hug, and clenched his jaw to try to stave off tears and laughed a bit as his son squirmed in his tight embrace.

"Too hard," he asked as he let go to see his face again, and he ran his hands through his hair. It was a mess from him playing, and he just looked healthy and perfect. 

"A little," Seb laughed. And Robert fell into the memory of the first time he'd heard it and was the same joyous sound it'd been then. Robert squeezed Seb's shoulders and realized he couldn't let go of him. He didn't want too, now that he had him here. But as he took him in, it was obvious how much time he'd missed. Seb's freckles told him he'd missed summers upon summers. Missed him playing outside with the sun on his face and being a little boy. 

He'd missed so much. 

Robert looked away to try to control his emotions, to control the wave of them that wouldn't stop striking him in the chest. But he couldn't do it, he couldn't stop them. Everything felt turned up by a million since he stepped outside of the prison. Everything was brighter, everything was noisier. It was inside of him and outside of him. He wondered if he'd ever remember how to catch his breath...

So he looked away for second and gave into the tears in his eyes and the wobble of his chin. Because he needed to see his son, and he looked back into a huge smile and his son's eyes darting all around Robert's face. 

"You're so big."

"Are you staying?" Seb asked. 

He nodded.

"You don't have to go back?"

"No, I'm never going back," he said.

"But you didn't finish the punishment? It's early, why did they let you out early? They won't change their minds?"

"You're brilliant," Robert said as he tried to keep up with the questions. 

"Dad..." Seb blushed and looked at the ground for a second. But then his eyes were back on Robert's face, and his tone was serious. "What if they decide letting you out early was a mistake, I don't want you to go."  
"Seb, they won't do that, I promise... Some things changed and decided I served enough... Of my punishment." 

"Da?" Seb looked to their right, and Robert followed him and found Aaron. He was standing there, tears in his eyes, and his sleeves pulled over his hands. Like he did, like always did, and Robert watched him sniffle... And felt grateful he was letting him have this. 

"We get to keep him?" Seb asked. "Daddy...Dad's staying."

Aaron nodded. "Some grown-up things we need to discuss, but he's staying, Seb. I promise."

Robert nodded. 

Seb turned back to him. "You both don't need to cry, this is the BEST NEWS."

Robert felt a laugh punch of his chest, and he grinned. "I know, you're right."

"I know," Seb said.

Robert pulled him into him, needing to hug him again, hold him and try to believe this amazing kid was his.... He glanced over at Aaron, who was wiping at his eyes but smiling too and knew how it happened. Robert knew exactly how it happened.

_Thank you._ he mouthed as he and Aaron's eyes met.

Aaron nodded. 

Seb squirmed out. "Where are you going to live, can he stay with us, or will he stay with Auntie Vic? Can I stay with you? Will you take me to school? Will you help me with maths, Da can't, and I hate my tutor... Do you play footie?"

"Seb..." Aaron laughed. "Slow down."

"But..." Seb sighed. "Where are you living?"

"Uh..." He glanced at Aaron.

Aaron nodded, but he was chewing his lip.

"I'm gonna live in the Mill," Robert said.

Seb's entire face brightened. "I can keep my room, right?"

Robert nodded. 

"I can stay right, as much as I want? I don't like our new place."

"As much as your dad will let ya, but he gets to decide," Robert said. 

"We'll talk it out later, alright," Aaron said.

"Why, later?"

"Your dad and I have a lot to discuss, Seb," Aaron said.

Seb looked between them and started to chew on his bottom lip. Robert felt bowled over by the action and resemblance to Aaron. He ran his fingers through his hair. "What's wrong?"

"Do you still love Da?" 

"Always," Robert breathed and heard Aaron inhale sharply. 

Seb's eyes darted between them, his teeth on his lip, and Robert almost felt him thinking. And he drank it in and wondered what clever-kid thoughts were rolling through his head. 

"How about you go find Isaac... Let us talk?"

"But..."

"Seb, just for a bit, and then we'll both take to get ice cream."

"I know that's a bribe."

Aaron nodded.

"But I'll take it," Seb said, then he was hugging Robert. 

Robert squeezed him too tightly again for a second. 

"Ow," Seb laughed, but when he pulled back, he put his hands on Robert's face. "I love you, too," he said, and then he was gone in a spray of rocks and dirt. 

Robert swayed where he was kneeling for a second, trying to catch a breathe he knew he couldn't and watching Seb until he vanished inside of Butler's. Aaron's shadow moved over him until he saw an offered hand. He let Aaron help him to his feet, he felt unsteady, shaky... All nerves. 

But he smiled as their eyes met and shook his head in amazement. "Wow."

Aaron smiled. "I know."

Robert breathed.

Aaron moved toward him and then a step back. 

Robert sighed and forced himself not to move closer to him. 

But their eyes stayed locked.  
Robert missed Aaron's specific shade of blue. 

"Aaron..."

"Robert..."

They laughed. 

"I can't..." Robert felt like he couldn't breathe again and glanced away from Aaron's eyes for just a moment. It was too much. He felt too overwhelmed. "There is too much," he muttered. 

"Yeah..." Aaron said, and he was nodding when Robert looked at him. "Don't know where to start either."

Robert nodded, and he caught movement in the corner of his eye and turned to see Cain striding toward them. "Or we can deal with that..." 

Aaron glanced behind him, and his eyes immediately rolled. 

"Sugden," Cain said as he stopped next Aaron, his arms crossed and given Robert the hard Dingle stare. 

It felt oddly good to be the subject of it again, and he noted Cain's hair turned a steel grey. "I'm not looking to cause a fuss."

"No, you just do that by existing..."

"Cain," Aaron snapped. "He's done nothing wrong."

"No warning, no phone call..."

"You wanted me to this on the phone?" he scoffed. 

"It's fine," Aaron snapped, but he glanced at Robert, and their eyes met, and they both knew it wasn't -- but it was between them. 

"Just looking out for ya, and the kid..." Cain's eyes snapped to Robert. "That little lad is a Dingle."

"Good, exactly what I wanted," Robert said, his eyes staying on Aaron.

It deflated Cain, and he nodded.

He nodded back. 

"We're....going to go for a drive and chat."

"Chat in the house," Cain said. 

"It's better we're alone," Aaron hedged.

"Moira and I will leave ya be..." 

"I could sit," Robert said. 

Aaron nodded. 

They walked into Butlers. 

~~~

Liv was starving, and she decided she wanted one of Marlon's burgers over anything at the cafe or in her own refrigerator. She slid onto a stool in front of the bar and put her portfolio down against the bar by her feet. And tapped on the counter. 

Dennis was staring into space. 

She tapped again. 

Dennis didn't flinch.

"OI," she gave a good shout. 

Dennis looked at her, and it was like she wasn't there for a moment before his face when soft, and he shook his head. "Sorry, Liv... I'm just...worried isn't the right word."

"Why?" 

His eyes widened. 

"What?"

"Liv," Chas' voice carried from behind Dennis, and her tone was weird. Liv looked between the two of them. 

"What's wrong? Is it Aaron?"

Chas looked oddly conflicted, but she smiled. "He didn't tell me I couldn't tell ya, just Vic and Diane."

"Tell me what, what about Vic and Diane, what's going on?"

Dennis sighed. 

Liv looked at him and realized he looked upset and then looked at Chas -- and she looked, weirdly happy, not happy happy but weirdly alright with whatever the news was... "Someone talk to me."

"He's back," Dennis said. 

"Who?"

"Robert," Chas said. 

Liv stared at Chas. 

"It's true, honey," she said, her voice going softer. "Aaron just walked into the pub with him a couple hours ago looking for Seb."

"Rob's back?"

"Seems so... I don't know the details, they were focused on telling Seb."

"Where, where are they?"

"Cain's."

"I just don't..." She shook her head. "How can he be back?"

"Honey, I don't know," Chas said. 

"I..."

"He wants to tell Vic and Diane himself, but... Priya and Leyla know you know... I know, Charity...."

"Small village," Dennis added, finally putting a glass of orange juice in front of Liv.

"You saw him?" she asked them.

Chas nodded.

"How did he..."

"Pale, thin, like him," Chas said.

Liv felt like she was about to cry, it just crashed into her, and she sniffed to try to keep it at bay and really wished this wasn't a trait she and Aaron shared. She felt weird and conflicted and guilty. It took her too long to deal with how much she missed Robert herself, then she got angry... Somehow it was always easier to be mad at him. 

"He's back," she echoed again. 

"Drink your orange juice," Dennis said. "You're in shock."

She took two sips. 

"How's Aaron?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," Chas said. "He's very adamant on them telling Seb."

Liv nodded because that made sense to her. "I wanna go to Cain's."

"I think they wanted to do this on their own..." Chas said.

Liv shook her head. "I can't, I can't do it... I can't believe it's Rob until I see him. Is Matty here? Can he drive me?"

"I'll drive you," Dennis said.

"What?" she stared at him in surprise.

"It's not altruistic, I wanna check on Aaron... For him, for me. Let's go?"

Liv nodded.

"I'm already short-staffed," Chas said. 

"Matty will be here in ten minutes, Chas... Please?"

"Alright, both of you just... Be careful."

Liv nodded and handed Chas her portfolio. "Hold this for me?"

"Of course... Give him a good hug, Liv. Think he might need it."

"Which one?"

"Robert... I was too hard on him."

"It's easy," Liv sighed. 

"Can we go?" Dennis said, and Liv saw the worry in his eyes and wondered if it really was for Aaron or if it was about Dennis and Aaron. But she was too much of a mess to check in with him on it, to care really, her brain was still denying to her that what they'd said was real. 

She needed to see Robert herself. 

Her other brother. 

She owed him so much.

She wiped at her eyes and got into Dennis' car. 

"You alright?" he asked.

"Ask me again after I see him."


	17. Chapter 17

Aaron chewed on his lip and sat down and tried to figure what do with his arms. It wasn't really his arms that were the problem, it was his left hand and the ring on it. He didn't know what to do with it or the urge he had to hide it. He shouldn't hide it. Robert knew, and he'd seen it. 

Aaron swallowed a sigh. It wasn't his wedding band, they'd chosen something else, but Dennis had asked him to marry him with it — it was Dennis' grandfather's wedding ring. It was a family heirloom, it had history and Dennis had offered it to him. 

And he'd said no the first time, and now he was looking at the reason why, if he was honest. It took him a lot to get his head around the idea of marrying someone else and what a marriage to a different man might mean, could mean… He'd decided it wouldn't change anything really, he'd chosen to be with Dennis, and nothing was about to get in the way of that…

Robert cleared his throat. He'd put his hands on the table, palms flat against the surface and started to tap his index finger on his right hand, and that was something new. That was something Aaron didn't know or recognize. He looked up at Robert's face, and it hurt to see how pale he was, and his freckles seemed darker by comparison, and it just made him look small. He looked small sitting at the table, and Robert wasn't a small man — it just wasn't Robert. 

"He's perfect," Robert said, and the smile that followed put some warmth back into his face, and it reached his eyes. "I knew you'd be an amazing father." 

Aaron nodded.

"Thank you…" Robert said.

"You've said."

"But…" Robert sighed. "I guess you have questions too?"

"Yeah…I just don't know where to start."

"Me, either."

Aaron crossed his arms and tried to sit straighter in the chair and tried to think of a time when conversation felt hard between him and Robert. Even when they'd hated each other they'd never been at a loss for words. 

"I don't expect anything," Robert said. 

"Like what?" Aaron asked, staring at him. 

"I don't know anything you might be afraid I'll expect. Like custody or…"

"Or?"

"You."

"Right… cause that's how that works…" Aaron rolled his eyes. 

"I just said I didn't expect it."

"Still brought it up."

"A man can hope…" Robert said and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"You wanted me to move forward, Robert. You took off your ring, you sent divorce papers…"

"I know."

"And she took him away, you know," Aaron bit out as the pain of the past echoed around him and how couldn't with Robert right there. He'd ended up with his son, but that it was by accident, it was only because Rebecca died and Vic and Diane understood where Seb belonged. 

"I'd lost you, and I didn't even have my head around it, and Rebecca decided to stop contact. With Vic and Diane too."

"But… I…." Robert looked shocked and then his face fell, and he shook it. "I never thought she'd take him from ya, she knew you loved him. You were his dad, maybe not…"

"I had no legal grounds until you didn't contest anything."

"Why would I? I thought, I thought you'd have him…" Robert sighed. "Well, you've got him now."

"His mum just to die…" Aaron barked out without thinking. 

Robert blanched, and his eyes darted to the door, where Seb was outside somewhere, and he got that look on his face, Aaron always hated to see… It was part haunted and part frightened child. 

"I'm sorry," Aaron muttered. "I… I haven't let him forget her, or that she loved him."

Robert looked like he was barely breathing, and the truth was he'd looked like that since Aaron found him at the layby. An urge to protect him flooded everything inside of him, and he was getting up and finding a glass. 

"What are you doing?"

"Getting you some water, you look like hell."

"You don't have to take care of me."

"You decided that…" Aaron muttered and felt like a child, but he filled the glass up ad put it in front of Robert. "Please, really, you look awful."

"Yeah, well, you're…." Robert stared up at him with soft eyes and a small shake of his head before he glanced away. Aaron felt punched in the heart, he'd missed that look… it'd always meant a lot of the things, but the most important one was love. 

"I've got hairs," Aaron muttered and sat down.

"Where?" Robert asked. 

"There about…" Aaron lifted his hands to his head and his beard. 

"If you say so."

"And I'm balding."

"You already were," Robert smirked. 

"Shut up…" 

"It was all that gel…"

"Don't start."

Robert smiled. 

"I'm angry," Aaron said. "I am."

"I wanted you to be," Robert said. "I wanted you to hate me."

"I can't hate you, Robert… I could never hate you… everything we've been through, and you never figured that out?"

"But you were angry? So part of it worked…" 

"Yeah, as your plans go that's a success…" Aaron rolled his eyes. 

"I didn't think Rebecca would do that… I should've…"

"What? Forced her to let me see him from prison?"

"I would've tried if I'd known."

"Maybe if you'd opened Vic's letters."

"It was too hard… that one letter I sent her was a mistake. I couldn't write to her and not ask, not talk… she mentioned you when she wrote back, and I couldn't handle it. It wasn't feasible, I had to stay away."

"No, you didn't."

"You were better off."

"How do you know?" Aaron snapped.

Robert's eyes fell to his ring, and Aaron fought the urge to shove his hand into his pocket. 

"Yeah, I did move on…" Aaron said. 

"You're happy?" Robert asked. 

"Getting married."

"Aaron?"

"You let Seb write…" Aaron deflected, but it was also bothering him. "You shut out Vic, but you let…"

"I'm selfish," Robert said with a shrug. "He was so little, and Bex had died… I thought he'd get bored after a bit, that the novelty would wear off…"

"You're his dad, Robert."

"I was in prison, you were right there…he didn't need me."

Aaron shook his head. 

"I didn't… I'm not…" Robert sighed. "I used to be so good at talking." 

"You thought so."

Robert took a sip of the water. "I keep waiting to wake up in the prison infirmary and hear the infuriating chatter of the nurse there… I'm still baffled, Lace showed up out of nowhere and that I'm here."

"She's been lying."

"I warned her that won't go over well."

"Why wouldn't she just tell me?"

"I don't know… she likes to know what's going on, have all the information before she makes a move. I think she was trying to see if I had people to come home to…"

Aaron nodded. "Liked her for some reason, despite her being nosy."

"I never thought I'd…" Robert shook his head. 

"What?"

"Was going to say, I never thought I'd see her again, but…"

Aaron felt his breath stick in his throat. 

"You…I really thought I'd never see you again, either, and it's so…" Robert wiped at his nose and ducked his head down. "I really like seeing you again," he mumbled. 

Aaron forced himself to remember to breathe and reached across the table. Their fingers curled together, and he felt it spark up his arm. He stared at Robert's face, his cheeks, his nose, and he spray of freckles over the bridge of it and his eyes, those damn impossibly colored eyes. "Robert…"

The door banged opened. 

"Oi," Aaron was ready to lay into Cain or whoever it was but stopped short because it was Liv. 

She burst in, her hair flying everywhere and her eyes landed on Robert immediately because she was obviously seeking him out. She let out a gasp and started to shake her head at him. 

Aaron turned when he heard the chair scrape against the floor, and Robert was standing and staring at her. His eyes darting every which way and taking in the changes. She'd grown so much, even if she hadn't physically grown an inch, and it awed Aaron now and again — when he managed to see the woman she was and past her being his gobby little sister. 

"Are ya going to hit me?" Robert asked after another beat of silence. 

"Did he?" Liv asked, head cocking to Aaron.

"Yeah."

"Just the eye, though, not that…" she lifted her hand to indicate his cheek. 

Robert nodded. 

"I won't hit ya."

Robert eyed her. "You sure?"

Liv smiled and flew forward and hugged him so hard they stumbled back a few steps, but Robert wrapped around her and let out a sigh. "Hiya, Liv." 

And she started to smack his chest and glared up at him. "You left us!" 

Robert smiled at her and nodded. "Will an I'm sorry work?"

"Maybe," she muttered and hugged him again. "I just miss ya, Rob." 

"I missed you too."

She pulled back and stared up at him. "You look horrifying."

"Thanks," Robert muttered. 

"We're taking Seb for ice cream, want to come," Aaron asked her. 

Liv looked at him, and her entire expression asked him if he was alright, and he nodded, and it wasn't really a lie because he wasn't fine, he was confused and the past felt like it was in front of him, and suddenly his future seemed less clear. He felt turned around and more than a bit thrown — he stopped hoping for the impossible years ago, he'd moved forward, because there was no choice and he'd found and allowed himself to be happy. It wasn't…

It wasn't the happy he'd felt with Robert, but it was happy. 

Wasn't it?

Seeing Robert, though, that was making it all feel pale in comparison.

But was that fair?

Aaron felt like he was getting a headache. 

"Um…" Liv looked between them. "Dennis is outside."

"What? Why?"

"He drove me."

Aaron shook his head and wondered what the hell to do. 

"Maybe he should come with us…" Robert said.

Aaron stared at him. "What?"

"For the ice cream… I mean, if Liv's coming, so should Dennis, he's gonna be Seb's stepdad and…"

"You're serious?" Aaron stared at him. 

"I didn't say I liked it, Aaron," Robert said, frustrated. "I'm just trying here, you know… None of us were prepared for this."

Guilt slammed over him, Robert's words about wondering if everything was even really real. And wondering if he was free coming back to him and Aaron looked him over again, and he looked ready to pass out. He grabbed the water off the table, he hadn't taken more than a sip. "Drink the bloody water."

Robert took it and swallowed a gulp. 

"You could probably do with some ice cream," Aaron cracked. "But are you sure you're up to it… it's been a lot?"

"I'm not letting Seb down, Aaron. We promised."

"We'll make it short, though, alright?"

Robert nodded.

"Go get in my car, I'll find Seb and Liv you and Dennis can follow us?"

Liv nodded.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Robert asked, and Aaron knew he meant Dennis.

"Later… we should just focus on Seb."

Robert nodded and headed out of the house. 

Aaron felt panic rush him when Robert disappeared out sight, and he lurched forward and opened the door, letting out a breath when he was still there, walking down to the car. 

"He's here," Liv said. 

"I know."

"Aaron?"

"What?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Right now, I'm just going to let Seb have ice cream with his dad…" Aaron muttered, and he walked out of the house and blew past Dennis, seeing Seb and yelled for him to get the car. His heart lurched as Seb ran to the car so fast he beat him here, and he was leaning over the backseat and talking to Robert, and the both of them had identical smiles on their faces. 

It hurt to see it. 

It was everything to see it. 

And he smiled because seeing it. Seeing his son all lit up because his father was home felt perfect. It felt right. And maybe seeing Robert smile, seeing happiness on his face, just seeing his face again…

Maybe yeah, it was amazing to see his face too.


	18. Chapter 18

He couldn't tear his eyes off of them. His son and his… Robert. His tongue felt thick in his mouth, and he bit his lip and leaned a bit harder against the wall behind him, hand going to brace himself. Afraid he might slip down. _Might slip…_ It echoed in Aaron's brain, but he wouldn't let the thought finish just smiled as Seb's laughter filled the ice cream shop they were in. Bright and happy and new — it was a new laugh, one meant for Robert. Or one made by Robert. Aaron watched them…

They were side by side, Seb practically in Robert's lap, dishes filled with three ice creams in front of them. Tasting them all one by one and over again. Seb was talking a mile a minute with Robert hanging on every syllable, though Aaron wondered if he'd understand any of it — though maybe he did, maybe Seb's letters had the names of people in his life, of his days. Just now Robert got to hear his voice and see his smile. 

And hear that laugh. 

His eyes fell on Robert... like they'd ever left his face really. He looked a bit dazed, bewildered, but he was focused on Seb — Aaron remembered that focus, being burned under the gaze of Robert Sugden. He'd craved it, he'd missed it and his bit his lip harder. He should look away, but Robert smiled, and it was dazzling, and Seb's laugh floated in the air again. 

"Are you hearing me at all," Dennis's face appeared before his words, or maybe not, maybe words had been for a while because he looked frustrated as he stared at Aaron. 

"What?"

"Aaron…" Dennis sighed. 

"What?" he asked again because he wasn't a mind reader — though he could guess. 

"Just… talk to me."

Aaron tried to look around him. 

Dennis shook his head. "You may as well go back over there then."

"I'm giving them time alone," Aaron muttered. 

"How is he back? Could you just at least answer that one question?"

"I don't… Lace, that lady that bought the Mill, turns out their friends, she got him out of prison. Found another suspect and a lawyer who made an argument his old case was mishandled. I really don't know much… but he's out."

"Lace?" Dennis rolled his eyes. "She spying on us?"

"Maybe."

"He had her…"

"No," Aaron shook his head. "He knew nothing about it. It was fast, Dennis, from what he said… not even sure being out has hit him."

Dennis looked behind him. "Him making inroads with your son sure seems to point he knows."

"Excuse me?" Aaron snapped.

Dennis sighed. "What is he expecting, Aaron?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, and that tracks with everything I've heard about him…"

Aaron's eyes narrowed. "Heard what?"

"He's a manipulator, wants what he sees as his…"

Aaron shook his head. "My mum or Paddy? And just when were these discussions had?"

Dennis sighed. "Don't know, about every time you pushed me away, he was the reason… He messed you up, Aaron, and you barely let me for a long time, remember."

Aaron shut his eyes. 

"I just… you can't expect me to not be concerned about all this. You're really just going to let him see Seb? He's been in prison."

"So?"

"So… seven years in prison, that's not…"

"He's Seb's father, and he loves him… I mean…" he could see past Dennis now, and they were laughing again, and he heard Robert this time, and the sound smashed right into his chest. "Look at them."

Dennis looked and looked back at Aaron. "Yeah, you know what, I'm going home."

Aaron just nodded. 

Dennis stared at him for a beat and then left. 

Aaron tried not to feel relieved he was gone. 

"That looked tense," Liv was next to him now, against the same space of wall. 

Aaron just shrugged. 

"That looks…. Good, though, don't it?" she shrugged toward Robert and Seb. 

"Yeah."

"Rob looks good… pale, but good."

Aaron nodded. 

"How is this going to work?" 

"What'd you mean?"

"The wedding, him being back…" 

"Don't know, doesn't have to be sorted right this second does it…"

"Aaron, just… tell me how you are, will ya?"

He sighed. 

"Aaron?"

"I don't…" he sighed and tore his eyes off Robert — and Seb — to look at her. "I don't know, Liv, and I can't sort that either. This has all just happened, part of me is half sure I'm hallucinating this…" he looked back at him — them. 

"Alright…" she smiled, though. "I knew I missed him, but…"

"Yeah…" Aaron wiped at his eyes, suddenly aware there were tears. 

"I've called a taxi, already said goodbye, I'll call ya tomorrow?" she said. 

Aaron nodded. 

"Bye," she yelled across the shop. Robert and Seb turned in unison. Seb shouted his goodbye, and Robert nodded. Liv left, and Robert ended up looking right at Aaron, across the room, with that focus — the Robert Sugden focus…

Aaron felt the weight of it press against every inch of him as their eyes locked. 

Only parting when Seb tugged on Robert's sleeve. 

He tried to brace himself, but he knew he failed as his heart thumped wildly in his chest as he crossed the shop and slipped into the seat across from them. His son and his… Robert. 

~~~

"Do I have too…" Seb whined. 

Robert smiled at it though, just getting to hear it, to see it — knowing it was because he didn't want to say good night to him. He nodded, though he wanted to cave in, but it wasn't feasible, and he didn't want to disrupt whatever routines Aaron had in place. "Yeah, mate, it's getting late — and I'm tired," he said, knowing it was an understatement. 

"Go on, say good night, and get into the house, Dennis is home already. Start getting ready for bed, and I'll be back to say goodnight." 

"But…" Seb gave them both wide eyes and a pout. 

"I'll be here tomorrow," Robert promised and reminded himself, reminded Seb. 

"You aren't going away?"

"Never."

"I can see ya at home, right… I mean the Mill?" Seb asked.

Robert nodded. "Lace kept your room intact."

He grinned. "Alright."

Robert nearly fell as Seb threw his entire body into hugging him, the two of them held on tight, and Robert forced himself to let go, and Seb laughed a bit. "Not saying good night, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes."

Seb nodded and ran up the door of Aaron and Dennis' flat. 

Robert waited until it closed and turned back to Aaron. "I can't believe you've moved here."

"It kept us close, was our own space."

"I can't believe Kim Tate was even allowed to do this…"

"Progress."

"Yeah, well… you might get a new landlady soon."

"What?"

Robert shrugged. "Lace, she's set her sights on Kim."

Aaron stared. 

"It doesn't matter, does it…just kind of working for her. Thought, I should tell you that, in case you were worried about that…or me. I'm set, I have the Mill and a job…" Robert sighed and looked away. 

"Doing what exactly… I mean, who is she?" 

"I barely know, haven't seen her in two decades…she... she helped me stay alive when I first left Emmerdale. We both did. We had a falling out."

"Over?"

"Me being a dick…" 

Aaron laughed. 

Robert smiled at the sound of it. "Wow, I missed…"

Aaron sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't'… it's…" Aaron looked toward his flat. "I should get you back to the Mill."

"Right," Robert nodded. 

They climbed into the car. 

"It's not dodgy, is it?" Aaron asked.

"What's not?"

"Working for Lace?"

"No…well…" Robert laughed. "It's nothing that's going put me back in prison."

"Are you sure?"

"Fairly…and even if she asks, I'll say no to that, I'll make it clear… I can't risk," Robert paled. "Shit. I can't ever go back there again, Aaron. I don't know, I don't know how…" his breath quickened, and he leaned down in his seat and rolled down the window. 

"Shit…" Aaron parked on the side of the road, unbuckled his belt, and grabbed Robert's hand. "You're panicking."

"A bit…" Robert gripped Aaron's hand, focusing on it and his memory telling him it was the same as before. The palm locked against his own, he knew it as well as his ow. He closed his eyes and let it ground him and keep him in the present. "I won't say Lace isn't dodgy, but she's a good person, what she does, who she is… it's good, Aaron. It's why our friendship fell apart… why she wanted nothing to with me. She got me out, she's not going to ask me to do anything to send me back."

"Better be right."

"I am…" he muttered. 

"She and you?" 

Robert opened his eyes and stared at him. "Me and her?"

"You know.." Aaron rolled his eyes and looked away. 

Robert laughed. 

Aaron made a face and looked at him. "It's funny?"

"She's asexual."

Aaron blinked and then nodded his head. "Wait, she mentioned that… I just thought… it was weird, so I forgot."

"And even if she wasn't…" Robert made a face. "It'd be like being with Vic." 

Aaron matched his face. 

Their eyes locked. 

Until Aaron cleared his throat, let go of his hand, and turned to start the car. 

Robert resisted the urge to grab his hand back, to make Aaron look at him — he hadn't the right any longer. 

"I'll bring Seb by after school…" Aaron said after a few minutes. 

"Alright."

"He won't like going, mind, but maybe you can make him tea and spend some time with him."

"I'd like that."

"Might not be able to get rid of him," Aaron smiled. 

"I'll love that," Robert smiled. "You sure you want him alone with me?"

"You're his father."

"I'm a mess," Robert admitted. "I don't even… I still expect to wake up."

"Me too," Aaron breathed. "But it's… it's what he wants, and you want it?"

"I do."

"So, I do."

"You do?"

Aaron nodded. "Seb's our priority."

"Our?"

"Our son, innit he?"  
"Yeah…" Robert said, biting the inside of his cheek. _ Our_ sound right, felt perfect. But beyond Seb, it didn't belong to them anymore. 

Aaron stopped the car. 

Robert jumped, surprised they were there so soon… "Those flats were closer than I thought — though you still drive like speed racer."

"Shut up," Aaron laughed. 

Robert smiled and got out, surprised Aaron stepped out of the car as well. It kept him standing in place and feeling confused. Aaron walked around the car and stopped in front of him. Robert couldn't help but drink him in, toes to head, and head to toes… he felt his heart speed up again, but it wasn't panic this time. 

Aaron was staring at him too, and he let out sigh….

"Aaron?"

"You're real, you're real…" Aaron repeated.

Robert nodded.

Then Aaron was there, in his body space, arms wrapping around him in a way so familiar and true, he sank into it, his face going against Aaron's neck and shoulder — to that space where he felt the most home he'd ever felt in his life. He wrapped his arms around Aaron, felt him against his body, and returned the hug…

Until Aaron stiffened and stepped out of it and didn't look him in the eye. "I'll text ya before we come over."

"Right, yeah…" Robert nodded and watched Aaron get into the car. 

Aaron drove off, but he stopped before turning onto the main street and looked behind him, and their eyes met through the car's back window. 

_You'll be here?_ Aaron mouthed. 

_I'll be here._ Robert said.


	19. Chapter 19

"Da da…"

"Wuh…" Aaron woke blurry-eyed and then cringed in pain. His neck and back were killing him. As his eyes focused, he realized it was because he'd fallen asleep on their couch, slumped down in a seat. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"I wanna see Dad, do I have to go to school?"

"You can see Robert after school," Aaron said and ended up trapped in his son's puppy eyes. He was quite brilliant at them, and he caved more than he should but not this time. "No, Seb. You're going, what time is it?"

"Nana will be here with Eve to take us soon," Seb grumbled.

Aaron felt uneasy about the thought of seeing his mother. It figured it was her turn for the school run and rubbed his face and tried to wake up more. 

"Seb, you're breakfast is ready, better hurry up," Dennis' voice floated from the other side of their kitchen door. Aaron found another reason to groan, and he was suddenly searching for his phone — his mind totally sure why…

"Here, Da," Seb bent down and picked it off the floor. 

"Thank Dennis for making your breakfast?"

"Why, he does it all the time?" Seb called after himself, already halfway to the kitchen. 

Aaron sighed and quickly opened his phone, only to shut it even quicker… as he remembered why he'd been worried about it. He'd opened the album on his phone he pretended didn't exist — the one filled with him and Robert. He shut his phone and put it on the table in front of him. Just as Dennis sat down on it and gave him a look. 

"What?"

"What?" Dennis sighed. "You slept on the couch."

"Didn't mean too, just feel asleep is all."

"Right…" Dennis sighed. 

Aaron frowned. 

"Aaron…" he started, but the bell rang, and he threw up his hands. "I'll let Chas in…. Hi ya…" Dennis said as he opened the door. "Seb's finishing up in the kitchen."

"Running late then... I wasn't sure if he'd be going…"

"See, Nana thinks I should stay home."

"That isn't what I said, Seb," Chas said and looked at Aaron apologetically.

"After school, Seb."

"Why would Seb get to be off today?" Eve said, looking between the adults. 

"My Dad is back, I wanna see him.. Da…"

"No," Aaron said, and it was too sharp from the look on Seb and Eve's faces. "I'm sorry, mate…" he got off the couch and grabbed Seb's shoulders. "You're going to see loads of him, I promise. Why don't you tell Eve about yesterday, huh?"

"Yeah, tell Auntie Eve," Eve clapped.

"Seb, why don't you take Eve, get the two of ya in the car."

"Alright, but where is Robbie?"

Aaron blinked, realizing he hadn't noticed he wasn't there.

"Vic kept him off school…" Chas said warily.

"DA!"

Aaron just shook his head. 

"Fine…come on, Eve."

"Mum, they're going to be late."

"Then they'll be late, I'll lie about a flat…" she gave him a look.

Dennis cleared his throat. 

Aaron startled. He'd forgotten he was there. 

"I'll make you a brew, Aaron," Dennis muttered as he disappeared. 

Chas looked at him.

He was already tired of getting looks. 

"You look a mess."

"Didn't sleep much…" he said. 

"I'm sure you haven't…" Chas shook her head. "Are you alright?"

Aaron shrugged.

"Aaron?"

He sighed… "I don't know, I never thought…seeing him was a shock, alright. I haven't processed anything."

"They got on then, him and Seb?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

"He's not going to take him, is he?"

"What? No."

"This is Robert and Seb's his son…"

"Our son," Aaron said, maybe too quickly. "We'll do what's best for him."

"Just like that?"

"Of course…" Aaron shook his head. 

"And you?"

"What about me? I want what's good for Seb. That's Robert in his life."

"And yours?" Chas pressed. 

Aaron chewed on his lip. 

Chas sighed. 

"Mum, I can't have this conversation yet… I just… he just got back, it's not even… we have to figure out Seb."

"Alright, alright… just it's Robert, he'll always throw ya, Aaron. But yes, I better get them to school. But see me later, yeah?"

"Maybe when Seb's with Robert."

Chas nodded and left. 

"So, am I getting brushed off with _ we've gotta just focus on Seb _ too?" Dennis appeared and offered Aaron a brew in a mug. __

_ _Aaron took and drank a gulpfull of tea without tasting it._ _

_ _"Well?"_ _

_ _"What do you want me to say?"_ _

_ _"That we're going to be okay, Aaron… that's what I want to hear. I'm the fiancè, we have an appointment today about getting our license." _ _

_ _Aaron had forgotten, of course, he had… but… "When is it?" _ _

_ _"The appointment? In an hour. Do you want to go?"_ _

_ _Such an easy question… wasn't it? _ _

_ _"Aaron?"_ _

_ _"I…" Aaron turned around. _ _

_ _"Aaron? Are we okay?"_ _

_ _Okay? Weren't they always? They'd always been okay? It was what they were, their relationship was okay… _ _

_ _"Aaron… talk to me."_ _

_ _Aaron sighed. _ _

_ _"Do you still love him?" _ _

_ __Never stopped._ _ _

_ _"Do ya?"_ _

_ _Aaron turned back and nodded. "We didn't break up, Dennis… we got torn apart."_ _

_ _"He killed a man."_ _

_ _"A rapist."_ _

_ _"I get that, but it's still murder."_ _

_ _ "Actually, it wasn't… it's why he was let out," Aaron snapped. _ _

_ _Dennis sighed. "Look… I don't know him, alright. All I know is…he left you, and you closed yourself off, for a long time… and I thought we have something special."_ _

_ _ _Special?_ _ _

_ _ _ _"You've told me I made ya laugh again, Seb has… your Mum."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"And you did, you have…" Aaron said. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Then tell me we're okay?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"We are…" Aaron muttered because they were, but the real question was, was it enough… it was echoing in his head. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"And suddenly, it doesn't sound as comforting as I was expecting."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"It's complicated, all right, me and him."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Right…" Dennis sighed. "We aren't going to that appointment, are we?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Just… we should postpone?" _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You're asking me?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I…" Aaron couldn't look at him. "I don't know what I'm meant to do here. He wasn't supposed to get out, so soon, I thought... It was seven more years, possibly more — fourteen was never a guarantee. I'd thought…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"What?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I don't know, I thought I'd never see him again…" Aaron felt tears sting his eyes at the thought at how hard that truth been to live with. It'd been for years now. The idea of never seeing Robert again… always a heaviness inside of him. But it was gone now…_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He'd seen his face. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"And now that you have?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"We…" Aaron sighed. "He and I need to focus on Seb."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"So, yeah, I am being put off with Seb as your excuse."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"He's not an excuse Dennis… just this isn't something simple, is it? We need to get our bearings, all of us, and we can decide if…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"If? Our wedding is now an If?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I don't know!" Aaron shouted. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Dennis nodded. "Fine, whatever, go do whatever you want, Aaron." _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Dennis…" Aaron called after him._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _But he left the flat._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And Aaron felt relieved. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You look awful," Lace said as Robert answered the door. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He blinked at her and shrugged. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Did you sleep?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"No…" he rubbed his neck. "Couldn't, so I read over all the materials you gave me about the business."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"And?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You do realize that even though it is a billions of pounds that the way you want to run will eventually end up losing money?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Kind of the point — remember."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You're sure?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Are you worried about losing a job?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"It'd be years, and with the salary, you've given me — no."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I want to do this, I want to use that money to do as much good as I can and then screw it… it's not ideal. I get it, and people I maybe don't want to screw will get screwed. But I don't even want it, I just have it…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Cause only that one great aunt is living."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"And it's the good one… she doesn't care about them either."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He nodded. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Did you look over the Kim Tate files too?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Yeah, how did you get all of that?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I hacked her."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Of course you did…" Robert laughed. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Just get me Home Farm… I want my sanctuary for the abused."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"We'll get it…" the door rang. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Robert paled. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"It's just a doorbell."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"It's…" Robert swallowed. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Was it outside of prison adjusting that kept you up all night or something else?" Lace asked. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The doorbell rang again._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"It was Aaron, Seb, being outside — all of it. Go get that… just whoever it is get rid of them. I'm the only person I wanna see today beside you is Seb…" he turned around and walked into the kitchen. He put his hands on the counter and tried to calm his heart beating. Everything felt too hot suddenly, and he knew he was on the verge of another panic attack…_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Rob…" Lace was next to him, her voice oddly soft, and he looked at her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Breathe."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I am," he snapped._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Well, slow it down…" she sighed. "I have you that name of someone to talk too…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I know. I'll call it. It's been a day."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"And you already dealt with your ex and met your son."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Nothing is dealt with Aaron — it never is." _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Would you want it to be?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He shook his head. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The door rang again, and a voice shouted. "ROB, ROBERT. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"It's Vic…" he muttered. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Then see her."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I can't…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You can't put it off either."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Lace…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I'll stay."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He nodded. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Lace squeezed his shoulder and walked off toward the door. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He turned on the faucet in the sink to cold and splashed his face. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Oh my god, Rob…" Vic's voice was in the Mill now. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He turned to see her, and it was more overwhelming than he thought. She looked even more like their mother, and her big eyes were just taking him in, and he wondered what she saw — what Aaron had seen — did he look like the shell he felt like?_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Vic flew to him and hugged him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He gripped onto her, sighed into it, and felt something settle inside of him. It felt like a bit of home, like a part of truly coming back and being out of prison. It wasn't the whole thing, he'd probably never get the whole thing — he didn't deserve Aaron. But it was good, and it felt warm. "Hi ya, Vic," he said into her hair. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _She cried and then pushed him away a bit to stare up at him. "You didn't come to see me…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Suppose I shouldn't be surprised it was Aaron and Seb first."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I didn't plan that either… not quite how it happened."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"How, how did you get out?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Robert looked around and found Lace on the other side of the room, talking to a kid — not any kid. Robbie. His nephew and he looked like a Sugden, and relief at that flooded him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"This is Robbie…" Vic said, seeing him stare. "Robbie, this is your Uncle Robert."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Really?" he asked, staring at her. "Robert?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You're my hero," she said. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I didn't kill him," he revealed in a whisper._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"What?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Lace?" he looked at her. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I can tell it, get to know your nephew…" Lace smiled at him._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Who are you?" Vic asked her. "You didn't just happen into Emmerdale did ya?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"No… I had to save him, though, didn't I." _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Why?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"He saved me…" Lace shrugged. "Meet your nephew."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Robert nodded and crossed the room, kneeling down, unsure what to expect this time — it was different than Seb. Seb was his son, he'd been in contact, he knew things about him. Robbie was a stranger. He was a stranger…_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You're Uncle Robert…" he asked. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Yeah."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You're bigger than I thought…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Am I?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Yeah…but everyone is big. I'm a kid."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Robert smiled. "You're pretty big for a kid too… You, you look like your Grandpa Jack."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Robbie smiled. "Mum says that all the time."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _~~~_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Two hours later, Robert leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. They'd all left, and he knew it was because he looked ready to faint or something. He was shattered, but there wasn't going to be any sleep. His head was spinning. It'd been amazing to catch up with Vic and meet his nephew… He'd talked to Diane on the phone, and a family dinner for the end of the week was being planned._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _It was all so… real. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He breathed in and out a few times and looked around The Mill. Better than a prison cell, but it wasn't his home — not like it used to be. But Seb would in it in a few hours, warming it up a bit, making it feel less spartan. Showing him how he'd filled it up for Aaron for seven years — or was it seven years? How long had Bex kept them from each other…_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He wished he'd known. Maybe he wouldn't have been able to get through to her, but he would've tried…it was all too late now, and he frowned. She was gone, and his son and him had dead mothers in common. Something he'd never wanted and fought against when they'd thought Lachlan had killed her… _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _But Seb was alright, he was well-adjusted and happy. Aaron had made sure of it, made sure he was loved and understood, and all the things they'd both promised each other they'd be to their kids — unlike their own fathers. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Children. He huffed out a laugh, he hadn't let himself remember their plans for years now — why was it popping into his head now. Because he was in this house and he was alone, again. And that meant he was thinking about Aaron… _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He'd looked beautiful, and Robert hadn't noticed a lick of aging on him. He was still young, really, Robert thought. He felt old, though, and exhausted. But the Mill been too quiet. It was too quiet now…_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _But Seb was coming, and he'd get a night with him, maybe Aaron would let him stay over? No, he shouldn't push on that or on anything too soon… However, long Seb stayed was up to Aaron alone. Robert was lucky Aaron was allowing anything at all. He didn't understand it, not really, not at all…_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He'd always been half-convinced eventually Aaron would stop him and Seb from writing — but he never had. He was kind, still, his Aaron — not his Aaron. Kind and braver than him. He's not sure he'd be as magnanimous in Aaron's shoes…but maybe for Seb, he'd try it. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The doorbell rang and startled him. He looked at the time, it could be the groceries he'd ordered to have delivered — the thought of going to the shop had just felt like too much too soon. He knew he'd have to leave the Mill eventually, again, but right now, he wanted the safety of four walls. He got up and opened the door and blinked at Aaron. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Can I…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Robert nodded. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Aaron walked past him and inside. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Lace kept it close to…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"She did buy it partly furnished…" Aaron muttered. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Yeah, I thought you were the groceries, for Seb's tea — how hard will getting him to eat vegetables be?" Robert sighed, he didn't know what he was saying._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"About as hard as it was to get me too…." Aaron laughed a bit, his eyes sparking. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Robert felt his heart start to beat at the sound and sight of it. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You have the touch, don't ya?" Aaron said._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Guess so…. Aaron, why are you here?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I don't know."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I can still have Seb.."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Of course."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"We could talk more logistics of…"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Aaron shook his head. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Aaron?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"I postponed my wedding."  
"Oh."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Aaron sighed. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Do you want to do that?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Aaron shrugged. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Dennis seems like a good guy…."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Don't," Aaron snapped._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"What?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Do what my family will… yeah, Dennis is a good guy. I don't care, it's not the point. Is it?"_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Fine… I don't even know if he is, or not, I just trust you not to bring someone who isn't in our son's life."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Yeah, OUR son, Robert."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Robert smiled. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ Aaron walked closer. "I still…I'm afraid you'll fade away. I had dreams about you coming home, but you'd fade away the second I tried to touch ya… Vanish like you never existed but the hole. The hole would be here…" Aaron smacked his chest. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Aaron…" Robert whispered as Aaron grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him closer. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"You're solid…yeah," Aaron ran his hands down his chest. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _"Yeah."_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Aaron looked up at him. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They were so close._ _ _ _


	20. Chapter 20

They were so close, and Aaron exhaled hard. He felt Robert's heart against his palm and his breath on his face. Near his mouth and he looked up from his hands and into blue-green, he'd told himself he'd never see again… It was the only way to try to let the memories — their connection — fade. It was the only way to move on, to regulate it to impossible. It'd been easy in a way after all Robert had started out impossible to have…

He'd dreamt of his fading away when they'd been affair too...Robert always slipping through his fingers like sand. 

Strong hands wrapped around his wrists, entangling them together in an odd handhold, making his eyes drag away from Robert's eyes and look at where his hands were again — like he could forget, pressed against Robert's chest, feeling the strength there, it was harder than it been and thinner. But it was still Robert, and the thump of his heart felt as wild as Aaron's own. 

"Don't…" Aaron whispered, afraid Robert would push them apart. "Don't push me away."

"Shouldn't I?" Robert asked with a soft laugh, in that soft tone that Aaron missed because it'd belonged to him. He looked up into Robert's eyes, and he looked bewildered and a little lost. 

"Never should've Robert…" he whispered a bit of anger rising up again at what'd happened. 

"It was for you."

Aaron sighed and shook his head. 

"You moved on," Robert said, and one of his fingers brushed Aaron's engagement ring, the gold band that looked wrong on his hand — it always had if he was honest.

"Please tell me you didn't pick that out," Robert asked. 

"No…," he sighed. "I shouldn't be here." 

Robert's hands tightened around his wrists, an instinctual tightening that just made Aaron's stomach flip before they loosened, and Robert made a noise. "I get it.."

Aaron saw his eyes, though, his face, and he smiled. "Liar."

"Can't fool you, can I?"

"You can…but not right now."

They'd moved closer, Aaron realized as he felt them sway a bit where they stood. "Aaron…"

His eyes fell to Robert's mouth, and he leaned forward, tipped up, and felt that thing he'd been missing for seven years fill into him as their mouths met. Robert's hands left his wrists, but they fell on his face and pulled Aaron into him, the kiss greedy and desperate and almost too much like their first kiss on that country road. Aaron grabbed onto Robert's arms with certainty this time, though, and tried to take as much as Robert. He missed his mouth, the way his mouth could swallow up his own, his large hands on his face and the smell of him that told Aaron this was it, this was it…

His back hit a wall, and they broke apart, chests heaving and foreheads smacking together. It was all too familiar, something that happened a million times but never enough, and the last time was felt forever ago… yet Aaron remembered every moment. Maybe he'd been afraid Robert would get ripped away from him that last time… 

"Hey, where did you go?"

"Our last…" it sounded wrong on his tongue. "In that flat just before…'

"I remember, every second."

"It wasn't meant to be the end, Robert."

"I'm sorry…" Robert's voice broke. 

Aaron realized the eyes he was staring into were full of tears. His own hands found Robert's face and thumbed at the falling tears. "I forgive ya."

"How?"

"It's you."

Robert shook his head, and his eyes closed.

Aaron pressed their foreheads harder together to get his attention.

"Are we…" Robert whispered. 

Aaron nodded, and his hands were on Robert's shirt, pulling apart buttons, he needed to see all that pale and freckled skin. He pushed at the fabric, and maybe he made a sound because he heard that soft chuckled he'd missed hearing in his ear. His hands were on skin now, trailing up a path of freckles that he'd never forgotten his fingers tips ending up at the small scar on his chest. Eyes searching for things he'd never seen before, pain that maybe Robert lived through… 

"I never got stabbed," Robert whispered. 

Aaron inhaled sharply with relief. 

Robert's hands were on his jumper, and Aaron reluctantly moved away from the wall behind him, reluctantly let go of him — it felt like it took too long. He touched Robert again and felt those eyes on him, intense and focused and a hand on the scar on his arm and a few on his stomach. "I didn't," whispered. 

"Did you do something else instead?"

Aaron sighed, and nods then shook his head. "Not now," he whispered and kissed Robert, needing to taste him again and again. "I didn't get sick," he reassures feeling Robert holding back, but then he's shoved into the wall again, and he sighs with it, and his hands fall to Robert's belt buckle and pushed his hand inside and wrapped it around Robert's cock — he exhaled at the weight and the thickness. 

Robert froze and nipped at Aaron's jaw and made a low sound. "Shit..it's been."

"Shh…" Aaron started to stroke. 

"Fuck…" hissed his ear deep and needy. It was everything. 

"I can't…"

"I know, I can tell…" he knew Robert, he knew them, and he didn't care it was fast that it was too much. Weren't they always too much, he pressed a kiss against that jawline — it was too pronounced but perfect all the same and kept up a slow pace. "Come," he whispered, and there were sounds he'd still woke up hard from that always haunted his dreams. 

Robert fell slack, and Aaron wrapped his arms around him to keep him standing, twisted them around Robert against the wall, and they kissed, their foreheads met, sweatier, and they just breathed the same air. "Upstairs," Aaron whispered after a moment.

"There isn't, I don't have…"

"Shh…" Aaron smirked. "Don't you remember?"

"What?"

Their room was bare walls and folded clothes, of a new wardrobe Aaron never seen and that old bureau with the perfect amount of drawers that Aaron had left behind. He pulled Robert inside and walked up to it and opened the top left drawer, and heard Robert chuckle as Aaron pulled out a tiny bottle of lube. 

"Aaron are you…"

"Just shut up, Robert…" Aaron said and pushed him onto the bed. 

"Shut me up?"

Aaron shut him up. 

~~~

Beautiful. 

Robert raked his eyes over Aaron as he slept. Their legs were tangled, they'd fallen asleep with Aaron collapsing onto Robert's chest and burying his face in his neck. But Robert had woken up facing him, arm slung over his waist, and it was almost like the last seven years never happened. He lived in that second for as long as he could before his mind, and his heart raced and threatened to panic, but he felt Aaron's hand on his chest, by his heart again — and closed his eyes and calmed down. 

He would savor this until Aaron woke up. 

It'd been amazing, moments that brought him back to their first time, moments that reminded him of that last time — where a part of him had thought he'd never touch Aaron again and he'd memorized it. Every kiss, every touch, every thrust… 

Aaron's smile when they'd snuggled together and fallen asleep. 

Aaron was smiling a bit in his sleep, his breath even, and Robert wished he couldn't believe it would stay when his eyes opened, but he knew it wouldn't. It couldn't. He knew Aaron, guilt was going slam into him, and he was going to leave…

He inhaled sharply and tried not to get ahead of himself and settled into the pillow under his head and tightened his arm around Aaron's waist and stared, just stared at his beautiful face. 

~~~

Lace frowned, noticing the bags of groceries by the door and worried about why Robert hadn't let the delivery inside. She expected to find him cooking already, rushing ahead, and trying to make sure his son's visit was perfect. She'd brought a cake with her from a shop, chocolate because she'd heard Robert mention Seb liked it. 

Seb was all he talked about really — when he was avoiding talking about Aaron. She unlocked the door and picked up two bags and walked into the Mill. Expecting to find him sleeping, finally, maybe on the couch, but all she heard was silence…

She frowned. 

Stepped further in, and then she saw it. 

Two shirts tossed carelessly at the bottom of the stairs, along with the belt she knew Robert was wearing that morning. She stared at them and shook her head and peered up the stairs. It was quiet, maybe they were sleeping? It beat Robert being alone on the couch — and it was less worrisome than him not answering the door for the groceries. 

They probably never heard the bell. 

She shrugged and decided to bring in the groceries. 

Then she'd leave. 

None of this was her business, after all. 

The doorbell rang. 

She went to the buzzer to find out who it was — no need to open the door if she was just going to tell them to go away. Robert wasn't ready for too much company, and honestly, she wanted to get in and out. But if it was business, she could meet them out there and take them to Woolpack to talk. 

"Who is it?"

"It's Dennis… is my fiancé there…" 

_Well shit._

"One minute," she said and grabbed the shirts and the belt, and planned to stuff them into one of the grocery bags. But she heard feet on the stairs and looked up and saw Robert there in his boxers, hair askew, and a trail of love bites down his chest… She raised an eyebrow as she handed him the clothes.

He looked down and turned red. 

"I'll get rid."

Robert nodded, and his expression fell before he tried to hide it with a mask and went back up the stairs. 

Lace sighed and went to go rid of the Dennis. 

She hoped it'd be a trend.


	21. Chapter 21

Lace opened the outer door of The Mill and stepped outside. "Are you looking for Robert?" 

"No, Aaron," Dennis said.

"Aaron?" 

"Is he here?"

"No one is, well, except me. I think Robert might have gone for a walk. He's been restless and all — he's nervous about Seb coming over later."

"Brenda told me she saw Aaron heading this way."

"Other places that are this way from the Cafe aren't there?"

"I need to see my fiancé."

"I really can't help you," Lace shrugged. 

Dennis stared at her, and she sighed inwardly but held his gaze. It wasn't like she was lying, which was the beauty of it all. She couldn't help Dennis at all in this situation. First of all, she was Team Robert, second, she was good at reading people — she'd had been for survival, and she'd known from the minute she picked up Robert's photograph the first time she stepped into The Mill that Aaron Dingle still loved him. He'd stared at the photo too long, and it'd looked like it physically pained him to tell her Robert was his ex. Dennis, she feared was just out of luck… 

And there wasn't a thing she could do about it — all that remained to be soon was how fast Dennis was going to find himself out in the cold. From the love bites on Robert's chest and stomach, Lace's guess wasn't long. Unless Aaron panicked. Or Robert could too for all she knew... She always calculated for men to be idiots. That was another way she'd learned to survive. 

"I know he's here."

"So, I'm lying?" 

Dennis frowned at her. "You've been lying, why shouldn't this be a lie too?"

Well, if that wasn't a point, but she put on her absolutely perfect poker face. "I haven't seen him in there as I said, Robert isn't even in there right now."

"I don't trust you," Dennis said. "Let me in."

"No."

He made a face at being ignored. "Look, I don't want to push past you…"

"I'd love to see you try," she warned him. 

"You are obviously on Robert's side. It's the whole reason you are here, isn't it… why the ruse?"

"Ruse? Not really a ruse, more I was looking for information to help me best help him. He was in jail for killing a rapist, that is justifiable murder in my book."

Dennis frowned. "It's murder."

"And?"

He blinked at her. "No one deserves to be killed."

"We are so going to have to agree to disagree there…" she sighed.

"He's dangerous."

"And Aaron's not?" she questioned.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean…" Dennis glared at her. 

"Just saying I gather information, Aaron's pretty handy with his fists."

"So now you're insulting him?"

"What insult? I think it's pretty handy talent, personally. Robert's not dangerous, as long as you don't hurt the people he loves. Which means, maybe you should give Aaron space when it concerns Robert."

"No… Aaron's my fiancé, we've had a long road to where we are. I'm going to fight for him."

Lace shrugged. "Your call, I do believe Aaron's worth it. He's still not here."

"And I still don't believe you…" Dennis tried to push past her to open the door. 

So she grabbed his hand and bent his wrist hard, making him fall right to his knees. "I did warn you." 

Dennis swore as she let go, and he stood up, his other hand rubbing his wrist. "What the hell?"

"Blackbelt, in various martial arts…" she grinned.   
He gave a resigned sigh. 

"If I see Aaron, I'll tell him you're looking for him."

"Don't do me any favors…" Dennis muttered, turning around.

"Oh, believe me, I won't," Lace laughed, and waited for him to walk away before she walked back in. The Mill was silent, she looked up the stairs and wondering what was happening up there. But, as it was none of her business, she shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table and hopped on her laptop…

She did have things to do like, get Kim Tate out of Emmerdale.

~~~

His fingers pressed against one the pink bruises Aaron had left on his chest, it was right under his scar from being shot. A place Aaron's mouth had left a mark countless times, possessive and grateful, and the thought made Robert shiver. Because he'd let Aaron go, he thought it would never happen again, and all he would have was memories… 

Of the first time.

Of the last time. 

Only now here, he stood with another mark on his chest, and his eyes closed, and he was back on the bed, pinned down under Aaron as he sucked on his skin, following a path that Robert couldn't only guess was led by his freckles. It was possessive — he was afraid to hope it meant anything. 

He was stalling. He didn't want to make the moment end. He didn't want to see the look in Aaron's eyes that would call this a mistake. But Dennis was downstairs — and though he had faith, Lace would get him to walk away. It wouldn't be forever. No man would ever simply walk away from Aaron — not if they had any sense. Aaron was too amazing, too special, to rare of a human being…

He'd never deserved him. 

He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at Aaron. He moved since Robert left the bed, grabbed the pillow that'd been under Robert's head, and hugged it with his face buried into it. His hair was mussed up, and the sheets were barely covering Aaron's body. He trailed his eyes, everywhere and slowly, just stared and studied. His memories were strong but having the flesh close enough to touch again…

It was real. 

He bit his lip and tried to decide how best to wake Aaron. He never reacted well to jostling or shaking. A simple hand to his shoulder could cause him to wake in a panic. It was a fine art to wake him up in a way that didn't cause a trauma reaction. Robert bit his lip and wondered if he was really allowed to know those intimate secrets any longer. But he sighed and climbed back into the bed, he needed to be closer for the simplest way… He'd woken Aaron using this tiny trick countless time, and blue eyes would always blink open as a soft shy smile formed on Aaron's lips. He'd thought about that face that softness on Aaron's face a thousand times to get through his harder days inside. 

He smiled a bit that he was getting at least one more chance to do it — even if he hated the reason why. He slipped in next to Aaron, who just moved a bit in his sleep to accommodate Robert's body. He sighed a bit as he carefully moved, so their faces were less than an inch apart, their noses brushing. And he breathed lightly onto Aaron's lips, just a small, steady stream of breath, a whisper of a touch…

Brilliant blue eyes blinked open after a minute, Aaron's mouth quirked up into that soft smiled, and it was better than all the memories. All of Robert's insides swooped, and he felt lit up. He sighed, though, and Aaron's face fell…

"What is it?" he asked, his voice deep and sleepy. 

"Lace is sorting it, but Dennis is looking for you."

Aaron bit his lip and rolled onto his back. 

Robert stayed on his side on the bed, staring at his profile, he'd savor every second he could. Even if Aaron had that face on him, the one where he was worrying and biting his lip as he fretted. He wanted to reach out and push the teeth away with his thumb, but he wasn't Aaron's husband. As much as his entire soul felt that was true. 

"Lace is sorting it?"

"Said she'd get rid."

Aaron huffed out an odd chuckle. "Get rid…"

Robert held his breath. 

Aaron turned back to his side and faced Robert. His eyes dipped down, and he blushed, seeing some of the love bites he'd left behind. Robert shivered as Aaron reached out and touched the one under Robert's scar. It was the same brush of fingers against it that Robert only a minute before. Aaron bit his lip, and his eyes found Robert's. Robert met them, his breath still caught in his throat…

"I feel bad…"

"It's okay," Robert lied. 

Aaron blinked at him. "No, it's not, Robert." 

"We've… our history is intense and…"

"No," Aaron snapped. "That's not…I feel bad because I don't feel bad enough."

"What?"

Aaron shook his head. "We can never be a mistake, Robert…" 

Robert let go of his breath… "But?"

"But this is… complicated."

"Do you love him?"

Aaron nodded. "Have to wouldn't I was going to marry him."

"Was?"

Aaron nodded and lifted his left hand. 

They both stared at the ring. 

Aaron slipped it off. 

"Aaron…"

"I don't… I don't know where this leaves you and me, or me and him… But I won't regret this."

Robert nodded and tried to keep the hope in his chest to a small burning ember. 

"I can't… I owe him things, don't I?"

Robert nodded. "He's a good guy, yeah?"

Aaron nodded. "He… he fought for me."

"Who wouldn't?" Robert breathed. 

Aaron blushed. "Will…"

"I fight for you?"

Aaron nodded. 

_Always_ was on the tip of Robert's tongue but he thought about the last seven years. He thought about how he shoved Aaron away in the harshest way possible to anger him and keep him fighting Robert on the choice — for making that choice for the both of them. He swallowed a lump, but he nodded and whispered it anyway…. "Always."

Aaron stared. "Why, Robert? We never had to be…"

'Divorced?"

Aaron sniffed and nodded.

"I wanted you to have a life, be happy, find love, have a family."

"A family…" Aaron laughed. "Without you? Never Robert…it's not an option. Love, alright, I found something that is love, but it's not… What we have, it's more, and no one ever understood that…but you."

Robert nodded. 

Aaron frowned and looked at the ring he was still holding. "I've got to talk to him."

"Alright."

"But first, I have to pick up Seb and bring him here, for ya."

Robert smiled, and the nervousness Aaron kissed away bubbled back up. He looked down and took a deep breath. "I'm scared."

"Of Seb?"

"That I won't… that I can't be the dad, he expects or deserves…"

"Robert," Aaron's voice was soft. "He just wants you, you are all he needs… All I.."

"I'm…shaky," Robert whispered. 

"It's… you're still there, aren't ya, in the prison."

Robert nodded.

"It'll pass…" Aaron frowned. "It took me months, and you've been there too long when you never deserved…"

Robert wiped at his nose and blinked furiously against tears. "I did, though."

"No," Aaron sighed. "It's the past now, I'll help ya. I'll help ya stay in the present."

Robert nodded. 

Aaron touched his face. 

Robert titled his face into the touch. 

Aaron brushed his lips against Robert. "I missed being woken up like that."

Robert smiled. 

Aaron softly kissed him one more time and rolled out of bed. 

Robert let himself enjoy his naked body until Aaron's clothes made it disappear. 

"I won't even be an hour, with Seb."

"I'll start cooking," Robert grinned.

"I'd… after I drop him, I have to talk too…"

Robert nodded.

Aaron walked out of the room but not without a glance back.


	22. Chapter 22

"You're late," Seb whined as he hurried into the car, getting his school bag into the backseat and climbing into the front and putting on his seat belt. "I don't wanna be late to see Dad."

"He knows I'm running a bit behind," Aaron said. 

"He does? He does still wanna see me," Seb filled with dread and started to bite his lip.

"Of course he does, he was unpacking all the groceries he bought for ya when I left."

"You saw him?"

"Uh… yeah…"

"Why are you red?"

"Seb, just how was school."

"Slooooow," Seb whined. "It's never felt so long in my whole life. Why did I have to go?"

"Because… I know it's new your dad is back, but you have to keep to your schedule best you can even if it'll change a bit now…"

"You mean you two sharing custody? Brian says he barely sees his dad… I don't wanna barely see Dad after never seeing him."

"That won't happen, no matter what happens… that won't happen."

"You sound weird."

"Do not…" Aaron muttered, but he glanced at Seb with a worried expression. 

"Are you sure he wants to see me…" Seb whispered the fear rising up again.

"Seb?" Aaron frowned and pulled over to the side of the road. He unhooked his seatbelt and turned toward him. "Are you that worried about that?"

Seb shrugged. "I don't know, maybe…He's been gone a long time, what if he doesn't like me?"

"That's not possible…" Aaron smiled at him. "At all. He loves ya. He's loved ya since he first saw your face and when Robert loves someone, it's… it's all of him, Seb. He doesn't know you yet, not really, but he wants too more than anything. I told him your favorite is spaghetti, so he's making you it from scratch right now."

"From scratch?"

"Fresh pasta and all… You're going to love it more than my sad attempts."

"It's not that bad, Da."

"Not that bad…" Aaron laughed. 

"Da… can we go then, I've already been waiting ALL DAY to see him."

"Yeah…I… I wanna see him too."

"Thought you already did?" 

Aaron started driving. "I did, but…"

"You missed him too?"

"Yeah, Bud, I missed him too." 

~~~

"Oh my god, this is so good."

Robert turned to see Lace tasting his tomato sauce with a spoon. "Hey, that's for Seb."

"I can't get a taste?"

"You've gotten it, stop it now…" he put the freshly made spaghetti on the counter near the pot. It wouldn't get cooked until right before they ate. He frowned though, looking at everything. It was all set, and Aaron wasn't back yet with Seb. He closed his eyes as he felt nerves start to make his skin crawl. 

"Breathe," Lace said. 

"I am," he shot back and winced. But he was tense, his emotions felt all over the place. 

"You've got to relax."

"I don't know if I'm ready for this, Lace," his voice broke, and suddenly everything felt overwhelming, and the flat felt small. 

"Spaghetti?" Lace smiled her tone light.

He looked at her because he couldn't go there, that wasn't going to work, he felt too tight in his own skin like he might snap. He was panicking and not all sure he could do this — be a dad to a kid like nothing had ever happened? "I can't screw up, he's my kid," he whispered.

"Who would be ready for a kid? I mean, that's a lot… but you love him, don't ya?"

"God, yes."

"I never thought I'd see the day." Lace smiled.

"What me caring about anyone besides myself."

"Oh, I knew you could do that…just never thought I'd see be you, the real you, without it just being glimpses of your heart. You realized you didn't need to put on an act — I like seeing all that shedded off of your skin."

"It's just… It still feels weird, not being in the prison. The freedom feels…not wrong but…unnatural. And Seb…what if I freak out when he's here? Maybe we shouldn't be alone?"

"What about Aaron?"

"What about him?"

"He could stay?"

"No…this is. I mean, we've got to find a shared schedule that works, and it's… he knows I want to be with Seb on my own."

"Shared custody? Is that really going to happen?"

"Of course it is?"

"Not what I meant…" Lace pointedly looked at his chest.

He felt his skin go hot and likely red and absently touched his chest, pressing into the bruise Aaron had left behind. It'd been amazing, just falling into bed together… nothing was awkward about it, and if anything, it was more intense… though, intensity was what had made Aaron addicting from the start — it was them. It was just them, and he felt afraid he wouldn't get to feel again…

Because he didn't really know what it all meant… He heard Aaron say he wouldn't regret it, couldn't regret it — but he'd admitted to loving Dennis. And of course, he did, they were engaged, the lived together. Aaron had let him into Seb's life. Robert really had no right to Aaron anymore, especially after he pushed him away. He wished they were on solid ground, but the truth was they were far from it.

"I don't know what today meant, or means, I don't know. He's with someone and… it's complicated. He loves the guy."

"I think he loves you."

"He does," Robert smiled a bit. "Somehow, he still does…I don't deserve it."

Lace shook her head.

"I don't."

"Maybe Aaron gets to decided that?" Lace offered. "But you don't want to ask him to stay?"

"I need time with Seb, just us, but… I'm worried," he breathed out. 

"I can stay… I can work on my computer while you two do your catch up thing. But keep an eye out in case you need some backup?"

"Thank you," Robert said. 

She shrugged. "It's nothing."

"Lace…" Robert shook his head. "It's far from nothing, I wouldn't even be here… I didn't deserve..."

"Stop saying that," she snapped. "I know, I know I told you I never wanted to see you again, but I didn't mean it, not really. But by the time I realized that it was all too late… When I saw your file, well… Look our past matters to me, you matter to me. I was only pushing you because I love you because I wanted… I wanted to see the guy who cooks his kid freshly made pasta." 

Robert smiled.

"The dork, the guy who was my best friend and I think of as a brother — I always loved that guy." 

"Yeah, yeah…"

"Not to say I don't appreciate your more ruthless qualities too."

The door banged. 

Robert took a deep breath but jumped when he felt Lace's hand on his back. "You've got this."

"Do I?" 

She nodded.

"Daddy!"

Something warm instantly filled him, he wondered if he'd ever get tired of hearing it. Tired of being called Daddy — he hoped not. He never wanted to take it for granted. He hoped he always remembered it should be treasured. He smiled easily, and a lot of his nerves vanished as Seb barreled into him with a hug. 

"Hey," he smiled and kissed the top of his head. 

"School took forever," he whined. "But I'm here now."

"Yeah, you are. I missed ya."

"I can stay here a lot, right, all the time?"

Robert looked across the room to where Aaron was standing by the door. Their eyes met, and Aaron shrugged a little because they had no answers yet and maybe until Aaron figured out some things they couldn't find them. 

"You can see me whenever you want, that's reasonable, how about that?" Robert said. "Still have to go home, to sleep, and to school... But we'll see each other a lot. You'll get tired of me."

"Never," Seb laughed. "Da says I have to do homework while I'm here."

"I'll help."

"Aunt Liv said you helped her all the time with hers, that you were great at it."

"Liv said I was great?"

"All the time, why wouldn't she?" Seb asked. 

Robert shook his head. "Let me just talk to your dad for a second."

"Okay, I'll get my homework out."

Robert ran his hand over Seb's head before crossing the room. Aaron was biting his lip, but he was also smiling a bit. "Uh," Robert pointed at Lace, who was in a chair, her laptop on her lap already working. "Lace is gonna stay, just in case…"

"You'll be fine."

"I feel fine right now, but it comes and goes… Seb helps," he smiled. 

Aaron nodded. "He's good medicine, I know."

"Aaron?"

Aaron chuckled awkwardly. "I'll pick up around 8, his bedtime is 8:30 so want him home by then."

Robert nodded.

"I'm going to find him and talk to him…" Aaron said.

"You don't have to…"

"I want to run it by you," Aaron said. 

Robert smiled and tried not to let the hope get too bright.

"Have fun, start to get to know him, he's a great kid."

"A happy one, thanks to you."

Aaron nodded and looked past Robert. "Seb, best behavior."

Seb nodded. 

"Okay, have fun with your dad."

"I like how that sounds," Robert breathed. 

"Me too," Aaron said as he stepped out of the door, their eyes meeting for a second that felt longer. Somehow it helped calmed Robert further…

"Alright, what homework have we got? He asked, turning around. 

~~~

Dennis was behind the bar, shirt sleeves rolled up, and bent over the bar chatting with some customers. Aaron watched from where he was at the door, thankful he hadn't been spotted yet… He wasn't at all sure what he was going to say, what he was going to do…

Because the truth was being with Robert didn't feel like cheating. The truth was that made it worse, that made what he was doing to Dennis so much worse… he felt awful and horrible. Dennis was second best, and Aaron somehow thought if he consciously avoided thinking it, or acting like it in the day to day that maybe it wasn't true. 

But little things or big things depending on the perspective did show it to be true. He didn't want children with Dennis. To this day, whenever he considered it, he always put Robert in the picture — but he never flatly told Dennis no, just avoided the subject. He'd run to the garage after Dennis' first proposal and taken a week to finally say yes the second time…

It was hard no to compare happys. Dennis had given happiness, laughter, stability, and a future… But it was the future where he made the best of what he could get...

Not the future where he was given everything he really wanted. 

"Aaron?"

He jumped at Vic's voice and turned and met concerned hazel eyes. But also happy eyes and a big smile. "He's home," she whispered. 

Aaron nodded. "Seb's over there now, so don't…"

"I know we talked this morning."

"Oh…" Aaron nodded.

Vic looked at him and then behind him. "Please be careful with Robert's heart… he seemed…well himself and all, but he's not found his armor yet. He wasn't cocky."

"I know, he was in there a long time Vic… give him time, yeah?"

"Are you?" Vic sighed. 

Aaron frowned. "I need to talk to Dennis."

"It's Robert, isn't it?" she sounded hopeful.

"Thought you liked Dennis?" Aaron asked, not quite sure where it came from, but… Vic had supported him through so much of it, pushing him to be happy. 

"Of course I do, Aaron, but…" she sighed. "Robert wasn't here. And I'm right, aren't I?"

Aaron nodded but spoke quickly, "It's complicated, though."

"I know. But you and Rob, Aaron. Don't think I've ever found that." 

He knew what she meant. 

"Aaron?"

He jumped again at Dennis' voice right behind him and turned. 

"Where have you been?"

"Truth?" Aaron asked.

Dennis nodded.

"I was at the Mill, earlier…and just dropped Seb off."

"So, she was lying," Dennis said.

"Lace? Yeah."

"Can we go home and talk?" Aaron asked.

Dennis looked at the bar.

"I'll cover for ya," Vic offered from behind Aaron.

Aaron nodded his thanks.

Dennis sighed but nodded.

The two of them walked to their separate cars. 

Aaron felt wary and anxious. He knew they needed to talk, but a part of him wanted to run from it. Clear his head more. He felt muddled. But a few truths kept yelling at him.


	23. Chapter 23

Aaron ended up a few minutes behind Dennis on the drive down that nearly took them out of Emmerdale to get to the flats they'd moved into. He felt uncomfortable in his skin and pulled his sleeves over his hands before getting out of the car. Dennis was leaning against his boot and looking up — at the sky, Aaron supposed. Or nothing at all. He could and couldn't guess what was on his mind or what he was expecting to hear. 

"Inside?" Aaron asked as he shut his door. 

"Our home, innit," Dennis said with a pointed look before he walked off. 

He winced at the words, despite knowing he'd said it himself about coming here. It was their home — or what they were planning to make a home. But he'd yet to feel at home in it. Despite everything, he'd told Seb to get him to understand why the three of them had to leave the Mill beyond. He chewed on his lip until they were inside. 

Dennis took off his jacket and walked through the main room to their kitchen. Aaron stood in what was meant to be a living room, the heartbeat of the house — that was Robert's voice echoing in his head, from over a decade ago when he was asking Aaron about colors for the Mill. He smiled and shook his head as he looked around the place. He'd left Dennis pick, it turned out to be earth tones, and Aaron really didn't have an opinion on it all. He'd like the blue, Robert chose, mostly because it brought out the blonde in Robert's hair…

Not that he'd ever admit that to anyone. 

"You're smiling."

Aaron jumped, and his expression fell. 

"Good sign?" Dennis asked. 

Aaron sighed. 

Dennis handed him a beer. 

He took it and started peeling at the label. 

Dennis took a drink of his and sat on the back of their couch. "Why were you there, why did she lie to me?"

"I don't know her," Aaron muttered. "For Robert, I suppose."

"That why you were there? For Robert?"

Aaron nodded. 

"Why?"

Aaron sat down next to Dennis and shook his head. "I couldn't stay away."

"From him?"

"Yeah," he sighed. 

Dennis frowned. "Did you sleep with him?"

Aaron nodded.

"You slept with him?" Dennis shook his head and stood up, paced a small circle in front of Aaron. "Really?"

Aaron shrugged.

"Just like that?" Dennis shook his head. "He's... He's been out of your life longer than you knew him, Aaron… He was important, all right, I get that, I got that… but he's been gone, he's ignored you…"

"I forgave him a long time ago…" Aaron muttered.

"He hurt ya, Aaron. More than once, all I heard were stories about how he hurt ya."

Aaron shook his head. "Maybe don't trust my mum as a reliable source."

"She said he was always heading to prison, it was just that killing that bloke was what made it happen."

"He wasn't…" Aaron sighed. "That never would have happened if that monster and his family had left Vic alone." 

"You cheated on me."

There it was… the truth he didn't feel in his heart. 

"Do you even feel guilty?"

"I do…" 

"Where is it then, Aaron?"

Aaron sighed. "He and I…"

"Were a trainwreck."

"He's saved my life more than once…" Aaron said. "You don't know anything, at all about me and him."

"That he's bad for you… No, I do know. I'm seeing it right in my face. Because Aaron Dingle isn't a cheater."

"You're right, I'm not…" Aaron huffed. "I couldn't get into bed with ya last night, and I fell into bed with him. Because he's…" Aaron smacked his chest, hand over his heart. "He's in here, he's still here, and he never left. He never leaves… pretending's never worked." 

Dennis just stared at him. 

"I love him," Aaron said. 

"He's just in your head, he's shown up out of nowhere and moved into that fucking cottage… It's just messing with your head, he's screwing you up. You don't know…"

"I do know…" Aaron snapped. "I do. Look… yes, he's hurt me, he has, more than once and he probably will again, but it doesn't matter. It's better or worse…"

"You're divorced, Aaron."

Aaron wiped at his eyes and shook his head. "It's in here, though, it's not the paper, it's not…"

"No, no…" Dennis shook his head. "You're caught up with memories and nostalgia — it's not real, Aaron."

"Our first wedding wasn't legal… but it's the one, the one that always mattered most."

"You chose me, Aaron. To be happy with me," Dennis shouted. "You swore it, that you would try and we talk, we talked about relationships being hard and word… but worth it. You chose to try again, with me, after he broke you. Why would you want to risk that again?"

"I do love ya, Dennis," he wiped at his eyes. "I do… and yeah, I promised myself I'd do the work, I'd try to make our relationship work because you're a good bloke, Seb, and Liv… my family, they all like ya, and we laugh, and it's nice…"

"Nice?" Dennis snapped. "Never knew how dismissive that word could sound."

"He's a mess…more than I know, I don't know what prison did to him. He's… quiet," Aaron sighed. "But he's still him and the way I love him…"

"Is what, stronger than how you love me?"

Aaron nodded. 

"No… It can't be."

"It is," Aaron said. 

"How, how, Aaron? He's hurt ya, countless times, he just showed up and put your life in a tailspin and set off Seb again…"

"Seb's happy."

"And he should be, it's his dad I get that — but why you aren't closing quarters a bit, I don't get. He left that kid behind too."

"No," Aaron shook his head. 

"You didn't fight for him…" Dennis said. "You never fought for contact with him, ever."

"And that was my mistake…" Aaron frowned. "He, he did it just the right way, hit the right buttons, counted on Mum and Paddy to go right back to hating him…" Aaron sighed. "I didn't fight for him because he made me hate him… but it didn't last, and by the time I got it all truly figured out. I knew what he was doing. It felt too late…then I had Seb. And he at least agreed to write to him, and I had to focus on raising that boy. I never planned to move on…"

"But you did, Aaron. With me."

"I know."

"You said I made the world funny again."

"Yeah…" Aaron smiled. "I needed that, I did, and I wanted it to work. I would have worked for it like we promised, but…"

"An ex doesn't change that."

"It does."

Dennis shook his head. "He's in your head, he's playing on…"

"He's not making me do anything."

"Maybe not on purpose, maybe not… I don't know. He's ruined…we're supposed to be celebrating Aaron. Moving here, starting our new life together, planning our wedding. We finally set a date…"

"And all the other dates were wrong because they reminded me of times with him…" Aaron shouted.

"What?"

"All the wedding dates I hated, it was because of him."

"Aaron…"

"We both know I said no because of him."

"But Liv talked you round…"

Aaron shrugged. "I shouldn't have said yes…" he pulled the ring out of his pocket.

"Why, why, aren't you wearing that."

"I took it off after…"

"After you cheated? Should I be thankful it wasn't before?"

"I'm sorry," Aaron stood up off the couch and held out the ring. 

"No."

"It's over… and it's on me, it's my fault, you're a great bloke. I do love ya, and you helped me through and gave me some light. But…"

"You think you love him."

"I do. I always have… probably since the first second our eyes met."

"Two weeks."

"What?"

Dennis stood up straighter. "He waltzed back in out of nowhere… Seb is beaming with happiness. He was important to you, and he's come back…. Shellshocked — anyone can see that, and you are too, Aaron. From him showing up. Give it two weeks, give us two weeks…"

Aaron shook his head. 

"Please," Dennis lurched forward and grabbed Aaron's hands, the ring trapped between their hands. 

"Nothing is going to change in two weeks."

"You'll see you don't know him anymore, you'll see that all that time you were apart — because of him — did change things. Your past didn't walk back into your life, Aaron. A man who has constantly hurt you did and…"

"Stop it," Aaron yanked his hands free, and the ring clattered to the floor. "Ask my mum about the times he saved my life. Ask her about when he and I were happy…. We were… HAPPY," Aaron shouted. "I didn't know what that was until him and it's gone, it's gone without him. I felt it again today when I was with him…"

"It was sex."

"It was him, it was just standing in the same room with him. It was seeing him and Seb… together, my family…the one I wanted." Aaron sighed. "I hate that I'm hurting ya, I hate that how unfair all of this to ya… But if we drag it out, it's just worse." 

"I can't just walk away from us."

Aaron sighed. 

"You can't expect me to just give up on you?" 

"It's over."

"No… I'm, I'm going to ask your mum for two weeks off, and I'll go see Bodie in London. And when I come back, you'll have figured out that he's your past, Aaron. Not your future."

Aaron shook his head. 

"I'll give you two weeks…"

"I love him, Dennis."

"You love me, though, yeah?"

Aaron nodded and opened his mouth.

"Shhh…" Dennis shook his head. "It's, you just need time to see things more clearly. It's been a day, barely a full forty-eight hours… no. I'll give you space to figure it out."

"Fine…" Aaron shrugged. 

Dennis smiled and leaned forward.

Aaron stepped backward. 

Dennis sighed. "Fine… I'll go ask your mum about the time off."

"I mean it…" Aaron said.

"What?"

"You don't know him, what he did, he did that for me, it was for me at his own expense. I didn't see it at first, no one else does, but I do see it, I know it. I know him, and it's always him. Always."

"Two weeks."

"I can't stop ya from hoping, Dennis, but I'm telling ya. This is over, and I'm… I'm sad about it, I am, there were a lot of good times. We were… good. We were."

"Then what is it some man who just got out of prison can offer ya I can't?"

"Amazing, he can give me amazing, no matter where we're at, or what is going on, or how messed up things may get… he'll give me amazing. And no… it's not going to be easy, and we'll probably hurt each other, but… it'll be worth it." 

"I don't see how…"

"You don't need too…I just won't keep lying to ya, Dennis."

"Lying?"

"I do love ya, and I really wanted it all to work, but the truth is, even before he showed up…all the wedding dates reminded me of him like I said… I've been doubting getting married for over a month. Kept telling myself it was just jitters, reminded myself I do love ya… but I kept comparing, I've always compared — and it was unfair, but it's true. You… you should find something better than that, you deserve better than I could ever give ya, because a huge piece of me, it's never been yours."

"No…"

"Alright, take your two weeks, I can't force ya to believe me. Think about us, what I've said, think about us too, Dennis. And promise me, when you get back here you will accept my decision. No matter what?"

"I… I can't see not fighting for you, Aaron."

"I won't want you too, doesn't that matter?"

Dennis sighed. "I just…fine, alright. If you're still, like this then, and haven't gotten some clarity and distance from having so many volatile memories riled up… yeah. I'll accept we're over."

Aaron nodded and bent down and picked up the ring. "I can't keep this, Dennis."

Dennis reluctantly took it. "This is just until you see…"

"Yeah…" Aaron nodded and kissed his cheek quickly and stepped back. "Goodbye."

"It's not goodbye."

Aaron turned and left the flat, he'd go for a drive until it was time to pick up Seb. Dennis would be gone by then — he hoped. He felt exhausted and hoped he wouldn't have to go through it all again in two weeks. It was over. The more he'd spoken it, the more clear it'd become. He'd never been fair to Dennis, he felt bad and guilty. Sooner was better than later — but he couldn't force him to accept it. 

He'd give Dennis the time, he owed him that at the least. His mate Bodie had never liked him, maybe he'd help Dennis accept things faster.


	24. Chapter 24

_Aaron what did you do?_

He bit his lip and tapped his phone against the steering wheel. He'd been sitting in his car outside the Mill now for a few minutes. He'd tried driving around until his head got clear of the conversation with Dennis. But he kept coming back to the fact that things were unresolved, up in the air, but he couldn't force the truth onto Dennis. And he couldn't blame Dennis for not accepting it — they'd worked on the relationship, done all the right things, Aaron thought. He'd made mistakes and pulled away, and Dennis had always fought for them. He did love him. It was this low-level hum inside of him. The problem was it was a low-level hum. 

And for a while, that felt good, that felt just like what he needed. Something stable, something nice, not dull really, but not sharp. They laughed, and they got along, and they wanted similar things…. But. But there was always a but, and maybe Dennis never knew it, but he had…

He'd always known he'd been settling. 

And maybe he was moving too fast, maybe he was rushing, and things would explode because it was he and Robert… It was never dull, it was never simple, it never felt easy or low energy. There was something bright and sharp about them, all the time, it was tiring at times, exhausting, but always worth it in the end. 

In the end? 

They'd had more than one ending. 

He supposed they could have more than one beginning too. 

He was afraid though, afraid of Robert, of them, of his feelings. Because it was less than two days and he'd just upturned his entire life for Robert. He ended a nearly four year long relationship after one time in Robert's arms again. He sighed, though, fingers on his lips at the memory of Robert's kiss — it'd been better than ever, it'd been the same, it'd held even more desperation than their first kiss. His blood buzzed under his skin, and his mouth twitched into a smile at feeling that swoop of his insides. 

His phone buzzed again.

_Aaron Dingle_.

He rolled his eyes at his mum, sighed and called her. To get it over with, to tell her what was happening and that it just was — she had to get used to it and accept it. 

"Aaron, what've you done?" her voice was a whine in his ear.

He pulled his phone back a bit further. "What did he tell ya?"

"That you tried to break it off with him."

Aaron sighed. 

"Aaron?"

"I did break it off with him, Mum."

"Aaron, why?"

He rolled his eyes. 

"Alright, I… it's not even been two days, Aaron. He looked a right mess."

"Wouldn't you be after seven years in prison?" 

"That's just it, Aaron, he might not be the same."

"He's still Robert," Aaron said. "He is Mum, and I can't…"

"Dennis is good for you."

Aaron shrugged. "So is Robert."

"Robert always ends with pain." 

"Until it doesn't."

"You can't know it won't…"

"You can't know it will…" Aaron shot back. "I care about Dennis, Mum, I do, but…"

"He's not Robert?"

"No."

"It's been seven years, he was in prison, Aaron. You have Seb to…"

"Seb needs him, I need him."

"Need seems strong. You're engaged."

"Was engaged."

"Dennis said he was giving you two weeks of space, to figure it out, to see that Robert isn't the choice you want."

Aaron shook his head. "I went along with that mum for Dennis. He needs space and time. I don't." 

"You can't really think you and Robert can just go back to where you were?"

"Of course not, Mum…but I love him."

"Oh, Aaron, you let him go, years ago, you love Dennis."

Aaron sighed. 

"I've seen you with him."

"And you've seen me with Robert, Mum."

Chas sighed. 

"I'm trying with Robert, I'm going back to him, it's what is it, Mum. Please just accept it."

"Aaron, you'll get hurt."

"Maybe, but Robert's worth it, we both might get hurt, but I have to try, I have to try again with him because… yeah, I do love Dennis, but how I love Robert. I love him more, this isn't a choice. He is just where I belong." 

"That sounds crazy, Aaron."

He shrugged. "Then it's crazy, mum."

"But Dennis is coming back in two weeks, maybe do… maybe try to take it easy with Robert, go slow, Aaron? He's just been to prison, it's been a long time, he might be the man you remember."

Aaron shook his head because he'd looked into Robert's eyes, and he'd seen the changes, but he'd seen Robert too — the man he loved, that loved him. He shivered, remembering Robert's hands on his body, knowing just where and how to touch as if not a second had passed them by… 

"You're wrong."

Chas sighed. 

Aaron hung up, took another deep breath, and finally got out of the car. He walked up and right in, the doors opening for him, and it felt like he still belonged here, like he never left it. But as he stepped into the flat, he heard his son going…

"Shhhh."

He made a confused face. 

Seb from where he was sitting at the kitchen table with Lace pointed at the couch. Aaron followed him and frowned. It seemed empty from where he was standing. He stepped in closer and found himself looking down at a sleeping Robert, a blanket tossed over him a bit haphazardly given him the feeling that Seb must have done it. 

"He fell asleep during Lord of the Rings, did you know he's read all the books?" Seb asked in a whisper that wasn't all that quiet. 

Aaron nodded. 

"Lace makes hot cocoa that tastes just like Auntie Vic's, she says it's because it's my grandmum's Sarah's recipe, is that true?" 

"If she says it is…" Aaron said, walking into the kitchen.

"I'll take off," Lace said. 

"But you were telling me about how Daddy read to you when you were sick." 

Aaron watched her turn a bit pink at that and look down. "Yeah, well, I can tell you that story anytime, can't I…" she gathered up her jacket. 

Aaron frowned and ended up following her to the door. "This is your home."

"No, it's not, I signed it all over to Robert. Don't worry, I have somewhere to go."

Aaron nodded but looked at the couch, then Seb and her. "Did he ask you to stay?"

She nodded.

"Did it…"

"It was great," she smiled. "They worked on his homework, ate, and the movie. He just fell asleep, I think he's exhausted…" 

Aaron nodded.

Lace eyed him.

He suddenly felt oddly exposed. 

"You aren't going to hurt him, are you?" she asked. 

"What's it to you?" Aaron snapped.

She smiled. 

He blinked. 

"I just needed to know. Bye, Seb."

"Bye, Lace."

Aaron nodded and closed the door after her. 

"Are we staying?" Seb asked.

"No," Aaron frowned.

"But Da!"

Aaron sighed. "I want you to get your stuff, and we'll drop you off at Nana's." 

"But…"

"No, buts… I need some time with your dad, alright?"

"Fine. I can stay over here sometimes, though, right?"

"Of course," Aaron smiled. 

Seb got up but stopped and stared at Robert on the couch. "Can I write him a note, I don't want him to think I just left him."

Aaron nodded. "He'd like that."

Seb grinned. 

~~~

He was asleep, then he was awake. He sat up in a split second, confused for a moment about his surroundings. At a soft couch underneath him and the quilt that was tangled up in his legs. He rubbed his face with his hands and blinked at the Mill. Half like he remembered it and half different. Because it was seven years later and it wasn't really his home anymore. But it was, and he closed his eyes and tried to ground himself into the present. Remember that he was out of jail, and he was back in Emmerdale. 

It wasn't a dream.

He shot to his feet and looked around. Seb? Seb was here, where was Seb? He listened, but everything was dead quiet, too quiet, no way it was this quiet with a ten-year-old boy around. Where was Lace? He felt panicked and reached for his phone, but it wasn't in his back pocket. He looked around and spotted and a piece of paper underneath it. He grabbed and felt relief wash through him… 

Seb had written him a note. _Going to Nana's, Da's coming right back. Is the hot cocoa Lace made really Grandmum Sarah's recipe? Love you, Seb._ He smiled a bit and tried to breathe more slowly to calm his heart rate. Panic didn't ebb away quickly, and he'd been terrified something had gone wrong. It had, really, he'd fallen asleep, instead of enjoying every moment he had with his son…

Time was precious. 

He heard the door creak and turned around, another rush of blood, but relief followed because it was Aaron. Of course, it was Aaron — he felt confident in that, and that was precious too. Maybe he had no right with that? He stared at him, though, and Aaron smiled. 

And like that, he was smiling too. 

"You alright?" Aaron asked. "Want coffee?"

"No, uh... Some water, maybe."

Aaron nodded and walked into the kitchen. "A brew?"

"Sure…" Robert followed him. "Seb's not mad, is he?"

"Mad? About what?"

"I fell asleep, we weren't meant to be watching the moving."

"They stopped it, so you two could start it up again where you fell asleep. He's fine, he wasn't upset."

"Really?"

Aaron nodded.

"I don't deserve him…" Robert shook his head. 

"Hey, don't do that."

"What, tell the truth?"

"You do deserve him. He's your boy, Robert."

Robert shrugged.

"Rob…" Aaron sighed. 

"I'm sorry," Robert said.

"Don't be…" Aaron shook his head. 

Robert shrugged again. 

The two of them watched the kettle after Aaron put it on the stove. 

"This is ridiculous," Aaron muttered after a minute. 

Robert laughed. 

Aaron grabbed his hand and pulled at Robert until he moved to step in front of him and reached for Aaron's other hand. Aaron stepped into his body space, and Robert leaned into it, feeling Aaron's body heat and their eyes locked. They both smiled. 

"Aaron?"

"I ended it."

"Just like that?" 

"Yeah, just like that."

"And he let you?"

Aaron frowned. 

"Tell me."

"He's left town for two weeks. He seems to think that'll give me time to remember I love him and not caught up in nostalgia."

"Nostalgia?"

"It's not."

"Isn't it?"

"No," Aaron snapped. 

"You love him."

"Not like I love you," Aaron said. 

"Still, Aaron. Still?"

"Always," Aaron snapped. 

Robert couldn't help but smile. "I never stopped, ever, I know I…"

"I know."

"Do you?"

"I do…" Aaron tightened his grip on Robert's hands. "We have a long road."

"I know."

"But, I want us to figure it out together."

Robert nodded. 

"But…" he sighed. 

"Yeah?"

"We have to go slow, we've got to be careful, especially with Seb."

Robert nodded. 

"You're not okay, are ya?" Aaron asked.

"I'm not…just now, I had to remember I wasn't in prison and I panicked when I realized Seb wasn't…" he shook his head and felt his heartbeat rising again, he looked away from Aaron. 

"Hey, you found his note, yeah?"

"Yeah…" Robert smiled and met Aaron's gaze again

Aaron tugged at him, and Robert melted right into a hug. Felt himself wrap around Aaron and Aaron wrap around him, heads in shoulders, noses smashed against skin. He inhaled as well as he could, Aaron's scent surrounding him and telling him he was home. He tightened his hold, buried his head deeper into Aaron's neck… needed to hold on tight, to remember, to hope it wasn't going to disappear again. 

"I'm here."

"Can we just go to bed… to sleep," Robert whispered, exhausting slamming into him again. 

"Yeah, come on…" Aaron gently let go and kept his hand and tugged him toward the stairs. "I've got you."


	25. Chapter 25

He kept waking up. Eyes blinking open to the sight of Aaron's nose and his eyelashes. Maybe it was why he couldn't sleep because Aaron was right their, their heads touching, and his hands curled into Robert's shirt despite being asleep. Like he needed to grab hold o him, and Robert wondered if it was because he was terrified too — Robert kept waiting for Aaron vanish. For it all to be a mirage or a dream. For The Mill to fade away and he'd wake up alone in his cell having made everything up in his mind as an escape. 

He closed his eyes for a second and opened them again. Aaron was there, and he inhaled a bit, felt tears stinging in his eyes, and blinked to hold the tears inside. Aaron's face blurred for a moment and then came back into focus. He studied him, the grain of his stubble, the sparse sprinkling of gray hair among the brown. There were lines by his eyes that hadn't been there before, and Robert hoped they were from laughter. He never could stand to see Aaron sad…

And he caused it far too many times. 

Tears fell. 

Robert shut his eyes hard, but it was useless. His heart was pounding, and he felt a sob lodged in his chest, wanting to find its way out of his throat. He rolled onto his back and tried to push it all down. Stop the emotion from overwhelming him, but it wouldn't stop. He got out of the bed and felt unsteady on his feet but somehow made it across the room and into the bathroom — ancient muscle memory — then he fell to the tiled floor, pushed his back against the wall, and hugged his knees. 

He couldn't breathe. 

He tried too, but he felt like he was making it worse and not better. He cried and tried to pretend he wasn't. He wasn't even sure why he was… Was it hurting Aaron? Was it waiting for all of this to be a beautiful dream? He felt like a lump was in his throat. He gasped, and it felt like a shout to his ears, he gasped again for air, and it felt like he had forgotten how to breathe. 

"You haven't." 

He blinked, and Aaron was there, on the floor, in front of him. He blinked and looked at his hands — their hands. He looked up into blue eyes, he'd dreamed about them every night and woken up in sweats afraid the sharpness of the blue was fading from his memory. He wasn't sure if it had or not, they were too familiar, too known. He'd remembered every fleck and shade of blue. He knew Aaron. He tightened his grip on Aaron's hands, aware of it now, but he shook his head. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't stop the tears. 

"Robert, Robert, look at me," Aaron said.

Robert stared at him and wondered when or why he'd looked away.

"Just breathe with me…"

He nodded.

He followed the rise and fall of Aaron's chest.

And the racing of heart slowed. 

He licked his lips, his mouth and throat felt dry, but he tasted the salt from his tears. He closed his eyes and felt his face heat, embarrassed and confused. This wasn't him, he kept things together… 

"Getting out of prison isn't easy."

He sighed. 

"I was… a mess, and you were…"

"Seven years," Robert said, his voice sounded hoarse. "I missed so much."

"It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't it?" Robert sniffed. "Seb's this whole person, Aaron. And he's amazing even more than I knew from his letters…. He should resent me, hate me for losing all those years."

"He won't."

Robert sighed. "Because of you, innit? You didn't have too, thank you."

"Stop thanking for raising our son," Aaron muttered. 

Robert inhaled sharply.

"What?"

"I still, I just don't feel like I have the right to call him mine."

"He is."

"Or you…"

"Well, I am," Aaron snapped. "I never stopped, you're it for me."

"Just like that, it's been seven years, Aaron… that's more than we had together."

"But what we had…" Aaron smiled. "Rob, what we had, can have again…is…"

"Everything," Robert breathed. 

Aaron nodded.

"I'm a mess."

Aaron shrugged. "Like I'm not."

Robert shook his head. "We're rushing it. I just got out."

"We're making no plans, alright, day by day. I'm not moving us back in, Robert. It's…"

"Too soon."

"You can see him though, whenever, he can stay over."

"I know."

"I don't…" Aaron sighed and let go of Robert's right hand, but gripped the left as he moved to sit next to Robert. Shoulder to shoulder. "I don't want to tell him about us. Not yet. We need time, and he and you need time."

Robert nodded. 

"You need help…" Aaron said, his voice soft. 

"Lace is on that…" Robert said. 

"Alright…" Aaron made a face.

"You have questions about her?"

"A few."

Robert nodded. "It's not a secret, I just never liked talking about that time in my life, and I thought — I thought she was one of the good things I ruined like I ruin…"

"Hey, no, don't."

Robert shook his head. 

Aaron gripped his hand. 

"She's like a sister… probably the only person besides you I'd call a friend."

"She brought you home," Aaron muttered. "Means I have to give her a chance, huh?"

Robert smiled. "That and she's making me rich."

Aaron laughed. 

"I don't even care, well maybe a little, but it's just because it's… I don't have to worry about dealing with finding a way to make money, facing the problems of being a convict — at least that way."

"What's she hired you to do?"

"Run her multibillion company for her… until the money runs out."  
Aaron snorted. "What?"

"It's a long story… her story. But yeah, but I'm getting paid well enough to be flush even after the money runs out."

"Sounds too good to be true."

"It is…." Robert frowned. "All of this is. I should still be in prison, Aaron."

"You didn't kill him."

Robert sighed. "I hit him though, I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to hurt him…"

"But not kill him."

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't know for sure, Aaron. I was furious in that moment… I still remember it, all of it, the anger I felt, it made everything shaded in red."

"He deserved it."

"And I don't regret it — I just regret what it took from…" he turned a bit to look at Aaron more directly and sighed at the sight of his face again. "I ruined us — again. I did the last thing I wanted to do. Again."

Aaron nodded. "It wasn't like you knew, or could have…"

"Doesn't matter. I acted without thinking, and we ended."

"We're here now."

"I'm afraid."

Aaron nodded. 

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I know, and you don't need to keep saying it."

"Feel it though… not sure I can make up for it. Words aren't enough and…"

"Just fight for us," Aaron said. "I want us to fight for us, Robert. I will, will you?"

Robert shook his head. "Of course, you idiot, I will always fight for us."

One of Aaron's hands landed on Robert's jaw. He moved into the touch, and Aaron leaned in and just like they were kissing, despite the awkward angle, and Robert grabbed Aaron's face. His cheeks full against his palms and his stubble that perfect scratch against his palms. He sighed into Aaron's mouth before his tongue slipped between his lips. Aaron pressed into him and was straddling him where they sat on the floor. Robert broke away from a quick breath and looked up at him and shook his head. 

"What?"

"How is this not a dream?"

"It's not, now shut up and kiss me," Aaron laughed. 

He complied, how could he not, but he broke away again a moment later and pushed Aaron off him and dragged himself and Aaron to their feet. "I'm too old to do it on the bathroom floor…" he muttered. 

Aaron laughed, "Always were."

"Shut up," Robert led them into the bedroom. 

But halfway to the bed, Aaron took control. Hands hot against Robert's hips, under the hem of his boxers on his hips. He leaned up and kissed Robert, this side of too hard, his hands moving everywhere, grabbing tight, and Robert sighed at the desperation. Because he felt it too, he wasn't the only one afraid it was a dream… 

He felt the breath knock out of him as he shoved backward on the bed, and Aaron was yanking at his clothes until he was naked and staring up at him. He expected more of a rush, but suddenly Aaron stilled… his eyes dragging slowing over Robert's body. 

He flushed, felt worried he looked different, that he looked too old. 

"Don't think…" Aaron admonished softly, and he collapsed on the bed, next to Robert, and turned onto his side, the palm of his hand landing on Robert's stomach. His fingers started to trace a pattern, and Robert closed his eyes and leaned his head back… the familiar lazy stroke taking him back to lazy mornings in bed. 

"I dreamed about your freckles, the shapes, and spatters of them…" Aaron whispered, his cheeks and ears red. "But as time went on, I'd wake up and hate that the dream faded. Afraid I…" 

"Did you?"

"No…I remembered right," Aaron whispered, and they were kissing again. 

Robert moaned into Aaron's mouth as his hand wrapped around his cock. His hips bucked, and he felt like he had downstairs, less than twelve hours ago, easily on the verge of falling apart too quickly. He bit at Aaron's lower lip, and grabbed onto him wherever he could and silently tried to will him to slow down. 

And Aaron heard him.


	26. Chapter 26

He woke up where he'd fallen asleep. Nose to nose to Robert. It was easy to smile, and he felt his fingers twitch and press against the skin of Robert's hip. He closed eyes for a moment just to see that when he opened them, it wasn't a dream. He hadn't dreamed, not really, he felt rested, but he remembered waking up a lot. Needing to see the big freckled nose that was in front of him. His whole face, his mouth, and his hair on his forehead. Straight and blonde as ever… Aaron swallowed over a lump, emotions welling up, and a part of him doubting it all. It was there in the back of his mind, this fear it couldn't be true. Robert wasn't back, they weren't…

_You always lose him._

He tightened his hold on his hip and pressed his other hand against his chest. Not hard, just enough, to feel how solid he was, and he hoped his eyes would blink open, and he could see that unnamed shade of blue-green. He bit his lip and held his breath. 

And got his wish. Robert's eyes blinked open slowly, and he made a noise deep in his throat and yanked at Aaron, where his hands were on him. He pulled him in closer and kissed the tip of his nose. "This bed is too nice to stop sleeping in," he muttered, burrowing into both Aaron and the pillow. 

Aaron chuckled and moved his neck into the press of Robert's lips against it as he buried his face into Aaron's skin. 

"Smell good…"

Aaron inhaled too and sighed because it was Robert, it was them. This was home, and he knew it. He frowned a bit, guilt rushing at him about Dennis and the life and he'd been building. 

"Hey?" Robert whispered in his ear.

Aaron sighed as another missing piece slipped into place. "You always know."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Aaron shook his head. "Nothing at all."

"Aaron?"

"That's what wrong," Aaron sighed. 

"Is this about…um… I swear I haven't forgotten his name to be smug."

Aaron laughed, and their eyes met, and they both started to laugh harder. 

"But is it about what-his-face?" Robert asked with a bit of a cocky smirk. 

Aaron's belly flipped and touched Robert's cheek. "First time I've seen that since…"

Robert smiled, taking away the smugness as sincerity took over. "I tried, to use it, as armor…but that's a different muscle, you know. I…"

"You'll find your legs, Robert."

"If I have you, I know I can."

"You do."

Robert nodded and ran his hands into Aaron's hair. "I missed your curls." 

"Yeah?"

"I missed a lot of things I never knew I could…"

"Me too," Aaron said. "And it was about Dennis."

"Right, Dennis…."

Aaron laughed but frowned. "I just...we were building a life."

"Aaron, if you…"

"Shut up…" Aaron snapped. "It's not what I want, parts of it never were, but I was… compromising, and I thought… I told myself I moved on."

"I wanted you to."

"The only reason I did it…" Aaron muttered and felt the old anger rising. "If you'd just let me…"

"Visit?" Robert sighed. 

Aaron nodded. 

"I couldn't..." Robert sighed. 

Aaron shook his head. "It's... We'll find our way through this, all the conversations we still need to have about it. I just… when it comes to Dennis now, I see it clearly now."

"See what?"

"How I was settling…" Aaron shrugged. "It's…I knew it, but I pushed it down and whenever I couldn't… no one really understood. No one really understood us, Robert."

"I do."

Aaron nodded. 

"Their all going to think you're crazy, Aaron. Maybe even I do… don't feel like you have to hide feeling…what you feel about him."

Aaron nodded. "It's…"

"Messed up?"

"Complicated…but that works." Aaron smiled. "But I belong with you."

Robert let out a sigh of relief.

"Don't doubt that," Aaron said. 

"Hard not too…" Robert muttered. 

Aaron nodded because he thought maybe he understood. 

"We shouldn't tell Seb yet…" Robert said. "I just.. We have a lot to…we're going to fight, Aaron."

Aaron nodded. 

"I want us to figure us out again, and how we… it ended and this is a third chance…" Robert's voice broke. "I need us to make us strong enough for the weight of it all."

Aaron sniffed and wiped at his own eyes and nodded, words not possible. In unison, they moved into each other and hugged until they were kissing. Aaron felt himself sigh as he heard the alarm he'd set on his phone start as his mouth met the hollow of Robert's neck. 

Hands skimmed up his back from his arse and into his hair. "Seb?" 

"Not exactly… I do have to go get him from mum, bring him to school."

Robert nodded.

"I'm going to tell them about you, being back," Aaron said. "If that's alright. I'd like us both on his contact information, and I need to make it so you can drop him off and pick him up."

Robert moved to sit up, hesitance in every motion. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure…" Aaron ran a hand down Robert's spine. "You're his father."

"Do they know…" Robert asked. "The school about me?"

Aaron nodded. "It's in his file. He talks about you — there has been a bit of trouble."

"What?"

"Kids…"

"Bullied him?" Robert's voice went clipped. Angry and Aaron felt an odd happiness at hearing it again. 

"We dealt with it, and he's fine, Robert. He's not ashamed of you."

"What did you tell him, exactly?" Robert asked.

"That someone hurt Vic, that they were a bad person and that you were angry and did something wrong but for the right reasons."

"That's generous…" Robert muttered. 

"It's not a lie, Robert."

Robert clenched his jaw and scrubbed his hands down his face. "Alright. I mean, we should tell the school I'm out, you're right. Should I be there?" 

"I'll talk to them today, I don't know if they want to meet you. I'll call you."

Robert nodded and moved and grabbed a phone. "So, uh…have we ever officially exchanged numbers before?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. 

"What?"

"You're such a dork."

"You love it."

Aaron scoffed. "Tolerate, maybe…." He saw the time as he put his number into Robert's phone. "I better go."

"Alright… we need to discuss how we're going to handle him?"

"Yeah…" Aaron sighed. "I need to tell him about Dennis too…"

"Will he miss him?"

"I don't know," Aaron said. "They've gotten along but recently… he was made about moving. I really don't know."

"Tell him it's alright if he does…" Robert said. 

Aaron nodded and forced himself out from under the covers. He stood up and felt eyes on him. He turned and sighed in frustration at the expression of want on Robert's face. It made his skin heat, but his own eyes were traveling, and he'd missed the pull. The pull he felt around Robert was impossible to explain, and Robert was the only one who knew what it was… 

"Get dressed," Robert said with a regretful tone. Then he crashed back down, turned around, buried his face into the pillow. "I'm going to enjoy this bed a bit longer." 

Aaron's eyes traveled down his back and over his arse. He sighed, leaned down, and threw the sheet over Robert. Not that it worked at all to cover the temptation. But he had responsibilities, and he couldn't crawl back under the covers. 

"Sleep some more, you need it."

"Only could because of you," Robert mumbled. 

Aaron let himself run his hands through his hair before he finally really turned away and got himself dressed to go get Seb. He had to rush out of the house. He told himself it was because he was running late, but it was really so he wouldn't just screw the rest of the world. Lock the door of the Mill and stay in bed with Robert for a month. 

He was in a half-run down the street toward the Woolpack when his sister's voice grabbed his attention. He turned and smiled at her, slowing to a stop, and noted she was carrying her portfolio. "Classes today?"

But she was staring at him. 

"Liv, is something wrong?"

"You look…happy," she said. 

He looked back toward the Mill before he could stop him. He felt his smile widening, and he nodded to himself. Robert would alright with Liv knowing. They'd talked a lot last night before finally drifting to sleep, and a lot Robert's questions been about Liv. 

"You're back with Rob," she said. 

He tensed a bit, unsure how she'd react. She'd always pushed him to move on, wanting him to be happy. She'd been there, maybe to often, to help push him to work on having a life with Dennis. Her opinion would always matter to him, always… "Liv…"

"You look so…" she was staring at him. 

He blinked at her, confused. 

"I just haven't seen that smile since…" she sighed. "Does Dennis know?"  
Aaron nodded, but he couldn't stop a sigh. It was part of guilt and part worry because he knew Dennis hadn't accepted it. "He's left to visit Bodie for two weeks, he thinks… He thinks I need to just get Robert and the past out of my system."

Liv shook her head. 

"Are you upset?" 

"At what?"

"Me and Robert…"

"No, no… it's fast, but no, it's not… a surprise. I saw how you were looking at him that first night."

Aaron nodded. 

"I just… I love Dennis, and he was good…" Liv trailed her off her eyes, still taking him in a bit too much. He was starting to feel like he was a piece of art she was studying. 

"Liv?"

"I forgot," she said.

"What?"

"How you two glowed. You and Robert. That… it was always so embarrassing… the expressions and the…glow." 

Aaron felt his face heat.

"I forgot…" she sighed. "You're happy."

"Is that question."

"Not really," she said. 

Aaron nodded. "I'm sure, Liv."

"I missed him too."

"He missed you too," Aaron said. "He was asking about you."

Liv smiled and looked as the bus drove up to the stop. "I gotta."

"Go…"

"I'm happy for ya," she said quickly before walking off. 

Aaron watched her for a beat, relief in his chest, but she was the easiest of his relatives when it came to Robert. Liv knew him better than the rest. She loved him too — it was complicated — but they loved each other. She was their little sister for so long… Aaron felt a sudden sadness at the years of her life, Robert lost. He sniffed and turned toward the Woolpack. He should have driven his car down. The school was going to mad Seb was late, but it was what it was, he decided. He needed to talk to them anyway, so he may as well use Robert's sudden return as the reason. 

He walked into the Woolpack, ready to go around the bar into the back when his mother walked through and nailed him with a hard look. 

"Did you think you could sneak in here?"

"No."

"You're late. I was about to ask Matty to run things while I took himself."

"I wouldn't forget him, mum."

"Wouldn't put anything past ya when Robert's around."

"Seb's his kid too."

"That little boy is yours," Chas snapped.

"Did I say he wasn't…" Aaron sighed. "Mum."

"Dennis was a wreck, Aaron. Asking for the time off, saying you were caught up in the past and emotions. He thinks you'll be ready to fight for you and him when he gets back."

Aaron sighed. "I tried telling him, mum."

"Maybe you should."

"What?"

"You've been happy, Aaron."

Aaron shook his head. "No, Mum. I wasn't. Not really."

Chas sighed. "You and Robert it…"

"What implodes? I lose him? Somehow…" Aaron felt the fear clawing at him from the inside. "You think I don't fear that, know that… But it's Robert, Mum. ROBERT." 

Chas stared at him and nodded. 

He inhaled sharply. "We aren't telling Seb yet, alright?"

"Probably for the best…please just be careful, Aaron."

He nodded and walked past her to get Seb. 

~~~

The Mill felt big. 

He leaned against the counter and looked at the bare walls. He sipped out one of three mugs he currently owned. It felt wrong like this, too much of Aaron been stripped out of it due to his moving out. He focused on the columns and the blue he'd agonized over for weeks. Memories flashed of Liv laughing at him about it all, then helping him with the painting. He smiled a bit at the memory and wondered if Aaron would want to move back in?

Or when he would want too?

They couldn't move fast, not this time, but it would be here they lived, wouldn't it? 

It was too much, his mind was spinning. He wished he could have just grabbed Aaron and kept him in the bedroom. When they were in there, in the bed, it was easy to believe everything would be alright. He nearly forgot he'd been in prison seven years. 

Nearly.

He swallowed and tried to tie his tie again. His fingers felt clumsy with it, and he sighed. He had meetings, just a few, things Lace couldn't put off any longer. He had to meet a few people. Who weren't happy about Emmerdale becoming part of their offices. But they would have to get used to it, he thought — because he wasn't moving to London. 

This was home. 

This village.

This cottage. 

But his fingers wouldn't work on the tie, and the Mill's buzzer rang, and he felt like his bones jumped out of his skin a few feet. His heart was hammering, and he felt inhaled sharply and told himself he knew how to breathe. It rang again, and he took a deep breath. It was too early to be anyone he was meeting, and Lace would've just walked in. 

He walked out and opened the door. 

"Hiya," Liv said with a smile. 

"Aaron told you?"

"Yeah…" she said and walked past him and inside. 

Robert took a deep breath.


	27. Chapter 27

"See you're still dressing like an old man," Liv cracked, nodding at his clothes. 

"I have a few meetings," he said and turned to look at the mirror. "If I can remember how to do this…" he sighed as he fumbled again with the tie. 

"Let me?" Liv asked. 

He turned back toward her. "How did you learn to do a tie?"

"I wear suits sometimes," she deadpanned. "And yes, I know what they are." 

He grinned at her. "You were always fashion-forward."

"Yeah, some fluke that was living with you and Aaron," she laughed, put the portfolio she was carrying against the staircase and stepped forward. 

He bent down a bit and tried to quiet his nerves. Liv wasn't at The Mill for a visit, not really, though she did seem happy to see him. He swallowed a bit as she got the tie tighter around his throat. Suddenly, he was wondering if he could even wear it. He tugged it looser and shrugged. "Leave like this for now…"

She watched him with a sharpness in her blue eyes. It'd always been there, he remembered it. He'd missed it, but it was sharper than he remembered, by experiences and life. Things he'd missed, and he felt guilt slam into him. He shut his eyes and tried to swallow it, but it bubbled up anyway…

"I'm sorry I wasn't here."

She blinked. 

"I'm sorry, I ruined it all — again. And if you don't want…"

"Of course, I want you and Aaron together," she interrupted. 

"You do?"

She rolled her eyes, and she was a kid again — might always be to him, he thought. "You make him brighter, always have, but you weren't hear, and he deserved to try to be happy."

"Do you like him? Um...Danny?"

"Dennis," Liv eyed him.

"I seriously just keep forgetting, it's not on purpose — I don't think."

"Biased towards forgetting," Liv said. "I do, a lot, he's steady and has a horrible sense of humor. Probably why it made it Aaron laugh."

He nodded.

"But…" Liv shrugged. "It wasn't you… Not even to me."

"Are you being nice to me?"

"Maybe I don't have to always be an arse to ya."

"That'll be weird…but nice."

"Are you alright? I mean, you've just gotten out and things…"

"Are moving fast?" Robert nodded. "I, he and I are going to try to slow it down."

"Pfft.." Liv laughed outright. 

"Hey."

"Alright. If you say so," she shot him a sarcastic grin. 

"What's that?" Robert asked, pointing past her to the portfolio.

"Oh, just unfinished sketches for my art classes… I'm skipping today, apparently."

"What?" Robert shot her a look. 

"I'm in my twenties, I can skip school when my brother gets out of jail."

"Show me the sketches."

She shook her head. 

He felt disappointed, but she was a lot like Aaron, so he didn't push it. He sighed and looked at the time. "Not sure I'm up to these meetings, but Lace couldn't push them off…" he walked to the table where he had paperwork organized. 

"You're working for her?"

"Yeah…makes things simpler."

"What does she do?"

Robert laughed. "The truth is I couldn't tell you, I do know she owns a fortune and the majority stake in a company that makes Kim Tate look poor." 

Liv eyes widened. 

"It doesn't matter much, she's handing me a job and well, going to at least try to be good at it. Just…" he played with the tie. 

"Don't undo it," Liv said. 

"I don't think I can wear it…" he shivered a bit. 

"You're shaking."

He nodded.

"Sit," Liv ordered. 

He found himself on the couch. She sat across from him on the table. "Want me to call Aaron?"

He shook his head. "It'll go…it'll come back. But Lace has names of people I can talk with. I'm going to try to get a quick appointment with one."

Liv nodded. 

"I'll be alright," Robert said. "I have Aaron, Seb, and…" 

"Yes, me," Liv said. 

He grinned. 

She made a face. "Fine, you can see them…." 

He twisted around a bit and watched her get her portfolio. She looked inside it and flipped through pages and tubes. He wished he could catch a glimpse of some of it. "Looking for something specific?"

'Yeah…ah here it is." She pulled out a poster tube and opened it, then all he saw was paper until she was in front of him and holding up a rough sketch of Aaron and Seb standing on the bridge in the village. Seb barely up to Aaron's waist but beaming up at him and Aaron with his hands on Seb's shoulders and beaming right back. 

"It was a bit after he got Seb, it was the first time he really smiled in so long, and it seemed like it was a first for Seb too. I didn't really do it justice, I just needed to try…"

"It's brilliant, Liv." 

She shrugged. 

"It is," he said again. "Might be biased on the subjects."

"A bit… but so am I."

"You should finish it."

"Maybe…" she shrugged again. "Not sure I can…not how I want it."

Robert shook his head. "Of course you can, Liv."

"I'll think about it."

"You should get to your class."

"No more busses," she said. "It's alright, I can go tomorrow."

Robert frowned. 

"I just needed to see you…"

He nodded.

"Aaron was glowing."

"What?"

"So do you, when I bring him up… I'm sad about Dennis, but we missed you, we both really did..." She trailed off, and her voice got harder. "Don't leave ever again."

He nodded. 

She nodded back. 

There was a shrill ringing. 

Robert jumped, hand going to his throat, and watched Liv pull a phone out o her pocket. He let out a relieved breath and felt his skin heat at his reaction to the sudden noise. 

"Are ya?" Liv looked worried. 

"I'm fine, you should get that, that's a France area code…" he pointed at her cell. 

She looked at it and frowned. 

"Liv?"

"Best, I let it go to voicemail…" she muttered and looked away. 

"Liv?"

"It's just this program. They offered me a spot on this scholarship, but…"

"But what? Is it an art school in France?"

"Yeah, but it's not a good time to leave…." Liv muttered.

"Because I'm home?"

"What no because of the wedd— that's not happening," Liv frowned. 

"Liv?"

She shook her head. "I better get out here before our meetings show, up, huh… I'll leave this." She put the sketch back into its tube and placed it on the kitchen table. 

"Liv.." Robert stepped after her.

She turned and flew at him a hug.

He felt himself melt into it and gripped at her. "I missed you."

"Me too… Don't get used to the soppy stuff," she laughed, and Robert blinked, and she was gone. 

Robert ran a hand down the back of his head and tried to figure out what he'd just missed. He pursed his lips and turned to look at the poster tube. He stepped closer to pull the artwork back out. He grinned madly at it — he really did love the subjects of the art. Aaron was art on his own, he thought idly…

He gulped, feeling overwhelmed with his third chance. 

It almost felt too easy. 

He stared at the sketch, and Liv was talented. 

France talented. 

Not Emmerdale talented. 

He needed to ask Aaron about it.

~~~

"Seb feet down."

Seb pulled his feet down from where he'd planted them on the dashboard of the car. He fidgeted in his seat, as much as the seatbelt would let him. He looked out the window. "Since I'm late anyway…"

"You're going to school."

"Why were you late?" Seb looked at Aaron and watched his Dad's cheeks go pink. "Da?"

"I um… I needed to talk to your Dad about something."

"Me?"

"No, no…though we did talk about you."

"I can see him after school, right?"

"Yeah, of course, we'll call him after I pick you up."

"Do I have to go… I've missed loads."

"Stop trying, Bud."

Seb sighed. "What did you need to talk to Daddy about?"

"Oh, um… adult stuff."

"Why was I at Nana's last night?"

"Oh, that was because, well…." Aaron sighed and pulled to the side of the road.

Seb watched him confused. They were already really late. 

"Alright, the thing is last night, I broke up with Dennis."

Seb nodded.

Aaron stared at him. "Do you have any questions?"

"Not really. Daddy's back," Seb shrugged. 

"Well, yeah, but that's not…I mean, it is a factor, but…it was for the best anyway."

"I know," Seb beamed. "I knew you wouldn't marry him."

"Did you?"

Seb nodded. "He's still going to work at the Woolpack, right?"

"Uh… I suppose."

"Will he still give me an extra chocolate cake?"

Aaron laughed. "You aren't upset or anything, he's been living with us a while."

"I'll still see him around… Can we move back home?"

"You will… oh, no… We aren't doing that."

"Why not? It's home."

"It's… your Dad's place."

"He'd want us there, Da!"

"That's adult stuff, Seb."

"Fine, I'll try to be patient for it." He sighed. "You know, now I'm even later and like half the day…"

Aaron started the car. "You're going to school."

"Fiiiine." 

Seb looked out the window and leaned forward a bit, about to tip his head out of it.

"Seb, head inside."

"Alright…" he sat back and sighed. "I will miss him a bit. He's nice and all."

"He is nice."

"But he's not Daddy."

"No, he's not."

Seb grinned.


	28. Chapter 28

"Take it off," Lace muttered, not looking up from her laptop. 

Robert fiddled with the knot of his tie. "It'd be unprofessional."

"I'm in a Queen t-shirt and skinny jeans."

"One of us should be professional."

"Why?" Lace scoffed. "I don't care what they think, they're all going to sell out of the company eventually. They just think they have a shot of saving it from me."

"Some of them are salaried."

"Well, their contracts will run out eventually..." Lace shrugged.

Robert fiddled with the tie more.

"Robert, it's bothering you."

"How can you tell, you won't look up from what you're doing."

"Hacking takes concentration."

"What?"

"Oh, it's light hacking... Kim Tate's finances, just taking a bit of a good perusal."

Robert sighed. 

"Take it off... YOu don't need to dress like a CEO, you are a CEO."

"I can wear a bloody tie..." He mumbled and tried to take a cleansing breath. Only there was a lump in his throat he couldn't swallow away. It'd been there since he'd started trying to tie it and gotten worse once Liv had knotted it for him. He tried to breathe through it again, but it wasn't helping. It was almost making it worse...

"Shit."

"Just take it off," Lace repeated. 

"No." He dug in his heels. It wasn't that he wanted to wear, it hated wearing them -- but it was part of his business persona, it always had been. He dressed for success. He aimed for what he was striving for -- and Lace was asking him to get the people he was meeting today to back off from breathing down her neck. He was going to do that, spin and charm, and make them think he was at least somewhat on their side. 

If he was going run a company, he'd do it well. 

Even if the armor he needed made him feel trapped in his own skin. He walked across the room to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. He wasn't sure where this came from. The feeling of constriction the tie was making him feel -- it wasn't from years of not wearing one. Not really. 

_It was cold hands._

He blinked and shook himself. That'd been years ago, he thought, and he'd gotten through it. It was why and when he decided to learn to fight back better, use his height and strength. It shouldn't be bothering him now... 

He inhaled.   
"You're pale."

He looked over at Lace, who wasn't looking at the computer screen. 

She waited. 

"Just... Leave me that number of a counselor, will ya."

She pointed to a piece of blue paper on the kitchen table. "What do you think that is."

He walked over and pocketed it. 

"Just take it off," she said.

He shook his head. He couldn't give into it. He just couldn't. It felt like admitting defeat. So, he sipped his water instead. 

~~~

"Ah, the look anyone loves to see: utter disappoint. But I know you were expecting a lot taller and male," Lace quipped as she opened the door to the Mill and waved Aaron in. 

He shrugged, not quite able to care at all, he looked disappointed. 

"I really don't think you need to ring first," Lace said. 

"Not my house."

"If you say so..." She said, as she sat down and started clicking keys on her laptop. 

"Where is he?"

"Upstairs."

Aaron stepped onto the first stair.

"Wait..." Lace called up and turned away from her laptop.

"What?" Aaron asked. 

She frowned. 

"Is he alright?"

She shook her head. 

Aaron frowned. "What is it?"

"No clue," Lace sighed. "Not really. It's just... I know him, but I don't know him. Decades have flown by, and he is different than that hard-walled idiot who lived in the closet I knew. He's been through I think both the best and worst parts of his life... So, I know something is wrong, but I'm not the person he's going to let in.'

Aaron looked up the stairs and back at her. "He mentioned meetings?"

"They went fine, better than -- he charmed them. Exactly what I was looking for... But, if you knew him, it was obvious he was barely holding it together."

He chewed on his lip and looked up the stairs again. He didn't know, that was the problem. He really didn't know what was really happening in Robert's head -- and maybe Robert didn't know either. He'd spent seven years in prison, it made Aaron's stomach twist. He spent about a month, and it was still a trauma that caught him sideways somedays. Robert made a noise he hadn't gone through anything as bad -- but did that matter? The time he was there, and there was no way it was smooth sailing in any fashion. 

His body was leaner than it'd ever been, his muscles stronger than Aaron remembered them... It fit that boredom wasn't really the only reason Robert might have found himself exercising. 

"You can handle it?" Lace's voice cut into his thoughts, there was a hard edge to it. He looked at her, her eyes were daggers aimed right at him. He felt a bit of a shiver...

Who was she?

"Can you."

It felt like a threat rather than a question. 

It made Aaron tense and his chest puffed out, he glared right back at her. "Just do whatever you're doing, will ya...' He pointed at her laptop. "I'm going upstairs."

She didn't move or blink.

He glared a moment longer and turned up the stairs. 

He heard Robert's voice before he reached the bedroom door and paused. Unsure if it was to go Robert privacy or to eavesdrop. He couldn't really hear him, he seemed to be just answering questions with small yesses or noes. 

"Tomorrow?" Robert sounded tense. "Uh, yeah, no, yeah tomorrow. 9 am... Yes. Uh, no, no, I can come on my own."

Aaron frowned and pressed forward, knocking on the door, feeling he needed to give Robert a choice to turn him away. But he hated it. 

"What're you knocking for?" Robert asked from where he sat at the edge of the bed. 

"Don't know..." Aaron lied. "What's tomorrow?"

Robert's shoulders drew in as he tensed, but he nodded. "Uh, my first session with a counselor... They're in Hotten." 

"Want a ride?"

"No," Robert said and shook his head. "I better go alone."

"You're not," Aaron said as he sat down next to Robert.

"I know...I do," he repeated, and Aaron realized he must have made a face. "But I gotta...I gotta get my bearings on me own first."

"Alright. But call me after?"

Robert grinned and nodded.

Aaron reached out and tugged on the undone tie around Robert's shoulders. "New look?"

"Uh...yeah, not much for ties now."

"Were you ever?"

Robert stared at him. "I never told you that."

"Yeah, but you wore them less and less, didn't ya."

"When I could get away with it, yeah..." Robert smiled. "You figured that out."

"I know you," Aaron whispered. "Bit hypocritical, though. Given wanting me to wear one all the time."

"If you could see how fit you look in one, you'd understand."

Aaron's cheeks went red. 

Robert's whole expression softened. 

"What?"

"Missed making you blush," Robert whispered. 

He blushed more but laughed in a bark he hadn't heard himself do in a long time. He grabbed Robert's hand and squeezed it. "You're alright?" 

Robert sighed. "Lace say something."

"A bit."

"I don't know, I..." He pulled off the tie. "It just felt wrong. I feel wrong."

Aaron shook his head. "You're not."

Robert clenched his jaw but nodded. 

"She said the meetings went well."

"I know the type, old and the most important thing in their life is their wallet..." He sighed. "I don't know why I ever wanted to be one of them."

"You were a muppet."

"I wanted to simultaneous show it to my dad and make him proud..." Robert shook his head. "I was a mess until you, Aaron..."

"After me, too," Aaron laughed. "But so was I."

"But we made it through..." Robert said. 

"And, we will again."

Robert nodded. 

Aaron frowned when his phone buzzed in his pocket. "Phone..." He muttered, pulling it out. "It's Seb's school."

"Is he alright?" Robert sat up straighter.

Aaron answered. "Hello... This is Aaron Dingle...yes, yes. He is. Now? Alright..."

"Aaron?"

"It's the school, I told them about you being back and all. They want to meet for a chat. It's probably just a formality to make sure we're all on the same page."

"Or they're not happy to hear a murderer is out prison."

"You're not a murderer, Robert..." Aaron held onto his hand as he sprang off the bed and tried to walk away. "You're not, remember."

"Just...don't...please?" Robert asked.

Aaron frowned. "Alright. Let's go to the school. By the time we're finished, Seb will be out for the day. We can do something, all three of us?"

Robert grinned. "Yeah, I'd like that." 

Aaron smiled, stood up, and went to pull Robert out of the bedroom. 

"One second," Robert said and tugged harder on Aaron's arm.

He let himself get pulled into Robert's space, felt hands land on his waist and leaned into Robert and up on his toes. The kiss was short, soft, and made him want more. Their eyes locked, and he felt the mutual spark from Robert's eyes, and they both groaned a bit. 

"You started it," Aaron muttered as Robert reluctantly pulled away. 

"Yeah, well... We have a lot to make up for."

Aaron smiled. 

"But first, or son."

"First, our son."


	29. Chapter 29

The school walls were the same shade as the prisons. He tried to focus on the colorful stripes and the paintings and other things that distinctly showed he was standing in a children's school. But all he could see was that off white shade, and he felt clammy Robert pulled the top two buttons his shirt lose and told himself he was breathing perfectly fine. He startled a bit when Aaron's hand slipped in his but settled quickly. His callous palm felt perfect against his own, they were rougher than he remembered, maybe a few more from years of working at the scrapyard. But it was Aaron's hand, he'd know it anywhere, and it was calming…

Even if it didn't erase the unease. 

He squeezed Aaron's hand a silent thank you and let him lead him to where they were meeting with Seb's teachers he supposed. He hated this, being a parent that might cause more problems than good in Seb's life. He never wanted that for him, but he supposed life never went by the perfect picture in one's head. He frowned as he remembered Rebecca was dead, not that he'd really forgotten, but it hadn't flashed to the front of his thoughts right. They weren't close, never really had been, and it wasn't an easy situation, but she'd been his son's mother, and he'd never wanted Seb to be without that presence. 

And it'd happened when he was gone and away. 

He glanced at Aaron and had a flash of his mum. Sarah. Who never saw him as someone else's child only as her own. Of course, Aaron had done the same thing, opened his heart, and taken in Seb. The flood gratitude made his heart slow a bit, and he took an easier breathe. He could do this as long as Aaron didn't let go of his hand. 

"I won't," Aaron said. 

Robert chuckled a bit as he nodded, unaware he'd said it aloud.  
"Mr. Dingle," a woman said with a bright smile and a cheery voice that went right through Robert's head. He glanced at Aaron and saw him minutely wincing at it himself. 

"Ms. Gray," Aaron said, ignoring her offered hand to hold onto Robert's. "Uh, this is my…this is Seb's father, Robert Sugden." 

Robert nodded. 

She dropped her hand and walked around to her desk and waved at them to sit down. "Thank you for coming in, I just wanted to touch base since this a big change. Miss Blakemore has said Sebastian's been talking nonstop about having his dad back, and there haven't been issues."

Aaron nodded.

Robert felt uneasy, remembering that there had been some issues at one point. 

"If there were issues, you'd be on it, though?" he asked. 

She looked at him. "Of course, but he has quite a lot of friends. He's quite popular, so I don't expect too many problems. But kids are kids, we'll be keeping an eye out."

Robert nodded but thought she had to say that. 

"So… you were released quite early, our paperwork said that wasn't an option…" she spoke a bit more awkwardly.

"His charges were lessened, and he's serving time served."

"Oh..." She said. 

"Someone else was responsible," Aaron added. 

"Well, that must have been awful being blamed for someone else's actions."

Robert squeezed Aaron's hand because it felt like a lie, and he wanted to argue but knew that wasn't the time. Nor would it be good to state that he has no regrets about his actions with Posner. "I'm just happy to be back in my son's life."

"And you're um… together?" She asked. 

They looked at each other, their minds scrambling.

"It's just, is Seb's home life going to be changed in any way."

Aaron cleared his throat. "Well, he and I just moved recently but, um, Robert's in our old home. Seb will be going between us, we haven't come up with a schedule or anything yet. Just playing it by ear, not much has changed."

"Alright… keeping things as stable as possible is important."

"We know that," Robert snapped. 

"Of course," she said. 

"Is that all," Aaron asked. 

"Well…uh, yes, I suppose. The last bell in a few minutes, you're welcome to wait outside of Sebastian's classroom."

Robert couldn't help but think they didn't need permission for that and glanced at Aaron and met the same thought in his eyes. They stood up at the same time, and Aaron led them out of the office. Robert let a relieved breathe as they stepped out into the hallway until he saw the walls again. He tensed. 

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"Robert?"

"Wall paint…" Robert muttered and hoped Aaron understood. 

Aaron looked at the wall, slowly he started to nod. "Come on, we won't be in here long."

He nodded and let Aaron move through the hallways. After a bit in one of the more colorful hallways — thankfully — the walls covered in projects and artwork from the kids. They stopped in front of a door, and Aaron leaned against a wall. Robert followed his lead, their arms brushing together, their hands tightly held together. 

"Thought we could take him to this duck pond he likes," Aaron said. 

Robert nodded. 

"He likes animals, a lot keeps begging for a puppy."

"And you haven't caved in?" Robert stared at him. "You love dogs."

"Dennis was allergic… hives and all."

"Oh."

Aaron shrugged.

"Would it be overcompensating him to get him one?" Robert asked. 

Aaron laughed. "What? You were always against it."

"It was work," Robert muttered. "And shedding, and I knew who'd do all the cleaning."

Aaron grinned. 

"I was…" Robert sighed. "When Liv got her scores back, remember? I was going to surprise you all, but…"

"Really?" 

"Yeah…" Robert looked down. "I wanted to see all of you smiling, you know."

"My flat's don't allow dogs," Aaron muttered. 

"The Mill does…." Robert whispered. 

Aaron nodded. "Maybe."

"Alright, we'll talk about it more."

"I like that…" 

"What?"

"We…" Aaron smiled. 

Robert met his gaze and nodded. 

They fell silent, and Robert was afraid to blink, not wanting to tear himself away from Aaron's gaze and this moment. But the bell rang, and he jumped out his skin. "Shit."

"It's alright," Aaron said.

"No, it's not," he spat out. 

Aaron blinked, but the door in front of them flew open, and a slew of children rushed out. Robert turned toward it and blinked at the sea of Seb sized children, and the first child he recognized wasn't his own. Isaac rushed up to Aaron and smiled. 

"Are you picking me up too, do I get to play with Seb instead of going to the dentist…"

"Uh, no mate, if you have an appointment, you're mum is probably at the pickup gate."

Isaac scowled, and Robert nearly barked out a laugh at how much like Cain he looked. 

"You're sure."

"Yeah, mate."

Isaac scowled some more and walked away, dragging his feet. 

Robert started laughing. 

Aaron joined him. 

"What's funny?" 

They both looked down at Seb, who was standing in front of them with his bookbag slung over his shoulders. 

"Nothing, Bud," Aaron said. "Your dad and I thought we'd go to the duck pond."

"Yeah?" Seb's eyes brightened. "Then, Daddy can make us tea?"

"Seb…"

"PLEEEEASE."

"Yeah, I can make you tea."

"At ours, though," Aaron said, giving Robert a look.

"Of course," Robert said. "Ducks now, though, right?"

Seb nodded and grabbed Robert's other hand. "Let's go."

He looked down at his son, really holding onto only three of his fingers, but he would gladly let him. He felt oddly save between Aaron and Seb, like maybe he belonged here, in this moment, and it wasn't a fluke of circumstances. He breathed a bit sharply and felt Aaron tighten his hold, silently letting him know he was there…

But it was easier to ignore the walls, and he felt something lift off of him as they stepped outside of the school. They got into Aaron's car, and Robert hated that he lost both hands clasped around his. But he helped Seb get into the backseat and buckled up before sliding into the passenger seat and doing the same thing for himself. 

"Do you have a lot of homework?" Aaron asked.

"Loads, same as always. We started a new maths chapter, it's hard."

"I'll look at it with ya," Robert said, turning to look at him.

Seb gave him a toothy grin. "I got an A on my English homework…"

"That's great," both Aaron and Robert said. 

Robert tried to just enjoy the moment for what it was...

~~~

Aaron sat down on the bench by the pond, wanting to give Robert and Seb their own time. Seb was talking nonstop to Robert, telling him what he'd named all the ducks in the pond. Robert was hanging onto every word and staring at Seb like he hung the moon. 

And like he might vanish if Robert dared to look away.

Aaron ran his hand over his face and chewed his bottom lip. There was this spun glass feeling about Robert that'd never existed before… It was a far cry from the always put together, and strong man Robert fought to project. Though maybe that wasn't a bad thing? Robert held himself to well sometimes, in the past, Aaron thought — and then when he fell apart, he'd take his entire world with him…

One shovel.

One push.

Aaron sighed as other examples he'd rather not think about rushed around in his head. Robert couldn't hide the feelings now, he was stripped down of all his bravado… He needed to find a healthy version of it, Aaron thought, and he hoped the counseling would help him to get through his readjustment to having his life back and help him feel stronger in his skin. 

Aaron wished he knew how to help him other than being there. He knew from experience that was all that was needed — but from the other end, it felt like it wasn't enough. He smiled a bit as he thought about how hard Robert had tried sometimes, both good and bad, to make sure Aaron knew he was there…

Robert had always looked out for him better than anyone in his life. 

He would do the same.

He had too, he thought as he watched Robert grab Seb and put him on his shoulders. Then hold up the sprig of grapes they'd bought for him to feed the ducks. Seb laughed madly, yelling about how high he was, and Robert's deep and sincere laughter joined him. 

_Same laugh._ Aaron smiled. He'd known since Seb started laughing, he and Robert shared that specific joyous sound and a time or two it'd hurt to hear it over the years. But now it was in stereo, one deep and one high, but the same sound. One of Aaron's favorite sounds, and he stood up. 

They'd had plenty of time alone, he wanted to be with his family. 

~~~

Hours later, Robert walked down the stairs in Aaron's flat and ran his hand down the back of his neck. He found Aaron in the kitchen washing up the dishes from their tea and hovered awkwardly by the door. Aaron glanced back at him but turned back to the dishes. 

"He go to bed?"

"After two stories, yeah, he finally nodded off…" Robert yawned. 

Aaron glanced back again. "You look knackered."

"A bit, yeah…I should probably call a taxi and go…"

Aaron stopped washing the dishes. "Oh."

"It's just it's late, and you can't drive me…" Robert felt like his tongue was thick. 

Aaron was walking toward him. "Maybe not yet?"

"No?" Robert asked.

Aaron grabbed him by his belt, yanked him closer, leaned up, and kissed him. Robert breathed into his mouth, his hands landing on his face and groaned at the feeling of kissing Aaron. 

Kissing Aaron...

He remembered their first kiss, the mad dash, the panic burning in his veins, and how every kiss afterward felt just as dangerous, and it never faded. His brain always sputtered at it. At kissing Aaron Dingle…

And it'd been too long, even though they kissed already, numerous times. It'd been too long, and he'd thought he'd never have this again. Scruffy cheeks held in his palms and Aaron's hands climbing up his arms until one landed on the back of his neck, fingers poking into the hair on the nape of it. 

"Aaron…" he breathed out low and husky when they parted for just a second.

"Hmmm…" Aaron hummed and started pushing him, dragging him, where he wanted him, up the stairs and through a door, their clothes flying off the second Aaron kicked the bedroom door closed. 

Like their first kiss.

Like their second.

Like a million in. 

And it was all Robert wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Hi. Hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. <3


	30. Chapter 30

Aaron collapsed on top of him. Their chests pressed together, and Robert dragged his hand up Aaron's spine and closed his eyes. He could feel both of their hearts beating. Racing along as they both tried to catch their breath. He felt breath on his cheek, then Aaron shifting, so he wasn't a heavy weight against Robert's chest, and he almost yanked him back and realized he wanted his heartbeat. He shifted himself, and Aaron buried his face into Robert's neck, he felt lips press against his skin and then the roughness of Aaron's stubble as he just settled in. 

Aaron just slipped into place in his arms. 

He tensed. 

Aaron followed him and lifted up, their eyes meeting. 

"Is this too easy?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. 

"Isn't it…we're…"

Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"Amazing at this…" Robert ended up laughing.

"We always were… sex was always… I wouldn't say easy, we just excel at it," Aaron ducked his head a smug smile formed. 

"Was it.." Robert bit his lip and tried to squelch the curiosity and the jealously that followed.

"No," Aaron said quickly. "No."

Robert shook his head. "I mean, it couldn't have been bad?"

Aaron sighed and looked away.

"I'm sorry."

"You're the only one I look at," Aaron said after a beat. "I open my eyes, and I watch you, meet your eyes, I watch us…I just shut my eyes with the rest, barely open them unless he asked…which he didn't that often," Aaron trailed off. "I mean, did you?"

"There was no one Aaron…" Robert shook his head. 

"It was seven years."

"Did you notice how fast I came that first night?"

Aaron shrugged. "I wasn't far behind. It was you… Are you mad?"

"That you've been…" Robert sighed. "Yes, no, yes. More at myself. I told you too, didn't I? I gave you back the ring, and I ended our marriage."

Aaron sniffled. "I, uh… right after there were a few weeks where I went out every night, and it was because I wanted to hurt you, but I only hurt me…"

Robert clenched his jaw. 

"But I let it go."

"Us?"

"No…" Aaron buried his face into his neck again. "I let our marriage go, I never let you go…" he sighed. "I pretended, for Liv and for mum and Paddy…"

Robert huffed. 

"I know, don't be mad at them."

"I'm not, well, Chas maybe, Paddy definitely," Robert smiled at him.

Aaron rolled his eyes. 

"I thought about you every day, Robert. And it wasn't just about Seb sometimes doing or saying something that just evoked you. It was just every day, a little thought, or your voice in my head. Every day. At first, I told myself it would fade like memories do… but it never did. None of our memories faded either…. I just accepted it as a fact that'd you were too much a part of who I am to fade." 

Robert stared at him, felt his heart swell, and his eyes sting. He shook his head. "Aaron…"

"Don't tell me I shouldn't feel that for ya, Robert."

"I was in prison."

"Didn't change who you are or who you are to me."

"Which is?"

"Love of my life," Aaron said, cheeks dark pink and shaking his head. 

Robert nodded, feeling it wash through him. "Same, you know."  
Aaron nodded. 

"It's just…" Robert sighed. "I told myself I didn't deserve you, that I never deserved any of it, us, Seb, wanting more… I never deserved it, and maybe I was just given it, so I knew for sure once it was ripped away."

"Robert?"

"His voice… Jack…. It got so loud in there, Aaron…" Robert sighed. "Not sure I can mute it again."

"It's lies, his voice lies to ya."

"Katie…." He sighed. "I heard her too."

"You didn't kill her."

Robert looked at him.

"It was a shove, Robert."

"Yeah, I shoved her to the floor because I was scared and a coward. And he died and I…"

"I love ya," Aaron said, and he moved, sitting up and pulling Robert with him. He grabbed his face and met his eyes. "I love ya, always… you told me that, remember. In that daft video you made, you promised you loved me always."

Robert nodded.

"And at the prison, you told me I was the best thing that ever happened to you… made me promise. Promise to never forget."

"It's true, it's so true and don't…"

"I remembered, I kept that promise, I promise… and it's true for me too. You are the best thing that happened to me, in my life, you… all the things that were and are amazing in my life. Are all because of you, one way or another. I can sleep at night, I know who I am in my own skin and don't want to tear it up when things get hard. I have Seb… that perfect kid, our kid."

"I've hurt ya, I've made ya hurt yourself, Seb…Rebec…"

"Yeah, alright, there is pain, yeah, a lot, but it's part of us, Robert. We got through it, we went the wrong way a few times, and we came out right in the end. We can do it again."

"I don't…" Robert gulped for air and wiped at his nose. "Shit."

Aaron rubbed his cheekbones with his thumbs. 

"The doubt is loud…it's not you though, I'll never doubt you, it's me. It's… I can't pretend it's not there anymore, I lost that in there, I lost that in prison. It's loud, and it's their voices."

"Well, you have mine again, yeah? Yeah, you have mine to offset them."

Robert nodded.

"What time is that appointment."

"Nine."

"Alright…" Aaron let go of his face, and Robert grabbed his wrists.

"Just need too…" Aaron gently pulled an arm away and reached for his phone. "I'm just going to set an alarm…oh, in two hours, not much time for some rest… but you need to sneak out before Seb sees ya." 

Robert nodded. 

"Okay, it's set, you'll have time to use my car to get The Mill. Vic's doing the school run, so I can get ride with her, alright?"

"I don't deserve…"

"Shh…" Aaron pulled him back down, and this time he buried his face into Aaron's neck. Inhaled his scent, and he blinked against the tears in his eyes. He wrapped his arms, legs, all of him around Aaron. Let Aaron yank him into his hold, and they settled, quite firmly in the middle of the bed. Aaron ran his fingers through his hair. 

Somehow he slept. 

~~~

Aaron yawned the minute his car vanished from his sight. He hadn't slept, his heart was worried, and his mind was buzzing. He knew all of Robert's demons, and now he knew they'd been attacking him for seven years. He was almost surprised Robert was standing. He was surprised he wasn't self-destructing… but maybe that was coming. Maybe he was too stripped down not to?

Aaron sighed and wished he knew. 

He'd kissed him and told him he loved him before he walked out of the door. They'd kissed more than once, their hands traveling, they couldn't stop touching. They'd made love last night and again, Robert waking up after less than an hour of sleep. But he'd seemed better, he'd touched him with certainty anyway…

Or holding on to prove to himself Aaron was there… Aaron knew he'd been touching him the same way. He was bowled over too, but he was steady, he was strong…. He still had weak moments, but they far apart, and he knew how to handle them. He hadn't self-destructed in years, and probably losing Robert again would be the only thing to do it… 

Again?

Did he fully have him back yet?

They had to try to move slow…. He felt like they were already failing. Robert needed to find himself again, his real full self, and forgive himself things — that maybe he'd never forgiven himself before in the first place. 

He yawned again when he heard his phone ringing from inside. He turned and closed the door to his flat, the place that didn't feel like home. At all. Last night was the first night it'd come close to it, and that'd been because Robert was the one in the kitchen, cooking them a meal. The three of them laughing and joking and a family. 

He seemed happy with Seb, there was less trace of the anxiety in his eyes with Seb… Aaron knew from experience how healing their son could be, simply by being. He hoped it helped Robert. 

But he was going to have to be careful. 

He had to protect all of them. 

He picked up his phone, sighing as the call went to his voicemail and then frowning when it was Dennis. He chewed his lip and waited for the alert of a voicemail. He dialed, wanting to ignore it but feeling like he shouldn't. He sighed in irritation as Dennis' message was him letting him know he'd made it to London and was fine. That he didn't want Aaron to worry…

He shook his head. 

He'd tried to be clear. 

The time away would help Dennis see it would have too… He sighed because he didn't have time for him, or it, he deleted the message and contemplated sending Dennis a text, something that would remind him what Aaron had said…

But he'd expect a callback. That was what they'd done. A text fell into that. 

No, it was best to ignore him. 

He heard footfalls and saw Seb standing there, a fist in one of his eyes as he looked sleepily at Aaron. "I want toast, please?"

"Of course," Aaron smiled, but he grabbed him and hugged him.

"Oi, Da…"

Aaron kissed his head and chuckled. "Alright, don't poke your eye out, go wash your face and brush your teeth. I'll make you toast."

'But then I'll have brush my teeth again."

"Do you not want toast."

"Da…" Seb rolled his eyes and went to wash his face and brush his teeth. 

He's heard his phone again. 

This time it was a text from Robert. 

_Kiss Seb good morning for me? I promise I'll call the second my appointment is over. X _

"Is that from Daddy?" 

He looked up at Seb, who had his toothbrush still in his mouth. "In the bathroom."

"But I could tell you weren't making my toast. Is that Daddy?"

"Yeah, it is, come here…"

Seb walked up to him.

Aaron grabbed his head and kissed him.

"Da…"

"Not me, your dad, that's from him."

"Really?"

Aaron nodded.

"Toast now?"

Aaron laughed. "Toast now."


End file.
